Debating What To Do For The Best

debatingI love debating all sorts of things. It’s something I’ve done all of my life. Probably part of the reason why I procrastinate too. Because I want to hear all sides of the debate. And seek out a clear understanding of the issues. Since my Guides stepped in I also want to hear their take on it too.

I suppose one of the biggest surprises that I got when I started to communicate with my Guides was that they can’t tell me what to do. I have to use my own free will. To the best of my ability. In order that I arrive at a course of action that comes from my heart and ethics. I have to say I debated that with them for a long time. Surely, I thought, they were there to help me get things right? But I soon came to understand that debating the best course of action for me was so that I would make the choice. And be responsible for the consequences of that choice. Even if I had to learn a lesson by making a choice with consequences that affected other people in a way I didn’t like.

What mattered, they explained, was that the debating should happen. That I should think very carefully about every thought, word and action. To check that it was the best I could do, in the circumstances as I understood them. If there were unexpected consequences, which there usually are, I would consider more carefully next time. And if there were consequences I could see but ignored, once again, I could make a better decision next time. I’ve stuck with this now for many years. In fact I know my Guides were trying to help my debating long before we had regular communication. They helped me to try to work out my ethics. My rules for living.

Debating is only useful if it encompasses feelings, thoughts and beliefs. There is no point me hiding myself from me. When I am trying to work out what to do for the best I also have to understand my motivations and the bias I am applying.

It’s very easy in a time of ‘me, me’ and Ego Mind to loose sight of other people. I know the temptations of making decisions coming only from my needs and not from what all of us need. If I drift off into that state I only have to look around at what people are mirroring back to me. Because they will be considering only themselves in any debate. My Guides say all Guides work with all of us to try to shift the ‘me, me’ as much as possible. They try to introduce empathy, authenticity and self-awareness. But, of course, not everyone is at the point of recognising themselves yet. I understand this. I know I didn’t want to look at my shadow side. Or acknowledge it’s power and influence on me.

Yet I am glad I did. I started a debate with myself once I looked inside. Because I wanted to act from a heart centred, unconditional love perspective. That’s hard. I know we are trained to limit our love for ourselves. And therefore for others. So I had a long, sometimes exhausting time debating with myself. But it was worth it. I know I work from the best bits of me. My choices may not suit others but I am in alignment with my principles. I do believe in authenticity, empathy and self-awareness. The actions I take are based on ‘First do no harm’ with the understanding that my definition of ‘harm’ may not fit someone else’s understanding.

It is their choice to join in debating a shared understanding between us. But if they don’t ask I don’t explain either.

I am very aware that I can’t please all of the people all of the time. I freely admit that I don’t try to please anyone. Except myself. Debating with my Guides I realised that trying to do the best thing as measured by other people was a thankless task. Everyone has a different view of what the best is. I don’t have to look far to see that acted out at local, national or global levels. There is so much debate about what is best. Yet no debate about the beliefs backing up the arguments. Or the self-awareness to admit a vested interest in one outcome or another. So people stay on the defensive. Or, worse still, launch into an attack as if that will gain more agreement.

This lack of authenticity in the debates we are having currently means we will still act from Ego. In other words, our actions will be driven by fear not kindness. Or a recognition of shared humanity. No wonder my Guides keep on at me to write and speak about unconditional love. That is the only way to navigate through all the debating. The only way for me and you to be sure that our actions do not create consequences we don’t want to have come back. That’s the secret the Guides know. When we send out fear responses all we get back is fear. I have had that return of energy. Now I work within myself to send out unconditional love.

My choices are grounded in tough love. Grown up love. Love that knows how we treat others will come back on us. I understand that people find it easier to say ‘with love’ than to actually follow through on doing with love. I let it be. The lesson being learned isn’t mine. It’s theirs. And I also remember that there are many, many strands to a debate. Many truths. Many opinions. I follow my heart on the spiritual path as that feels honest and  loving. I hope you can too.

Day 822 of my blogging challenge

Dear Spirit, When Will My Dream Come True?

Dear spiritI often find myself asking ‘Dear Spirit, when will my dream come true?’ Usually when what I’m wishing for seems as far away as ever.

And I know this is a popular question for people who have readings. They ask me to find out when their lives will improve. Or when they will be happy. Even when they can stop worrying about this or that. Of course it’s hard for me to have to explain that the loved ones in Spirit don’t give timescales every time. Especially not when the timescale is about something the sitter hold dear. But I know this from my own experience too. It’s tempting to ask my family members to give me a sign, a date or a month. Because when life has turned upside down all I want to know is that it will be ok again very soon. And if there is something I want I’m not the most patient of people. So I can pester for signs. Keep asking to be told. And find myself getting nothing at all.

It’s taken my loved ones in Spirit a while to help me see that the timescales are all down to me. In fact I often hear the response ‘Dear Annie, when would you like to make it happen?’ I guess I forget that I have free will. And making those dreams a reality is all about me taking action. If I don’t take the steps towards what I want is it any wonder I don’t get it. So in a reading a Spirit person may give all kinds of sound suggestions. Even potential timescales or dates. Yet if I sit back and wait for it to happen it never will. Often it’s also about changing the inside of my head. A dream can’t turn up if I don’t believe it will. Of if I think I’m not worth what I want. Sometimes I’ve even run in the opposite direction and self-sabotaged my dreams.

And there is nothing my loved ones can do. Except keep on loving, encouraging and messaging me. That’s key thing. They love me whether I get my dream now, next week or next year. And will love me even if I never get my dream. They will always tell me I am dear to them. So they remind me to keep on dreaming. And to keep on trying to live my dreams.

