I’m doing an early blog today. Tonight I am leaving Orkney so I may not get chance to be online on the ferry. It’s been an interesting process of discovery. Discovering a deeper peace.
Visiting the ancient sites has reminded me very forcefully how little human beings have actually changed. What I want out of my life seems to be the same as the people from so long ago. To live peacefully a full life. To enjoy the fruits of my work. And to see my child grow up to a life of her own. Leaving aside the natural challenges of life – illness, times of famine, lack of water and shelter – the people here seem to have lived that peaceful exsistence. Until it was time for these people to leave their sites. There is no information as to why. But in leaving they also gave us some interesting puzzles to unlock.
I wonder what people will think of our exsistence in a couple of thousand years. Will my legacy to my daughter’s children be lost somewhere down the line? Will I and everyone alive now become a puzzle to the humans of the future? Especially if technology fails and records perish. Leaving behind the drinks cans, plastic bags and remains of the steel in our skyscrapers. What will be made of this time? I hope my desire for peace for all will be delivered. Because that ensures humanity continues. I believe it may also help us to evolve beyond the point we are currently at. How would it be to be peaceable for a thousand years?
That’s the hope I have been reminded of this week. Leaving Orkney I’m taking with me a sense of continuity. Life really does continue no matter what.
That thought has also been challenging my inner world. I feel I will be leaving behind something else when I go. Watching the cruise ships and ferrys dock and leave I’ve been thinking about the way I transport my fear around with me. I know it’s hard to admit, even when on holiday, that I might still be worrying something over in my mind. But it’s true. I feel it’s what most of us do. My conditioning about what is ok or not ok keeps tripping me up. Letting myself relax when there are future bills to be paid keeps catching me. How strange. Because I have no need of this pattern. One thing I do know is that my life will go on bills or no.
Yet it seemed, when I was chatting to others, that we all seem to share the challenge of stepping back. Some of the people from the cruise ships wanted to pack in as much as they could. They didn’t want to waste time or money. Because taking time out seems like shirking a responsibility. Leaving everything aside seemed to be hard for them to do. Yet they told me that they enjoyed rushing from place to place. Taking photos for when they got home. Half and hour for this place. An hour for that. I felt their pace was fast and furious. Not at all peaceful. What will they really remember? Would it be peace?
Our ancestors in the Neolithic times worked when they had to and rested in the seasons when they couldn’t. Will the people of the future go back to that pattern? I’ve been working on inner peace. Stripping away another layer of conditioning. Leaving behind more fear.
Day 604 of my blogging challenge
We are coming to the end of five years where the energy has been all about facing our fears. Bit by bit we have been asked to look at what we worry about most in our lives. It’s been an inner journey so that we can eventually produce an outer change.
For some time I’ve been picking up the incoming energy feed. I know that there is going to be another great shift in 2017. In the transition from old patterns into a new global community of humanity there is a lot of stuckness to be recognised and faced head on. Holding my inner self steady as I’ve worked through my fears has been a balancing act. One where I have wobbled a lot. Because letting the fears surface and be dealt with is hard. I have buried some so deep it’s been like a mining expedition to get them to the surface. Yet they have to be released from me. Otherwise I will be caught in the same old same old when the new energy hits.
I don’t want to miss out on any opportunities that are coming my way. I certainly don’t want to have to wait for them to come around again. So I’ve been focused on exploring my inner world for the past five years. It’s certainly been a revelation. I never quite understood how much of my behaviour was conditioned or limited by others. It seems I wasn’t used to letting other peoples opinions of me matter far too much. No wonder I found at times that I was surrounded by judgements, negativity or controlling behaviour. So it’s been a challenge for me to recognise I manifested that into my life.
I know we all want to feel like we belong. Sometimes we want to belong so much that we find ourselves trying to keep others happy at our own expense. Inner happiness can be hard to accept in a world where what seems to matter is outward appearance.
Yet the last five years have been all about noticing my outward world. Then working out if it reflects my inner world. Of course, when I realised it didn’t match what I wished for myself I was on notice that I had to change. Perhaps not outwardly at first. But I had to find ways of doing things differently. Manifesting or the law of attraction or cosmic ordering. They all follow the same universal rule of cause and effect. Or, as I like to put it, what you give out you get back. I’ve finally stopped rescuing people or situations. I make a point of treating myself well and putting my needs first. Being open to receive I expect nothing but the flow of abundance. In being ready to receive, and doing so at every opportunity, my inner world is all about being loving and compassionate to myself.
As I’ve learned, if I am able to feel that way inside then I am genuinely able to give that same energy out to others. In 2017 I expect to receive so much. But the best part of that is it means I will be able to give so much more outwardly. My inner and outer worlds will balance. However, I’m still a work in progress. I haven’t got the balance yet. This morning I was sitting having one of my ‘weekend’ days. Time for me not work. But there was still a niggle in the back of my mind. A list of all the things I still had to do. A sense that I ought to rush into work and do them. Never mind the 10 or 12 hour days from the previous week. Get the work done.
I resisted that urge. It was time to hold out for a day that gave me a chance to relax. So I met some friends for coffee and enjoyed much needed down time.
Resisiting the pull of work – the fear of leaving things undone – reminded me how far I have progressed. There are still some strong energy waves to come in this year. They will be surfacing more fears and stuck patterns. For all of us. World events reflect this too. Whilst we are being shaken loose of our fears there will be a lot of negativity around. I’m focused on holding the balance within myself. If I remain positive within then I can help that energy to manifest in my outer world too. Whatever fear arises we can all contribute to a fearless outcome. When you pay attention to your inner world you will be doing the best thing you can to ensure that you are living in a positive outer world. Go gently through the remainder of 2016 ?
Day 339 of my blogging challenge.
What an interesting 13th it’s been. I’ve arrived in Tenerife for a bit of time for myself. I’m looking forward to writing, drawing and processing my year so far.
It’s much nicer to be able to do it away from my normal things. That’s why I’m going to travel as far as I can this week. Not just away from my daily routine but also into my inner world. I realised this when I was sitting on the bus going the long way round the island to my lodgings. There is a shorter route from the airport but I had been advised to take certain buses. So I did. Yet sometimes the longest way is the shortest in the end. As I toured around I got some fab views of Mount Teide both from the sunshine of the shore and the clouds of the mountains.
The last time I was in Tenerife was with my youngest brother many, many years ago. I had no idea then that I would tumble into a world of spirituality. That started me thinking about my year so far. My Guides must have been wondering why I was meandering around all over the place instead of getting on with what I’m here to do. The clouds kept attracting my attention even when I was trying my hardest to focus on the sunny side of the street. And it all depends on what place I’m standing in, looking at the events of this year. Do I want to focus on the issues that needed clearing – much like those clouds this evening? Or do I want to notice that up above the clouds the sun still shines. That was certainly true on the plane.
As I travel through my experiences over the next few days I want to look at the sunbeams. Those flecks of light will help me illuminate my inner wisdom and highlight where I have grown.
It will also be interesting to see where I have dawdled, how I have gone off track and where I have zoomed ahead. Using these insights will help me be ready for the next phase of travel when it pops up. We are all travelling through life. I believe that to go as far as we can it’s important to retreat and reflect. Once I have done that any mountains, long roads and short cuts will be easier to handle because I will know I can. Perhaps that’s the best thing to emerge when I spend time thinking about what has happened to me. I know that it shows me how, when and why I coped. It reminds me that I have to enjoy the journey, keep travelling and have an adventure.
Day 303 of my blogging challenge.