I’ve been doing a bit more work to finalise my book today. It needs a cover. In a muddle I started calling on my friends for assistance. Thank goodness for their support.

I know I have a tendency to get in a dither. Especially when I know what I have to decide can make a big difference to me. Bringing my first book into being has had me calling on all sorts of abilities I wasn’t sure I even possessed. My writing for a start. Believing I could do it. And sticking with it through all the tedious bits. Now I have to finalise all those little details that make it as professional as possible. Checking the spellings, comma placements and grammar. Looking at what I’ve written with a fresh pair of eyes to make sure it’s relevant to the story. Making sure that there is a flow between each section. And trying to make sure it isn’t boring or long winded.

Having got through those things I’m left with how it will look when published. What should I put on the cover? That’s where I decided calling on my friends was a good idea. And they responded to my shout out. Not so that they would make the choice. But so that I could stop my ideas going round and round. I find that is a wonderful part of friendship. My friends knew that I needed to step back from the stuck spot. So they helped me do it. And they know that I will help them to step back whenever necessary. Get some space and look at things with fresh eyes.

Calling on friends wouldn’t have occurred to me a while back. I really thought I had to manage everything all by myself.

That meant I wasn’t valuing my friends in the best way. Because they wanted to help. It was me who was stuck on not asking. Or even when I did, on not receiving the help. Nor was I valuing myself. My friends wanted to help because I had helped them. We were in relationships based on giving and receiving. Except that I was unwilling to receive. It took me a long time to recognise that I was suffering from a serious shortage of self-worth and self-belief. Fortunately my friends kept calling, sticking with me until I had figured it out, making sure I had the chance to learn to accept.

Today I thought about how much better I am at receiving help. About asking for it in the first place. And I’m writing about it because I know that many other people are also stuck about asking for help. It’s part of the difficulty that hinders that community feeling we all hope for. When everyone is focused on giving and no one is receiving we have a one sided  society. And the energy of compassion is stuck. To make it flow I have to become open to receiving and passing in all the goodness that is offered to me. Fortunately my friends have helped me get into a better balance with this. Now I can help others to notice and experience the balance of giving and receiving.

I owe my friends a lot. They have improved my life by calling on me to receive as well as give. Today I showed I could ask for help. And they very generously gave it. I’m delighted to receive their inspiration once again.

Day 622 of my blogging challenge