Communicating With Yourself First Opens The Door

communicatingI’ve been thinking about my journey into mediumship today. And how communicating with non-physical beings sort of crept up on me. Bit by bit. Quite a lot of the time I was unaware of one of the ways that the door to their realm could be opened. Instead I seemed to spend quite a lot of my time talking to myself.

Communicating with myself is, of course, something I’ve done all of my life. Billions of thoughts have crossed my mind. Information about feelings and sensations. Plans, dreams, fears and hopes. Worries of all kinds. Discussions of the right and wrong of any action. All of the analysis I have done to find meaning in my life. It’s all been there. It feels like a constant chatter that only switches down when I am asleep. But even in sleep the communication continues. My brain is never really silent. Yet in amongst all of that activity there were also messages and information from my Guides. However it took me a long time to find it because of all the other stuff filling my head.

Communicating with Guides became a lot easier once I started to deal with the chatter in my head. Not by shutting it up. But by listening to it and sorting it out. It’s amazing how many worries I had that were unlikely to happen. How many fears I allowed to run riot and shove me into defensive actions. All sorts of meaning that I had decided mattered to me. So that I was stuck in trying to achieve far too much. I realised that my thoughts were out of balance. Too many should, musts and oughts. A mind full of things to restrict or limit me. And I realised I had been carrying all of these for far too long. So I started to let them go. To deal with them. And to answer myself in positive ways.

Communicating with my deeper self also helped me to make some space to recognise the thoughts that belonged with others. Because there were plenty of these. Judgements, advice, instructions and rules I had taken on. And there, right in the middle of this muddle was the loving, encouraging and supportive energy of my Guides. Waiting to help me open a completely new door. I stepped through, never looking back. Is it time for you to find your new door too?

Day 961 of my blogging challenge

A Matter Of Discipline: New Patterns For Old

matterI’ve had several discussions today about why discipline is important. Why it’s a matter we should all be concerned about. Although I know it can be hard to see that it does concern all of us when there are disagreements about what the word means in the first place.

The dictionary definition of discipline is a) the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behaviour, using punishment to correct disobedience, and b) a branch of knowledge, typically one studied in higher education. I actually find that fascinating. Discipline ties into punishment and also into knowledge. Does it matter that these seem to be rather opposed to each other? Do I learn better when I am punished for getting it wrong? Or not understanding? How did these two ideas become linked together in this way? When I was growing up discipline was certainly about punishment for doing wrong. The schools I attended had all sorts of not always logical rules about my behaviour. Then in University I studied a discipline in order to get my degree. I often wonder if that was self-punishment of a kind.

When I finished my degree I realise the paper actually didn’t matter to me. I had learned more about myself than perhaps I had of the subject. Even though it was one I loved. Recalling this today I realised that I have spent quite a chunk of the last few years learning to be disciplined. Not because I wished to learn a subject. Or because I wanted to punish myself. Because I want to have new patterns and way of being. I want to approach my life in a different way. That is the heart of the matter. Applying discipline to my life means that I honour my authentic self. I work more professionally. I am mindful of the energy exchanges that I enter into. And I make sure that I can balance my work and leisure in a positive way. For me self-discipline has been a positive accomplishment.

Does discipline matter in the wider world?

I feel it is important to work out as human beings what we really mean by discipline. Punishment often creates the wrong flow of energy. Bitterness, resentment, physical hurt and emotional damage matter. These are all possible when punishment is the focal point of learning to live by an agreed set of rules. I am disappointed that we crown upward of fourteen hundred teenagers together in a school and try to impose order on all of that energetic chaos by punishments. Or that the rules of communities and nations cut across the rights of other people to live peaceably. To me it’s a matter of teaching our children and young people the benefit of self-discipline. Not by harsh or cruel acts. But I feel I have to set the example by being able to show self-discipline first. Otherwise why would any child do the same?

There it is. Another heart of the matter. Unless I can apply some rules to myself how can I really expect anyone else to apply rules to themselves. When I worked in a drug and alcohol support unit I saw parents bemused by the consequences of their children’s drug misuse. What the parents failed to notice was their own alcohol misuse. When they asked all the why questions about drug misuse I found it so hard to explain the similarities to them. Discipline starts from within. Setting an example of positive and loving behaviour towards myself. I have had to learn to control my impulses. Especially when I want to act in ways that compromise my wellbeing. What I choose to do matters. So I choose wisely. And try to help others make wise choices too.

I’m sure the debate about rules and discipline will go on for some time to come. I know there are patterns that desperately need to be changed. If only we could all understand that future generations are affected by how we apply self-didipline right now. It’s long past time to let discipline become a matter of study and education rather than one concerning punishment. Is it time for you to be more self-disciplined ins your life?

Day 937 of my blogging challenge

Debating What To Do For The Best

debatingI love debating all sorts of things. It’s something I’ve done all of my life. Probably part of the reason why I procrastinate too. Because I want to hear all sides of the debate. And seek out a clear understanding of the issues. Since my Guides stepped in I also want to hear their take on it too.

I suppose one of the biggest surprises that I got when I started to communicate with my Guides was that they can’t tell me what to do. I have to use my own free will. To the best of my ability. In order that I arrive at a course of action that comes from my heart and ethics. I have to say I debated that with them for a long time. Surely, I thought, they were there to help me get things right? But I soon came to understand that debating the best course of action for me was so that I would make the choice. And be responsible for the consequences of that choice. Even if I had to learn a lesson by making a choice with consequences that affected other people in a way I didn’t like.

What mattered, they explained, was that the debating should happen. That I should think very carefully about every thought, word and action. To check that it was the best I could do, in the circumstances as I understood them. If there were unexpected consequences, which there usually are, I would consider more carefully next time. And if there were consequences I could see but ignored, once again, I could make a better decision next time. I’ve stuck with this now for many years. In fact I know my Guides were trying to help my debating long before we had regular communication. They helped me to try to work out my ethics. My rules for living.

