Measuring Progress: Remember The Good Stuff

MeasuringI’ve been thinking a lot today about the last five years. I suppose I’ve been measuring the effectiveness of what I’ve spent my time doing. Looking through the memories to see what  pings as something I’m happy to recall.

When I’m mentoring one of the things I like to do is make sure we can measure the progress someone is making. Because I know progress is something hard to see when I am in the middle of changes. So too for the mentees. If fact, it’s so easy to think or feel like you haven’t moved on at all. So closing the Centre, disposing of the material things associated with it, got me measuring what I had achieved. I started thinking about all the experiences I had whilst running it. And how I might decide if those experiences were worth it in some way. Then I found that I got focused on the things that hadn’t worked. Or been less than positive. Even disastrous. As if my Ego Mind wanted to present me with all the things that went wrong.

How interesting that I fell into that trap. I feel it’s one we all find hard to avoid. My mind seemed to have forgotten all the good stuff. All the thank you’s and well done’s that came my way. The success stories as people found a way out of the confusion in their lives. Measuring my life for the last five years by these standards makes for a a much better sense of progress than the things that didn’t work. I wondered if it was my tiny little streak of perfectionism jumping in again. I’ve reduced it’s influence quite a lot over the last five years. But perhaps I have more work to do on it. I suppose it could be my little desire to please others – rather than myself – making me feel a lack of progress. I’ve been working on that quality too. The last five years I’ve come a long way in knowing I have to please myself first. It could, of course, be the way I tend to let the judgements of others make me feel I haven’t done enough. Yet that tendency has almost disappeared too.

After I thought about it for a while I realised that a lot of things have changed for me. Measuring my progress means embracing that I do things my way much more. I trust my intuition to guide me and I stay in the flow of energy. Because I know that things will work well when I do. There is so much good stuff to remember. But most of all I can remember that I tried my best, did what I could and grew so much by having the Down 2 Earth Heart Centre.

Day 742 of my blogging challenge

Friendships Come And Go But Each Adds Value

friendshipsIt’s been a day of friendships. I had a closing down sale at my Centre because I have to move on to new work. So it was lovely to greet friends as they called in and shared a final cuppa in that space.

Sometimes friendships last a lifetime. Sometimes they don’t. I have been very lucky to have good friends around me all of my life. Not necessarily always the same friends. My life has taken me to several parts of the country, different homes and neighbourhoods and a variety of people. I’m always amazed at the way in which new friendships spring up wherever I am. Sometimes that means I have had to let go of old friendships. Or that they have reached a natural end for both of us. Yet I also know that each relationship has been a part of my growth and expansion. I’ve learned to let go, to grow close, to share a friend with others, to have many different friends. Each pairing has been worth it.

So now it’s time to let some friendships fade a little into the background. I’m grateful for what these relationships have given me and for the people who have become my friends. I know that some people will stay in my life for longer. They have become part of the journey I’m currently on. But I’m also aware that they too may need to find a different path at some time in the future. When we move onto separate tracks I hope that I can honour what the relationship has meant to me, to us, in a positive way. That’s not always easy. Friendships sometimes end in disarray. With falling out. Or unhappiness with each other. Yet these endings are also valuable. They help me to work out what not to do in my next relationship with someone.

I have never expected to have life-long friends. But I have been blessed with a few of these friendships. I also know I have been blessed with every single friendship I have ever had. Good, bad or indifferent each relationship has helped me value other people and their share in my life. I’m looking forward to more friends on this next part of my journey.

Day 735 of my blogging challenge

Hold On: Letting Go Is Easier Thank You Think

hold onI went out onto the hillside for a little while today. It was muddy so I had to hold on to my walking stick in the slippy places. Despite that I somehow slid, climbed and plodded to the top of the hill.

