Remember your Shadow Self

Winter1WOL_FotorShadow – a space where light from a light source is blocked by an opaque object. As I was reflecting today – it’s been one of my quieter ones – I connected with my feelings about several incidents that have happened to me lately. Petty acts of vandalism designed, I’m sure, to inconvenience me have been happening. However, three of those have had the potential to cause physical harm to me or other people. I’m sure the person responsible hasn’t considered the consequences of their actions. I’m also sure that they have justified their actions in one way or another as being appropriate.

What they are missing out is to understand their own Shadow side. We all have emotions that can block the Light within us. Those emotions can generate thought and actions which are harmful to others. What we don’t realise is that these feelings and thoughts are always harmful to us too. In his book Manual of the Warrior of Light, Paulo Coelho writes

“When somebody wants something, the whole Universe conspires in their favour. The warrior of light knows this.

For this reason he takes great care with his thoughts. Hidden beneath a whole series of good intentions lie feelings that no one dares confess to himself: vengeance, self-destruction, guilt, fear of winning, a macabre joy at other people’s tragedies.

The Universe does not judge; it conspires in favour of what we want. That is why the warrior has the courage to look into the dark places of his soul in order to ensure that he is not asking for the wrong things.

And he is always very careful about what he thinks.”

Keeping our Shadow side hidden from ourselves means that we ignore a part of the energy that we are broadcasting to others. We are wearing a blindfold, perhaps even thinking that we are kind, helpful or caring, when the energy underneath draws to it the opposite.We also forget that the Universe will deliver on that energy just as much as on the positive requests we make. It’s even possible for the Shadow energy to cancel out all of the positive manifesting energy we generate so that we end up stuck.

So how do we deal with our Shadow self? Carl Jung said “Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people.” Allowing yourself to have a Shadow side is the first step. Be honest with yourself about what you feel. Track down where your thoughts are leading you. Admit that there are some feelings & thoughts that make you want to lash out, to harm or hurt. It’s much safer to acknowledge that you are capable of anything than to fool yourself you aren’t. Then look for ways to channel that energy in safe ways. For example, if you are angry, rather than lashing out with verbal or physical blows, or bottling the energy up, use that energy as a force to move you forward. Divert the energy into doing something to change your situation, to be active or to create. I often paint my anger out. It’s fascinating how the energy vibration of the pictures can change as I transform from angry to creative.

Let the free flow of your whole emotional energy bring you to a deeper understanding of your Shadow. Allow yourself to practice looking at it, exploring it and reducing it’s influence over your life. Make yourself whole – embrace your Light & Shadow.

Day 76 of my blogging challenge.

Surround yourself with Light

imageSometimes I forget what I’ve learned about being a Spirit/Human in the last 10 years. Occasionally something happens that tries to dim my Light. I initially react in a purely human way rather than in a spiritually human way. You might wonder what the difference is? And why it’s important to change the way you act & interact in the world.

My Guides have spent a long time helping me to navigate the world as it is underneath what we perceive with our 5 physical senses. They have constantly encouraged me to sense & understand that everything, including me, is energy in a flowing state. That, moment to moment, I will this physical body & world into existence along with all the other co-creators that form humanity. I have choices about what the energy forms into solid. I can make myself of high energy or low energy. Therefore I can change myself & my small part of the co-creation by the changes in my intention & energy.

They have also stressed that I’m not human energy alone. There is a flow of energy within me that is created by my Spirit consciousness. That Spirit is encouraging me to choose the intentions & actions that are of the highest vibration I can. They call this my Light. It is up to me as Spirit to help me as human to shine as much Light as possible for myself and others. The combined Light we shine will raise the energy vibrations we create so that our human reality will be more beneficial to all. This is a kind of enlightenment. The first step really. We can all share a different experience of human life.