Day 688 of my blogging challenge 

Free Will Does Come First

There are days when I can’t tune in. Even with Tarot, pendulum or divining rods. Fortunately not too many. But it often boils down to free will.

When I set out on my journey into Awareness and Mediumship I though that my Guides would never be away from my door. I thought they would be trying to control my every move, thought and choice. First I had a bit of a rant at them. I told them I wouldn’t take kindly to being told what to do. It’s that rebel in my head. She sounds off at any chance. Sometimes attacking first without waiting for the bigger picture to emerge. Or at least she used to. My Guides seemed to find my rants rather amusing. They laughed quite a bit at the idea that they could make me do anything.

My Mum’s policy was to ask me to do the opposite of what she wanted. She knew I would always do what I thought ran counter to her wishes. So I ended up pretty much doing what she wanted until I finally figured it out. When my Guides reacted with amusement it made me stop and think. Were they using a tactic on me. At first trust is hard to build up with Spirits who you think are strangers. Even when your intuition is telling you that you know their energy signal. That it’s not the first time you have met. So I was cautious. I wanted to know why they found my resistance funny.

I now know that they were trying to teach me a very important first principle. The idea of free will.

Of course I had heard of free will. I also thought I had it until I stepped back and looked more closely at my life. Then I realised that a lot of my choices were influenced by the needs of other people. Perhaps I wasn’t doing what I chose after all. Yet free will doesn’t mean doing exactly what you like when you like. My Guides were quick to point out that what you give out you get back. My choice had to be filtered through an understanding of my intention. What would be achieved for me and others if I chose any particular option.

I know that my Guides were asking me to embrace a kind of thinking that meshes with my inner spiritual being. Hauling off and shouting angrily at someone might be my first free will choice. But that energy would be returned to me. Did I really want that? I guess the selfish bit of me certainly didn’t want a tide of anger coming back at me. Considering my free will more carefully from a self interested point of view in the beginning moved me into more questions about the nature of free will. Like why do we have it? If we really do have it.

That was another cause of gentle amusement for my Guides. They asked me to check how much free will I actually had.

I am a product of my personality as expressed through a particular time period. My experiences have shaped my beliefs and outlook. It’s impossible to divorce me from my nature and nurture. The amount of free will I express is restricted by that. Of course I can make choices to change my personality and background. Some of these efforts will succeed. My application of my free will alters too. However, it is certainly the work of a lifetime to match up free will and spirituality in action.

So I asked the obvious question. Why do I have the power to choose where I take my life but sometimes refuse, forget or decide not to use it? My Guides responded so lovingly when I asked this. They told me that my first purpose in exsisting was to be able to experience love and it’s absence. So that I could do that I had to be able to choose. My choices had to draw in or drive away the loving energy all around me. And I had to have an inner and outer world that my choices acted on. All actions have consequences. It is up to me whether I experience life as a blessing or a curse. Whether I search high and low for the love that is under my nose.

Very soon the new year will be here. I’ve been asking for guidance for myself. But it’s been very slow in coming. My Guides have reminded me that I have to choose. 2017 will be whatever kind of year I choose to make it. If it’s my choice then I know it;s going to be a good year. No matter what happens I will look at my free will choices very carefully to make sure I’m picking the best things I can for myself ?

Day 404 of my blogging challenge.

Meant to be?

EAAHeart4Meant to be? I hear this phrase a lot. People come to me saying ‘I meant to be’ or ‘it’s meant to be’. Sometimes they want a reading because they want to check if something is going to happen. Is it meant to be? they ask.

It’s an interesting question. I find myself using the same phrase often. When something happens that causes a wobble or is hard to deal with I slip into saying it was meant to be. Then I wonder about our free will and this idea that something was always going to happen a certain way. I’ve even bounced the debate to my Guides. How can we have free will if there is a fixed plan? Especially when I sometimes seem to make my life a struggle!

Another popular way of saying the same thing is what will be will be. My Guides remind me that every choice is mine. Even the being born and dying. If I’ve chosen to have a human life then I must also choose to have a human death. Nothing in this reality lasts for ever. Energy can only be held solid for a short while. So having chosen to come in I’m here to experience until the time to die arrives. In between I have the ability to choose nearly everything in my life. They say nearly everything because there are some things I don’t have a say over.

I have no control over other people’s choices. They have set their own arrival and departure dates. They will navigate the choices just like me. I’m not the only one with free will. There will also be a few things that are fixed. Again, everyone must die and I have to experience loss and grief. I will also experience love in all sorts of ways. What I do with or make of that love is up to me. There will also be a challenge I am working to overcome.

The challenge I’ve set myself will be one that helps my spiritual growth. Not because life is meant to be hard. No matter what choices I make the same ‘lesson’ will be in front of me until I choose the path through it.

My Guides say that this is the only significant ‘meant to be’ in my life. When something happens that seems to bring up the same issues and choices, no matter how it is disguised, it’s up to me to remember how I handled it the last time (or times). Then I can find another way of working with the challenge so that I overcome it. I know that looking at what will be will be issues that way has helped me to deal with my feelings and thought a lot better. Opening myself up to guidance (both inner and Energy Beings) has also improved the choices I’m making.

I know that we can all make informed choices if we take our decisions into our heart. My heart, the seat of my intuition, is better able to remember the choices I made before. Those choices have had an emotional impact on my heart. Listening to the promptings of my feelings, noticing if a choice makes me feel good or not, I can use my free will to steer me through anything. Putting my heart into my decisions is perhaps the real meant to be. It’s taken me most of my life to notice that. I hope you discover this sooner than me and live your life from your heart too.

Day 234 of my blogging challenge.