There was a moment today when I asked myself who do I follow? I was sitting in the sunshine thinking about the last conversation I’d had. Reflecting on the fear factor in our lives.

It’s as if I want to stay on my hamster wheel when all the Guides are reminding me that I have stepped off many times before. Yet fear still seems to pull me back to old patterns. So much has changed about my life over the years. Sitting enjoying a coffee this afternoon I realised that I have been to the lowest point in life and all the way back. So what is that fear about? What pattern do I still follow that makes me want to be uncomfortably stuck? That’s when I wondered about who was directing my life. Is it really me? Or am I doing what I’m told by others?

In times of fear people seek what they see as a strong leader. They trust the words they hear and ignore the actions. I know that the patterns I follow are derived from the ideas and expectation of the people around me. Yet whilst I am doing what they say are they following their own words? Are they taking the action they are suggesting for me? That’s particularly important to think about at the moment. Not least because we are busy picking our leaders. Am I reacting to my fear? Do I place my trust in others to solve my problems? Or do I realise that I am the only one who can change my life?

I also thought about the way I use words to describe my life. Do I speak in a fearful or can’t do way? Do my affirmations follow a positive pattern? Or am I creating a negative wave of energy instead?

My inner world will manifest in the outer world. What are my thoughts like? Do I show the Universe I mean what I say so that anything I am wishing for can manifest? If I say I want to have a better income flow am I doing anything to help that along. Or am I just sitting wishing? Telling myself that it could never happen to me? So I’m actually not bothering to do anything. Wallowing in low vibrational energy and not following on my thoughts with actions. Isn’t it the case that actions speak louder than words? I’ve always believed that. Though I admit to not always letting action follow my words.

There is a new phase coming in. Not long now before we get more energy to blast us forward. But the key is to sort out who I follow. Do I trust myself enough to know that my heart will get my actions right? Or do I blindly follow anyone who seems to have the strongest voice? I’m determined to live my life as fully as possible. I want to follow my dream and make my life have meaning. In the end I really know the answer. Not only do I have to say what I mean to do – I also have to deliver on those words. And I want to be off the hamster wheel for ever.

So I know my answer. I’m going to follow me. Because I am the strongest person in my life. And always have been.

Day 538 of my blogging challenge