When I worked in a corporate world this would have been called walking the talk. Many people ‘talk the walk’, that is they say they want  to be of service to others but they haven’t yet done the harder work of addressing some of the low energy choices they make. Their Light is dim so they co-create a loving human experience hardly at all. They wonder why they can’t make any progress and they hold onto fear, lack, envy, blame, aggression and anger. Eventually, hopefully, they start to seek inside themselves for the reasons they self-sabotage. They begin the work of cleaning their lamp and boosting their battery power. They start to discover the Spirit within.

When you realise that there is a Spirit part the task becomes to integrate the guidance from that aspect of you into the feelings, thoughts and responses of the human being. A lot of help and healing might be needed. Gradually the amount of energy being radiated at a higher vibration increases. Then it’s possible to walk the talk. To live & choose from the Spirit/Human perspective. To focus on unconditional love for self & others and to make choices guided by loving kindness. The choices being made may be as clear as mud to others who are not yet able to shine some or all of their Light. Living in the Light might appear as weakness at first. Yet acting from a place of strength a person who is shining their Light will always find the choices much easier than others can see.

I’m fortunate to be surrounded by others who are busy shining their Light. When my Light gets a bit dim they lift me up & help me clean my Light energy. I am protected by my Guides & Energy Beings so that my Light has less chance of going out altogether. Sometimes things happen that are unpleasant & I want to react from my lower energies. I’m grateful that I understand about energy and can choose not to be drawn into the drama of unpleasantness. My Light may flicker but it will never dim down. These moments help me to know I have changed, grown, can shine brighter if I choose.

Take a moment to notice what you are do-creating in your life. Do you radiate your Light of has it grown dim? Have you put a blanket over your Light so no-one can see it at all? What would it take to choose differently? To shine your Light? Please try to shine your Light fully again. You may not realis it but your radiance is beautiful.

Day 75 of my blogging challenge.

Peace: agree to disagree

imagePeace has been very much on my mind today. How do we achieve peace of mind even, if we are unable to achieve peacefully living with each other? One of the things I love about a good discussion is that by talking it through we can often agree on some shared understanding. Debating something is a valuable way of sharing my point of view, listening to other points of view and deciding whether my original position has changed. That process is a way of coming to a consensus as we agree to ‘see’ or understand something the same way. There are times, however, when we disagree. And perhaps we disagree very strongly with the other point of view. So much so that agreeing seems out of reach.

One of the talking points I often have with my Guides is about world peace (I like to start with the hard questions then move onto the easy ones, lol). In the beginning I wanted to know how & why any Divine Being would permit the aggression and violence that we have in this reality. They worked really hard to explain about free will and choice. Over and over they showed me their agreement as Spirit beings to use energy only for the greater good of all. In essence they choose to be of service to each other with no desire for an individual need or want. In fact it seems it’s impossible to consider only your individual position. They explained that the place a Spirit goes to consider things from an individual viewpoint is this Earth life.

This is a place where we can do what we want, where we choose if our actions are for the benefit ourself or for the benefit of everyone. This choice isn’t influenced by the Divine Being. We are pretty much left to our own devices. So we can be greedy, we can force others to do what we want and we can hurt people if we wish. We may have an internal debate about what we are choosing to believe or do. In fact we have a saying – The end justified the means – to give ourselves permission to do what we want. So we can disagree. Strongly. We can take action to impose our view on others. We can ‘defend’ our right to think unpleasant or outrageous things about other people. We can argue that we are the only one who is right.

The Divine Being (if that is your point of view) has created circumstances where we can experience the consequences of when we disagree. Those consequences can come at us full on. They can even lead to violence and war. It all depends how strongly you want to hold onto your viewpoint. How much you are prepared to disagree and take action to support your position. We can also experience the consequences of when we share an agreement. Not the ‘oh, I give in’ sort of agreement or the ‘I give way to your forcefulness’ sort either. If we can reach a consensus (something very different from compromise)  where we can acknowledge each other’s needs and work out the best way to share in a positive outcome then we have true agreement. Collaborating to deliver the agreed outcomes is then an act of service to each other where both or all benefit.

