Other people's expectations Archives - Annie ConboyAnnie Conboy

Here’s another interesting though that surfaces every time Mercury is retrograde. Am I doing my duty? Have I cluttered up my life with too many should, must and ought limitations? Or am I finally free to do what is best for me?

My life is circumscribed by expectations. The expectations of others. And those that I impose on myself. yet some of those expectations are really the opposite of what I feel or think. That’s where a sense of duty can trip me up. The idea that I am responsible to others for their expectations of me. That to fall short of what they expect is some kind of big crime. Like I am not being perfect enough. Yet when I think about all of the shoulds, musts and oughts I have taken on in my life it’s no wonder I ran around like a headless chicken for so long. Or that it has taken me years to blast through the restrictions of these SMOD’s. Layer on layer of behaviour, responsibility and judgement that has weighed down my ability to be my authentic self.

All of these have kept me on a treadmill. Although I have stepped off time after time. It’s as if the power of duty, the call of it to be responsible for others, has some sort of seductive force. Because I’ve got back on the treadmill loads of times too. I know it is the power of belief. Me believing I should, must and ought to be the best kind of woman, daughter, wife, sister, mother, co worker. And on and on endlessly. Whilst the goalposts shift around with impressive speed so that I never quite make the grade. Once again this pass of Mercury apparently running backward has got me looking at the treadmill I’m currently on. I’m checking in with my expectations. Are they set to positive and authentic values. Or am I still listening to the expectations I got from others?

Sometimes it takes a bit of a jolt to get my attention. Bumping my car yesterday was one of those moments. In a weekend of strange and weird moments this was one that really got me thinking.

Of course, when I looked at some files this evening it all made perfect sense. But bumping into a wall was the key point for me to make a decision. I have to say it wasn’t a serious accident. I’ve had a bit of a stiff neck, shoulders and back today. And my car needs some cosmetic repairs. But the jolt of sliding into a stone wall certainly electrified my mind. For the rest of the day there was a little voice in there asking me how I wanted to spend the rest of my time on the Earth. A kind of invitation to check in with the direction my life was taking. With a view to making sure I was enjoying myself.

I had a good day with the Thin Places group. And a chance to stand on a high point to see things from a higher perspective. As well as recognising the fun of sharing my ideas with other people. When I got back to the office today I started pulling out the files I use to keep my work organised. One after another, like bumping into the wall again, I saw the titles bouncing me around again. They were activities I have wanted to do all year. All dated 2016. It’s taken me a year to get back to the focus I had when I made up the folders. But I’m coming back to them very much clearer where they fit in my bigger picture.

Because I’ve spent a year bumping into the bits of me that have held me back. All sorts of beliefs and values muddled in with doubts and fears.

Yesterday gave me a chance to think about my work. And ask myself again why I do certain things. Especially if I’m not really passionate about them. I know it can be hard to let go of what I feel I should, must, ought or have a duty to do. Yet I also know that often those SMOD’s are the needs and demands of others. Not my own. The last year has been about releasing myself from other people’s expectations. Because I have to be able to do what fits for me. Rather than try to fit with what fits for others. That way leaves me bumping against their interpretation of my life. And how they think I should live it. Not in a nasty way. But because that’s what we tend to do to each other.

Placing conditions on what is given and received. Stepping back over the last few days I’ve been able to appreciate that conditionality. And to choose to remove the barriers to what I require or desire in my life. Now it’s full steam ahead for Embrace Intuitive Mentoring and my writing. There is even a little space left for my painting. Out go the groups and workshops of the last ten years. Although there will be a little online teaching work for part of 2018. The folders are ready. I’m ready. All that remains is the tidying up of loose ends and clearing of space. Although I know that will be made much easier because I am ready to make the changes I need in my life. So the Universe will make sure it unfolds in exactly the way it needs to.

Bumping the car reminded me not to waste the time and energy I have. It gave me something immediate to focus on. In the moment my sub-conscious mind made a string of decisions. And confirmed my intuitions of 12 months ago. Time to drive a new route!

Day 658 of my blogging challenge

Annie Conboy

Down 2 Earth in everything she does!

Tag Archives: Other people’s expectations

Duty Calls: Removing Should, Must, Ought and Duty

Here’s another interesting though that surfaces every time Mercury is retrograde. Am I doing my duty? Have I cluttered up my life with too many should, must and ought limitations? Or am I finally free to do what is best for me?

Bumping Into A New Direction At Last

Sometimes it takes a bit of a jolt to get my attention. Bumping my car yesterday was one of those moments. In a weekend of strange and weird moments this was one that really got me thinking.

Because I’ve spent a year bumping into the bits of me that have held me back. All sorts of beliefs and values muddled in with doubts and fears.

Bumping the car reminded me not to waste the time and energy I have. It gave me something immediate to focus on. In the moment my sub-conscious mind made a string of decisions. And confirmed my intuitions of 12 months ago. Time to drive a new route!