Debating is only useful if it encompasses feelings, thoughts and beliefs. There is no point me hiding myself from me. When I am trying to work out what to do for the best I also have to understand my motivations and the bias I am applying.

It’s very easy in a time of ‘me, me’ and Ego Mind to loose sight of other people. I know the temptations of making decisions coming only from my needs and not from what all of us need. If I drift off into that state I only have to look around at what people are mirroring back to me. Because they will be considering only themselves in any debate. My Guides say all Guides work with all of us to try to shift the ‘me, me’ as much as possible. They try to introduce empathy, authenticity and self-awareness. But, of course, not everyone is at the point of recognising themselves yet. I understand this. I know I didn’t want to look at my shadow side. Or acknowledge it’s power and influence on me.

Yet I am glad I did. I started a debate with myself once I looked inside. Because I wanted to act from a heart centred, unconditional love perspective. That’s hard. I know we are trained to limit our love for ourselves. And therefore for others. So I had a long, sometimes exhausting time debating with myself. But it was worth it. I know I work from the best bits of me. My choices may not suit others but I am in alignment with my principles. I do believe in authenticity, empathy and self-awareness. The actions I take are based on ‘First do no harm’ with the understanding that my definition of ‘harm’ may not fit someone else’s understanding.

It is their choice to join in debating a shared understanding between us. But if they don’t ask I don’t explain either.

I am very aware that I can’t please all of the people all of the time. I freely admit that I don’t try to please anyone. Except myself. Debating with my Guides I realised that trying to do the best thing as measured by other people was a thankless task. Everyone has a different view of what the best is. I don’t have to look far to see that acted out at local, national or global levels. There is so much debate about what is best. Yet no debate about the beliefs backing up the arguments. Or the self-awareness to admit a vested interest in one outcome or another. So people stay on the defensive. Or, worse still, launch into an attack as if that will gain more agreement.

This lack of authenticity in the debates we are having currently means we will still act from Ego. In other words, our actions will be driven by fear not kindness. Or a recognition of shared humanity. No wonder my Guides keep on at me to write and speak about unconditional love. That is the only way to navigate through all the debating. The only way for me and you to be sure that our actions do not create consequences we don’t want to have come back. That’s the secret the Guides know. When we send out fear responses all we get back is fear. I have had that return of energy. Now I work within myself to send out unconditional love.

My choices are grounded in tough love. Grown up love. Love that knows how we treat others will come back on us. I understand that people find it easier to say ‘with love’ than to actually follow through on doing with love. I let it be. The lesson being learned isn’t mine. It’s theirs. And I also remember that there are many, many strands to a debate. Many truths. Many opinions. I follow my heart on the spiritual path as that feels honest and ┬áloving. I hope you can too.

Day 822 of my blogging challenge


imageI’m starting today’s blog thinking about self-awareness. I have done several readings for people and a Reiki Refresh group at the Centre. Those activities got me pondering how much we know our true selves. Of course there are always parts of ourself we hide away, forget or don’t even know about. But I wonder how often we choose to go looking for them.

What came up from my Guides as I worked was a reminder of a question I used to ask a lot. My need was to understand who I am. The question was Why do I have low and high energy vibrations and does it matter? That took me back to my training when I wanted to be a counsellor. We were encouraged to keep a reflective journal so we could identify anything that might be causing us resistance, or to make judgements, or to help us recognise thoughts and feelings we hadn’t noticed. We were expected to analyse our journal entries as if we had been the counselling client. We were teasing out our ‘client’s’ world view so that we could respond in ways ┬áthat would resolve any stuck issues. This process would help us to become more self-aware about values, beliefs and judgements that might get in the way of an effective counselling relationship.

When I began working with my Guides to develop my mediumship they also encouraged me to keep a reflective journal so that I could help myself observe my own mediumship development. In the same way I had in counsellor training, I needed to approach my connections with Spirits with a clear understanding of my values, beliefs and judgements. If I didn’t then the energy connection we made would be ‘contaminated’ by my own feelings & thoughts. I might make assumptions that were not correct or interpret a message in a way that had meaning to me but wasn’t actually what the Spirit person meant at all. Both my counselling and my mediumship have, in built, a requirement to be self-aware if I want to do the best I can for others.

Becoming self-aware can be anything but straightforward. It means really examining the thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions you have. It means finding a way to detach from yourself and embrace all that you find out about yourself. It means taking off the masks you wear one by one and learning to live with the most authentic you that you can stand. It is worthwhile though. When I began that second period of self-awareness work with the help of my Guides I was, admittedly, surprised to find lots of admirable and courageous parts of me. There were, of course, some parts of me I wasn’t happy with at all. I saw the need to change some of my patterns of being so that I could be more authentically me. And I also saw how much progress I had made from the very early days of my counselling training.

As the self-awareness work unfolded my Guides also made sure to remind me that I had to be self-aware of my human self and also of my Spirit self. Understanding one half on me wasn’t enough. I had to integrate my authentic Spirit self with my human self so that the higher vibrational Spirit energy could be transmitted out through my human self. So that I would be a Spirit wearing human clothes, not a human with a tiny spark of Spirit behind my eyes.

We have a great capacity to help one another. That capacity is reduced if we forget or don’t acknowledge our spirituality. However, saying that we are spiritual is never enough. We have to feel, think and act as our Spirit self would. If we never discover our authentic Spirit self or even our human self we are not yet on a spiritual path. No matter how many times we tell ourselves & everyone else that we are. If you want to make deeper connections with yourself, other people, with your life get a pen & paper and meet your true self.

Day 81 of my blogging challenge.