My Guides were very clear in telling me that world peace is actually in our own hands. Not theirs or of the Divine Being. Ours. I though a lot about this. It must look very strange from the outside. We disagree & fight over who is in charge. We disagree & fight about who owns this or that bit of land. We disagree & fight over who & what the Divine Being is. So much disagreement. What if we agreed that it was ok to disagree? What if, in every debate, we enjoyed the discussion then ended by agreeing that we would disagree where necessary but agree wherever possible? What if we went on to make choices that gave us the flexibility to disagree? What if we got so comfortable with the idea that it was ok to disagree we stopped trying to force compromises or agreement?

I have always believed that world peace is possible. I’d like to feel it was inevitable. Perhaps when we are comfortable enough to enjoy agreeing to disagree we will stop picking fights with those who don’t see the world the same way as us. You might not agree with me about some or any of the above. I’m happy to peacefully agree to disagree!

Day 74 of my blogging challenge.

Friendship, inspiration, collaboration

imageBusy, busy day! I was in the office just after 8am and only got home at 10pm. I normally make sure that I take a break if I have a long day but that wasn’t possible today. So what kept me energised & enjoying myself? It boils down to friendship. There are friends I see on a regular basis, friends I see occasionally & friends I don’t see for years. When I talk about friendship nowadays I also include my lovely friends on my social media too. We may never of met but our conversations can be friendships too.

I feel fortunate to have had many friendships in my life. Some have been for a short period or whilst I needed a different point of view. Some have lasted for many years, even when we can only meet up occasionally, and feel timeless. At the Centre today there was a lovely mix. Helen & Jon called in. We have shared many moments of laughter, learning and love together including the sharing of DiscWorld novels, trips to Ireland and working with Energy Beings. Carie & Alastair have shared many a Thursday Drop In with me as the discussions ranged across all sorts of subjects & the cuppas were regularly renewed. Kerry and Nycola, new friends who bring warmth & kindness with them every time the call, shared my meditation. This evening Sophie, my NCT friend, filled the Centre with laughter as her ante natal group discussed the sometimes fearful topic of giving birth. So much positive energy I was floating.

So what is friendship? The are many ways to define this kind of loving relationship. For me that is the key. A friendship is the connection of love you feel with someone so that you make room for them in your life as an inspirer and collaborator. You want to listen to what they say, you value their viewpoint and you feel a positive flow of energy in their company. You are prepared to overlook what you may judge to be their flaws or failings. You feel you can be relaxed and yourself with them. You feel that they will never let you down & always have your back.

Of course I’m highlighting the up side of friendship. There are times when friendships can be challenging. There are times when they can be exasperating, disappointing, broken. This is the real value of a friend. By being in our life a friend offers us a sounding board, experiences that challenge our world view and opportunities to practice unconditional love. We collaborate at exploring the connections, boundaries and flow of loving energy between us. We drift together, apart and, sometimes, back together in a new way with new understanding. Friendship has, at it’s heart, giving and taking, sharing and growing.

When a friendship appears to end it is a loss of an opportunity to grow.  Though often new friendships are blossoming as others are fading. And sometimes a friendship re-establishes itself after a break because underneath there is love. We don’t define that love feeling very well. One word has to stretch to cover a wide range of states of feeling (although Greek philosophers tried their best with four distinct words for the types of love we feel). I love that I have so many people I can call ‘friend’. Their role in my life matters – whether it’s a brief ‘morning Annie’ in my Facebook messages or a comment on a post, a text about something new or to arrange a meet up, or to get me focused on an outstanding piece of work (thanks Jan).

So today is a day to be glad I have friends who share their positive energy with me. Who has been your friend today? How have they inspired you, challenged you or worked with you? Tell them how much you have enjoyed their part in your day because that will certainly bring them back tomorrow.

Day 73 of my blogging challenge.