As I watched a waterfall at the top of the hill I thought about the crashing, foaming water finding it’s way down the hill. I passed an old mill on the way up, abandoned long ago with only half of the shell still standing, beside the rushing river. The water used to be dammed to create power for the mill. To hold the water a sort of pond was created. But I wondered how often the water was too ferocious and escaped the containment. Or the times when they had to open the sluices and let the water go. I paused as the cold wind caught at me on the hill top. Water is the symbol for emotions. My walk seemed to have brought a perfect sign to me.

I am very good at holding on to emotions. I hold back from vocalising them so sometimes they become stuck. It can be frustrating when I really want to flow with what I’m feeling. It’s as if I am frightened that releasing my emotions will damage my structure. Yet I saw a solidly built mill, damaged by time, still clearly holding it’s shape. It made me think about me. Am I that solidly built structure still able to hold on despite the ravages of time? I had a sense of the value of when holding is a blessing and when letting go is too. Letting go of my Centre, even though it’s my decision, is bringing up feelings of grief for me. So on the hill I let them flow out and into the water.

I can hold the balance between grief and excitement. Because letting go of the Centre is also bringing me the opportunity to do other things. New adventures. Activities I really enjoy and feel passionate about. But which might have been squeezed out by my attention on the Centre. I am finding the letting go much easier that I once would have. I know the structure remains. And now I can build a new structure on those solid foundations.

Day 734 of my blogging challenge

Adding Bits & Bobs: It All Makes Sense

Trees adding upI’ve been adding things up today. All sorts of bits and bobs. Snippets of work. Ideas and inspirations. Trying to get a sense of the big picture.

Sometimes I know I can’t see the wood for the trees. I see each task or choice and lose sight of the overall plan. It’s the same with my spiritual world as it is in my material world. So I sat down at my desk today with a list of tasks I wanted to complete. Steps in my book project, information to share about the Centre, bills to check and pay. Plus the healing and tarot appointments that were booked in. By 2pm I was fighting a lost battle. I was finding it hard adding up all the remaining things I still had to do and fitting them into the time I had left. Perhaps it was as well that I had an exercise session booked in. Because part of my commitment to my wellbeing is to make sure I do enough physical exercise.

Whilst I was doing the exercises I had to change my focus. To concentrate only on the movements. That meant that I could shift away from all that adding up and step back. Because taking that step away let my subconscious mind work on the themes I am experiencing right now. The wood, so to speak. In the end I finished my session bursting with fresh insight. Understanding that what was adding up in front of me was a whole heap of fears. Fears that have been trying to distract me from moving forward. Therefore I had no chance of seeing the wood. I could only stare at the tree in front of me and wonder, helplessly, what I could do to shift past it.

As I listed the fears that had been working all morning I understood how powerful they can still be. Adding to them was pointless. So was ignoring them. Or denying that I felt any fear at all.

Of course I knew what to do. I’d done it many times before. I needed to speak them out loud. And ask myself ‘what’s the worst that can happen’. Taking each task, choice or idea, one by one, I worked through what if. That most powerful of thought experiments. Because it also allowed me to visualise success as well as failure. To see that some of my imaginings were much worse that the worst that could actually happen. And to allow myself the feeling of trust. Each fear was me saying I didn’t trust me. Adding to the confusion between heart and head. Nibbling away at my confidence in myself. Adding to a general feeling of being lost or stuck.

Speaking my fear gave me a chance to hear it outside my head. As a result I could challenge what I was thinking. I could remind myself of all the things that had already happened in my life that were much worse that these fears. In regaining my perspective the trees blended into a whole forest. I could see the way through and the many paths I could use. It’s sometimes surprising how things begin adding up once I face my fears. How the Universe answers in kind. If I am fearful it will send some more fear as it assumes that’s what I want. Because that is what my energy is living. Yet if I am hopeful the Universe will send things that bring hope. Once again, because I am living hopefully.

Tonight I’m back looking at the big picture. It’s made up of all sorts of bits and bobs that are adding up to a wonderful new beginning for me. I’m looking forward to my journey because I know, if ever I get lost in fear again, I will be able to find my way through anything.

