Over Thinking And Not Doing

One of the gifts of being human is thought. We are a thinking species. Overlaying our feelings is this magical process of interpretation that goes on all the time.

Thinking is our way of learning. Observing the repetition of experiences and developing patterns of response. Then being able to anticipate and create different actions to modify those experiences. Thinking is an awesome talent. At any level. Because it can take the feelings information and translate it into memory and meaning. But that’s where I feel it can come unstuck. I turned into an over thinker. I had to look at situations and consider them from every possible angle. Especially if a repeat experience was likely to make me feel more uncomfortable feelings. Or to put me on the receiveing end of uncomfortable feelings from others.

I found a while ago that I had developed an aversion to uncomfortable feelings.¬†Anger, sadness, fear, anxiety. And many more. Simply because I wanted to avoid any conflict. The fall out from those feelings brought guilt, self doubt, blame and unhappiness. Instead I began checking out what I was thinking and stopped doing. Until I got myself all tied up and paralysed by indecision. I wanted everyone to walk away happy from every conversation, action or experience. But I’d forgotten that life isn’t really like that. There is always light and shade. Not taking action actually created as much conflict as getting on with doing.

Sitting at the back of my mind was the judge. And it wasn’t until I noticed her that I began to stop thinking.

Intuitive information comes through feelings. It’s not a thought thing at all. Even if I do think about something I’ve done or said afterwards. When I’m channelling the information through from the Energy Beings it emerges in what I feel. Because I’m in an altered state of consciousness. A not thinking state. As I experienced this different way of relating to myself I could see the part of me that was always ready to say I’d got it wrong. Or done something wrong. Or hadn’t done it well enough. Pulling this part of me out into the daylight let me see how often it had influenced me into over thinking.

Because I wanted to escape being judged I would analyse, review and revisit my decisions again and again. Never actually putting any of them into practice. Scared of being an idiot. Or so I thought. Frightened of offending someone, some law, some rule. I saw how much time I spent trying to back up my decisions with ‘fact’. What a waste of time. No wonder experiences were passing me by. Life was slow and heavy. I had made it so. The judge took some defeating. Learning to be spontaneous again was actually harder than it sounds. I persisted in challenging the judge. Over thinking is not the way for me to live. Getting into my feelings again took time. Yet with a recognition that I wanted to change my approach to thinking I got better at doing. Felling a prompt then following it through.

I’m not completely free of over thinking. Every now and then echos of old experiences throw me back into too much analysis. The judge is quieter but still trying to have her say. I only listen after doing though. And love myself enough to remember that judgement is something for the Afterlife. Not for today.

Day 494 of my blogging challenge.

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