Love is in the air

imageIt’s nearly February! Valentine’s Day is on the way! Where did the first month of the year go? I sat with my lovely friend Jan Booth, the founder of Ostrich Angels today, as we both wondered how the time had managed to pass by in a blur. It was one of our regular catch ups to discuss the projects we are collaborating on. Both of us are independent women with a passion for what we do. Both of us follow our intuition in making our decisions. And both of us were drafted in by the Earth’s ArchAngels to distribute a new wave of positive energy flowing from them to all of us. That energy is unconditional Love.

By a series of synchronicities Jan & I met, developed a range of fragrances and turned that project into another range of fragrances which have turned into several more ranges. We’re not sure when it will all stop but we are loving every moment of the journey. That is the key thing underpinning our creative work. We love discovering more from the Energy Beings who step in close. We love all the ideas they bring us (even if some of these have to be ‘parked’ right now). We love that we don’t really know where we are going but the exploration is a great adventure.

So how are we helping to spread the Love? One of our first scents was the one we christened Love. We found we were developing a range we had to call the Pearls of Wisdom. Our Guides were very clear that this range would help people set an intention for themselves which would create the energy they gave out and received. Jan took the fragrance and turned it into a soap. That wasn’t enough though. Our Guides prompted, pushed and encouraged us to look at other ways the scent could get out into the world. A spray soon followed along with t light candles. The energy vibration of Love, based around rose quartz, appeals to a sense we often ignore. Yet we spend a lot of money on scent based products to make our selves and homes appealing.

I love the scent of Love. It reminds me of the newborn baby smell, a mix of talc, sweetness and bubblegum. When I use the spray on me I get an instant lift in my mood. Another way I put love in the air is to use the spray on my healing tree. Every day I send out distant healing. Using the spray reminds me that I’m sending out loving, supportive and positive energy to all who need it. It sets the intention for the help I want others to receive from the energy going out to them.

I work with energy vibrations. That is how I read Auras and connect with Spirit and other energy beings. Over time I’ve understood more and more that my personal energy vibration can become less clear, of lower energy and get clogged or stuck. The energy can stop flowing properly. A large part of developing my mediumship has been spending time cleaning up my energy so that the higher vibrational Energy Beings can connect with me more easily. Using the Love products has set my intention to myself. It has reminded me every day that I am a Spirit/Human being full of love and able to give & receive love. My vibration stays higher than it used to do. Just the smell of the soap or spray is enough to lift my mood. If you are now imagining me running into the bathroom to sniff my soap from time to time you are spot on, lol! I carry a spray in my handbag for a quick blast if I’m in a challenging situation. I’m totally hooked on Love.

What do you do to remind yourself that you are Love? How do you send out unconditional love? Do you let yourself receive the love that is all around you? Your Guides & Angels are tapping you on the shoulder. They want you to have that positive energy vibration from them and others. Love is in the air so make sure you get your share.

Day 72 of my blogging challenge.

Business Head On!

imageToday has been all about running a business – though perhaps not in the way that other people expect. First thing in the morning meetings really aren’t my style. I’m enough of a night owl to want a slower start to my day, especially if I’ve had a restless night’s sleep, so kick starting my mind for 8am was my first challenge of the day. I attended a Federation of Small Businesses Breakfast meeting at that time. We were discussing how to support each other and the wider business community so that the recovery for the local economy can happen as quickly as possible.

In the Calder Valley many businesses (one man bands all the way up to larger employers) haven’t had to face the nightmare of flood water in their premises but they do have to deal with the impact of a loss of trade. Householders & businesses putting their houses in order won’t be spending as much as they used to. Visitors might believe that the town is still closed. Some of these businesses will need help to find new customers (if they can) or ways to keep things going until things return to normal. That could take a long time. So it was useful to look at creative ways that we could support each other and to find out that some of our key events are still going to be happening.

We even have a new one! The townspeople have decided to have another go at Christmas. So on 25th June we will be getting out the tinsel, Santa will be calling & the Christmas tree will be looking amazing. Ok, so it may turn out to be the hottest day of the year but that will make a nice change. And on 26th it will be our fab Handmade Parade. Music, dancing, creative craftwork on display will make for a very different ‘Boxing Day’. There is always something happening here.