Day 665 of my blogging challenge

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

painting stepsSome days it feels like two steps forward and one step back. Although I have more energy and inspiration since the last energy upgrade, today I hit a snag. I didn’t feel particularly motivated about anything!

I had some plans. Especially as I know it’s time to take steps to get my book upload completed. But whatever I tried to do with it on my computer this afternoon seemed to hit a brick wall. I realised after an hour I was getting nowhere really fast. Stepping back I thought about the eclipse energy that’s on it’s way in. The Moon in between the Sun and the Earth. That event is growing closer. So the energy from the sun will be blocked temporarily. By the watery influence of the Moon. It reminded me of ArchAngel Rophea, the Earth’s Guardian Angel of Opposites, who reconciles fire and water. It’s the end of her month of influence and it’s ending with a big push to get us to be balanced.

As I thought about what needed to be balanced I realised I had slipped back a little. Steps I could have taken had been put on hold because a little bit of resistance energy was still floating around. I recognise that it’s hard to step forward when I still don’t quite believe I’m the right one for the job. So I’m not putting myself out into the world as confidently as I could. As I thought about the challenge of balancing feelings and action, I understood that I had to do something to boost my momentum. So I got out my paints. Because I love being creative. Then I opened up my Newsletter for the Centre. Because it was supposed to have been sent out Friday (in my mind anyway). And I painted, wrote, designed and did more painting.

These aren’t the steps I planned. But they felt like the right things to do to honour the pause in my plans. By the end of the afternoon I felt in balance again. I sent out the finished Newsletter with a smile. Reconciling opposite energies is easier than it sounds. So long as I stay in a creative zone. Happy Eclipse energy!

Day 636 of my blogging challenge 

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Relax, Rest, Review: Time to Think

Rest is very important. It’s a point I make over and over when I’m mentoring. So today I’ve taken a rest day. And perhaps to give myself time to think.

Of course taking a holiday break gives me a chance to step back from my work. To move out of my life as it is and do something different. I also enjoy the time I get to reflect when I take a break. Because I can think about those things that are going right with my life. And what isn’t. Interesting these things often come up in the events of my holiday. Take noise for an example. I hadn’t realised how much I enjoy quiet time. At home and in my Centre I am very lucky to enjoy the absence of most noise whenever I want. Staying in a hostel full of noisy people has been a challenge. Rest has sometimes been hard to find.

The walls are very thin. The communal areas can get very busy. The doors bang continually in the morning as people get up, shower, have their breakfast and set off for the day. One or two late night parties have taken place overhead. When the silence descended today I breathed a sight of relief. I’ve had a couple of moments of praying for deafness. And of wondering if people are aware of being inconsiderate. I realise how precious silence has become to me. In the quiet I can tune into that inner voice of guidance. The Guides can draw closer. In this relaxed space we talk about all sorts of things.

I’ve also enjoyed a rest after all the walking. My body loves being active. Wind, rain or shine it doesn’t matter. Striding along gives me more time to think.

Ideas jump into my head. Wondering and wandering. Reviewing my life as a journey like my walking. The past couple of days I’ve enjoyed thinking about what my life would have been thousands of years ago. Probably lots more walking, of course, but still a journey from birth to death. Maybe a few more children than in this life. Probably grandchildren by now, if not great-grandchildren. Of course there might not have been much in the way of medical care so childbirth could have been a hazard. It reminded me that my body matters too.

After I watched the ferries arriving and departing this afternoon I sat down for a coffee. In a quiet cafe I sat with my Passion Planner to review last week. It’s something I do every Monday even if I’m on a rest day. I find the commitment to looking back over my week helps me shift any thoughts or feelings that I’ve got stuck with. It also clears my head for the week in front of me. The ferries got me thinking. When I am on a boat there is nothing to do but rest. Surrounded by all that water there is nowhere else to go. I am contained within the area of the boat. Like my life is contained in my diary most of the time.