Tonight I went to one of the local pubs that has managed to reopen again – the Dusty Miller in Mytholmroyd. Another business meeting but for the crowd funding challenge 103 of us are part of. We are trying to raise £150,000 by 12th February so that our businesses can continue to offer our services to our community. We shared our stories, shared our strategies for making people aware of the funding bid and broke the remaining £34,000 we need into manageable chunks to raise. So raffles, press coverage, selling special or unique items are all on the list.

Many people suggest that mediums & psychics should offer their services for free. I don’t support that viewpoint. So that I can work full time in the service of Spirit I have to pay normal bills just like everyone else. Two years ago I made a commitment to my Guides & the Energy Beings that I would offer support & healing to as many people as I could. The way to do that turned out to be the Down 2 Earth Heart Centre. Setting up a sanctuary where people could come for a while to step out of the world. Where we could offer holistic therapies, counselling, healing and Spirit messages. Where people felt they could relax, de-stress and find a listening ear. The Centre isn’t run to give me an income – I subsidise the Centre with my mediumship.  It is a collaboration of like minded people who believe that support & healing should be available to all.

I still have to have a business plan, cash flow and an eye on the bottom line. I am still accountable to the bank & the business has to pay its bills. The admin still needs to be done. The difference for me is that I believe that the abundance needed to keep the Centre open will flow in. All I have to do is make sure that I am taking action in line with my intentions so that the Universe can make sure that everything happens in the way it should. Running a spiritual business has many things in common with any other business so it’s ok to have my business head on from time to time.

Day 71 of my blogging challenge.

Tarot & Oracle readings

imageI often start my day with a tarot or card reading. Or if I’m stuck with something I go and get a card or three to help me get unstuck. I love using cards as a way of opening my mind to another viewpoint. Even a pack of playing cards can help me pick up on a different interpretation of what is happening in my life. I love the cards so much that I have about 40 packs. They have found their way to me over the last 24 years and have become treasured friends.

Although my Guides work through a more direct connection sometimes they go quiet. Getting a clearer sense of what I need to pay attention to is left up to my free will rather than their suggestion. It’s the rules really. I have to make my own choices. If I can’t make up my mind they can’t do it for me so out come the cards to give me clarity. I use the Tarot or Oracle cards both to distract my conscious mind (so that other information from the background can arise) and as a way of letting my intuitive (psychic) senses send me info about what is happening in the energy around me. I prefer to seek a positive interpretation of cards. Life is full of downs so a focus on the ups will help me ride out the downs. Taking time to understand what the cards mean allows me to focus on what is ‘getting under my skin’ at that moment. Each card can give me a way of turning the stuckness of a situation into a new choice of action.

So to write this blog I got out my card packs. I asked as I shuffled 3 sets, one by one, what I needed to pay attention to at the moment. By the way, I usually pick 3 cards. If I am using more than one pack I pick one from each. Tonight I was doing that when 2 fell out of the middle pack. When a random card falls out I always keep it to look at even if I go on to pick more cards. I treat it like an extra message from my Guides. Here are the cards that came out:

imageFrequency Shift (from the set ‘Return of Spirit’ by Cheryl Lee Harnish) The opening explanation for this card reads “You are about to experience a shift in your frequency and this card comes to help prepare you for the upcoming event.” I wrote on my Facebook wall this morning about some of the things that I had been experiencing over the last few days. That included restless sleep, emotionally unsettling dreams and feeling emotionally flat. This makes sense with the interpretation of the card. The colours also fit in with the picture I’d put with my post. It reminded me that although I seem to be in a pause with my spiritual work it is only so that I can be fine tuned a bit more. It’s certainly true that my self healing and healing work is very much filling my days at the moment.


imageMy next card is 2 -Encoded (from the set ‘Path of the Soul Destiny Cards’ also by Cheryl Lee Harnish). The explanation begins “Where others see nothing, you see the deeper meaning or message hidden within. Your guides are working to communicate with you as your intuition and inner knowing expands.” I am aware that I have several new Guides around me at the moment. We are learning to work as a new team for whatever I will be doing in the future. As my energy has shifted it makes sense to be part of a new team. A guide team is there to balance the energy you have, to combine energies and to help you expand your abilities. It’s like moving from one set of coaches to another as you move to a new football or rugby club. You will be working with your existing talents but they will be asking you to do more, or do it in a different way.


imageThe third card fell out of the second pack (the one above). It’s card 3 – Awakening. The notes for this card start “This card expresses creative energy and self empowerment. It signifies a deeper inner awakening to previously unseen inner abilities, powers and gifts.” It made me laugh again when I read the interpretation. I mentioned I’d posted a photo on Facebook this morning. It was one I had created from a painting I did some time ago. But it needed a photoshop makeover. I also added one of my ‘Spirituality is …’ phrases to the photo (I channel the words from my Guides). Photo art is certainly one of my new skills I’m busy practicing. It seems there might be many more new skills to develop.


imageFrom the final pack I picked card 13 – Opening (from the set ‘Divine Guidance’ by Cheryl Lee Harnish) The description begins “Your intuition and psychic connection is open and flowing, allowing you to access higher realms of knowledge and understanding.” I’ve taken this as a confirmation that my ability to connect is getting stronger. I hope that I will be able to bring in the information that other people need as simply & clearly as possible. I’ve also begun revisiting books I studied a long time ago. I do like to reread books as there are different things to notice second, fifth or fiftieth time around. So I can also understand that I’m being asked to reconsider what I know or understand about the Spirit or Energy world. I’m happy to keep an open mind about what I will find or whether my understanding will shift in some way.

I’m happy to notice what the Tarot and Oracle cards represent. Many people believe that using them can lead someone into a web of negativity. In my experience using these psychic tools has never been a cause for concern. However, if you approach using cards with a closed mind you are only going to find your prejudices reinforced. If you do want to try to use Tarot or Oracle cards then pick a pack you like the look of. Check the guide book that comes with them (some packs don’t have any notes at all – not useful if you are a beginner) to make sure the written interpretations are straightforward. Beware the packs where you also have to buy another book to interpret the guide book that comes with the pack. That might mean that’s the cards are really best for people who have a bit of experience of working with cards.

So I know what to focus on for a while. How about you?

Day 70 of my blogging challenge. 

Art for Psychics

IMG_0695Today my blog is a little bit different. I aim to write every day but have said very little about my Art work. I like to work in abstract when I paint so that the meaning, feeling and images can emerge for the person who is looking at each piece. Working with the energy channeled from Energy Beings I believe my abstract work encourages the viewer to use their clairvoyance too. The pictures are full of faces – some easy to spot, some only visible with a side glance and some art faces only emerge after a long time.

So today, rather than describe my work in words, I’ve posted some of my art work below. Take a look at the images and let me know what you see in each one. Or how each one makes you feel. What thoughts arise as you look at the pictures? When the Spirit world get involved in producing art it’s because they want to give you a message. Paying attention to what you think, feel, remember or which picture you are most drawn to is a way to connect with the message. Think about your reactions. Perhaps write them down. Sometimes the message is much more than you feel it is at first. Or get your own pencils, pens, paints out and start drawing too. Any images or colours could be your Guides making their connection with you stronger. A creative mind is more flexible at accepting information a rational mind can often reject.

Step back from whatever you produce. It doesn’t have to be perfect, the Mona Lisa or anything to please other people. Have fun. Get messy. Enjoy the space you are creating for inspiration to emerge. You might even surprise yourself!

Pastel on paper. Inspired by Earth's ArchAngel Shimea

Pastel on paper. Inspired by Earth’s ArchAngel Shimea

Acrylic on Canvas. Inspired by Crystal Guide

Acrylic on Canvas. Inspired by Crystal Guide

Acrylic on Canvas. Inspired by Goddess energy

Acrylic on Canvas. Inspired by Goddess energy

Acrylic on Canvas. Inspired by Earth's ArchAngel Shimea

Acrylic on Canvas. Inspired by Earth’s ArchAngel Shimea

Acrylic on Canvas. Inspired by my Crystal Guide

Acrylic on Canvas. Inspired by my Crystal Guide

Acrylic on canvas. Inspired by my Crystal Guide

Acrylic on canvas. Inspired by my Crystal Guide
















Prints & artwork can be purchased from Growth Into Awareness email for more details.

Day 69 of my blogging challenge.

Lightwork isn’t easy but you can make it so

Lightworker1One of the titles my kind of work is often called is ‘Lightworker’. What is Lightwork? It’s different from medium or psychic. Those descriptions have come to represent working only with Spirit people or predictions based on aura energy. Being a Lightworker means to work with energy, transformation and healing so that the inner journey results in a greater transfer of Light into the outer world (my definition). You can find other definitions around the Web but the main point is that the use of this title widens the scope of what people understand I do. I prefer to talk about working with Energy Beings. My sensitivity to energy has been the result of an inner spiritual journey. The direct result of that journey has been that I and others are in the process of receiving healing energy.

One of the most helpful books to cross my path as I was developing was ‘Manual of the Warrior of Light’ by Paulo Coelho. You see, I was finding all this Lightwork stuff difficult. It was bad enough to be a skeptic and find that there were Spirits. To find that there were lots of other energy types who introduced themselves to me was rather mind-blowing. I was way outside my comfort zone. I admit I had read and heard of lots of them. Reading about the Dragons, Elementals, Angels, Pleiadians, Arcturians and many, many more is one thing. But getting to sense them, up close and personal, is much harder to deal with. Across my path came this wonderful book. I was mesmerised by these lines

What is a warrior of light?

You already know that, she replied with a smile. He is someone capable of understanding the miracle of life, of fighting to the last for something he believes in – and of hearing the bells that the waves sets ringing on the seabed.

He had never thought of himself as a warrior of light. The woman seemed to read his thoughts. Everyone is capable of these things. And, though no one thinks of themselves as a warrior of light, we all are.

As I dived into the book – a series of statements about the warrior of light and how one goes about Lightwork – I understood that I had to put my faith in my experiences. Understanding what those experiences meant was an exercise for later. Trusting that what I felt, sensed, heard or saw would take me further on the spiritual path I seemed to have stumbled onto. The pages of the book were signposts on my way. I have returned to the book again and again. When I am struggling to accept I’m a Lightwkrker. When I have lost my faith or trust. When I am disappointed in myself or others. When I have failed. The comfort of the statements lifts my chin back up. I hold my head higher. I endure and persevere.

People enter into their mediumship development full of hope (possibly), intrigued (certainly), frustrated (sometimes), scared (often) and with a need to understand (always). They haven’t realised the effort, patience and determination required to make sense of the communications they receive. There is much uncertainty. Moving from incompetent to competent is a life long journey. We are trying to rediscover the natural connections we enjoyed as small children. Removing the conditioning, that has been around us ever since we were told that the friend only we could see was imaginary, is a challenge. Yet we can make it much easier on ourselves.

Letting the experiences happen is the start. Being open to the fact that our beliefs and world view will be challenged. reserving judgement. Going in search of more experiences to see if the same thing happens again. Letting our intuitive ability surface. Trusting that there is a bigger picture we can’t see yet. All of these will make the shift into acknowledging your Lightworker status much easier. Then you can get on with the Lightwork you agreed to do before you came into being human. Finally, you can enjoy having a purpose in life, a reason d’être, an adventure. I wish you good fortune in your journey!

Day 68 of my blogging challenge.

Pedestal Not Required

images-44One of the challenges of being a one eyed king in the kingdom of the blind is that the ego starts to believe all of it’s own hype. For a lot of the time I try my best to be invisible whilst I’m working because it is very easy, as a human being, to start to think that I matter more than the messages and work that I do. It’s also easy to go too much the other way and stop myself from being noticed because the ego is busy working on self-sabotage. Working with abilities that are often portrayed as ‘woo woo’, ‘weird’ or fakery you have to build up a resilience to taking yourself much too seriuosly.

Today I had a long conversation about why I make myself available to teach people about mediumship & spirituality. I have to say that the idea of being a teacher of anything originally brought up a lot of resistance in me. I couldn’t accept that I had enough knowledge to teach anything to anyone. My ego played into my lack of confidence & self esteem bringing up lots of times when I had failed to get the info across to someone I was supposed to be teaching. My Guides kept telling me that I could help people learn about their own abilities but I kept dragging my heels about launching my own workshops & classes.

I kept going to other people’s workshops & classes, read as many books as I could afford to buy and listened to lots of mediums and psychics talk about developing their abilities. However I didn’t feel like all this research was helping me shift the resistance. Here is where the Guides got clever. They drifted a book across my path for me to read. Only the introduction though! I didn’t actually purchase the book and read it until a considerable time later. The book was Osho’s ‘The Chakra Book: Energy and Healing Power of the Subtle Body’. I opened the introduction and read


Is knowledge about esoteric subjects such as chakras, collective unconsciousness, energy fields, really helpful along the way or not? Or will whatever is needed come to me through experience, in it’s own time?


Anything that is needed will come of it’s own accord, in it’s own time. All this so-called esoteric knowledge about chakras, energy fields, kundalini, astral bodies, is dangerous as knowledge. As an experience, it is a totally different thing. Don’t acquire it as knowledge. If it is needed for your spiritual growth, it will come to you in it’s right time, and then it will be an experience.

Reading that question and answer I realised that what I did have a lot of was experiences relating to my  spiritual journey and how I developed my mediumship. I also had a lot of experience of counselling vulnerable people, building trust and applying an ethical framework to what I did. At last I understood that my teaching was all about being able to explain the experiences people were having by reference to the questions my journey had posed for me. I could support them whilst they processed the knowledge they had gained about themselves and the world through their experiences. And I could offer a different point of view, a possible explanation or a framework within which they might make some more sense of their experience.

I also had a lot of experience about the ego work involved in undertaking a spiritual journey into awareness. My life has been full of ego traps – too much or too little of all sorts of things and the wobbly way I had managed to find a balance. When you stand up and say you are a teacher, or a medium for that matter, there is immediately an ethical question. Do you think that you have all the answers, or the only way to do something, or that there is knowledge that only you should have? It’s tempting to put or allow yourself to be put on a shelf as if on display like a trophy. It’s tempting to  be moved to a higher and still higher shelf. Each time you are moved it’s as if you are being ‘polished’ – acknowledged as valuable – by other people’s regard. At some point people start to take what you say as the only truth there is. They might not wish to go out and have the experiences themselves to bring about their own learning. Since you have already had the experiences what better than to follow your ‘truth’.

My grandmother always used to say ‘Pride goes before a fall’. It took me many painful experiences to realise the inner truth of that saying. Being on a higher & higher shelf you can eventually be placed on a pedestal. Every word you say is analysed, discussed and dissected. When your ‘wisdom’ fails to answer the problems that someone else is experiencing you can find that you are being knocked or pulled off that pedestal. Your ego has led you to believe in your own power and influence. You have forgotten that you are in that high position only because others have placed you there. The route into being a ‘reluctant’ teacher is humility. A desire to be as clear as possible and the patience of a saint are useful too (I’m still working on the patience challenge). You must want the best for your students even if they can’t yet see what is the best for them.

I feel it’s time to redraw our definition of teaching. Sharing experiences to support someone else who is having experiences so they can grow as a person is what it’s really about. Really good teachers look forward to the day when their student says ‘I can do it for myself’. They can allow the student to challenge the master. They encourage the student to walk away to find new experiences and opportunities for growth. Then a good teacher will sit back, smile and wait for the student to return. Think about the teacher who inspired you the most. Were they like that?

Day 67 of my blogging challenge.