I am contained by my passion for what I do. Yet I can also find those trips to other places that help me relax. As well as recharging my batteries taking time out refreshes my ideas and purpose for my life. Well deserved rest!

Day 602 of my blogging challenge 

A Quiet Moment of Calm

imageSome times days stand out because they are quiet. I like it when I have space to relax and take it easy.

It’s a holiday weekend. My town has been busy as people take the opportunity to have an extra day off work. I have had a chance to sit quietly in the Centre. After a busy week I have welcomed the chance for some peace and quiet. I know that I need to step out of the busy, busy, busy energy every now and again. It’s too easy for me to keep doing and doing. Yet having time to myself, to do something that relaxes me, is very important.

In one period of my life I would have felt very guilty to be taking time away from work or busy-ness. At another period I would have been trying to distract myself from a life that felt out of control. And I also know that at certain points in my life being quiet, being with myself, was scary. Yet now the quiet moments always help me to feel calm. I know I am grounded because I can enjoy the peaceful flow of energy. In these moments I can be free of having to do, say or be any other way. There are no expectations being placed on me. Not even my own. Quiet moments are the spaces where I can switch off the thoughts and feelings. My attention can wander freely wherever it wishes.

As I sat listening to the music on the CD, or reading my new book, or gazing at the cloudy sky I stepped out of time.

That’s another thing I notice about being quiet. I had no idea what time it was. Several hours melted away unnoticed. How wonderful to stop time for a while. To remove myself from the pressure of time passing. Or from having to pass time. When that happens my Guides tell me it’s the closest we can get to understanding the Afterlife in this life. Everything is now for the Spirit World. My loved ones are so occupied by what is happening now that past and future cease to exist. I like the idea that I can experience a sort of nowness that is similar to their experiences after the have died. It makes me feel that they aren’t so far away after all.

In my quiet moments I can be more alongside my loved ones. Best of all, they can be more alongside me. I am giving them space to sit with me, share with me and be with me on their terms. It may have been a quiet, calm day yet I know it was full of companionship, love and laughter too.

Day 287 of my blogging challenge.

Giving birth to another dream

imageWhat a frantic few days! Church services, a Centre to run and PartyLite candles to find out about. All alongside the deadline for my first manuscript to be completed. Also how exciting! I get to do all sorts of things that I enjoy and call it work.

I’m always amazed at the way my life has shaped itself around things that I’ve finally realised I am good at. It’s like living a dream come true. When I gave birth to my daughter I though my biggest dream had finally happened. However, I’ve been lucky enough to dream more dreams. And to watch them manifest in the world. There are more dreams to birth in the next few weeks and I’m so excited yet full of butterflies at the same time.

Today one of the most personally rewarding dreams was born. Those of you who have followed my blog will know that I started all those days ago because I wanted to help myself overcome writers block. I was sure that if I stuck with a blog a day I would find enough words to make a book. Hopefully one of the ones I’ve had stuck in my head for years. Now it’s a reality. I have sent the first draft of my manuscript off to my editor. I know it’s not the finished article yet. There will be a lot of polishing to do. Yet I’m sure that at the end I will have what I wanted. My words will be out of my head to be shared with others.

I have always written this blog with two aims. One, to help me reflect on my day. I like to take my experiences and explore what they are all about. The second has been to let people see what a psychic life is like.

A psychic, or as I prefer, intuitive life is all about ordinary people doing extraordinary things. Extraordinary in the sense that not everyone is doing them yet. I’m sure that when cars first appeared people thought that their drivers were extraordinary. After all horses, feet and carts had got us all from place to place for hundreds of years. Why use a contraption to get around that was noisy, fast and dangerous? Nowadays we don’t bat an eye at all the cars on the road. Driving is seen as an ordinary thing. People do it for a job. Everyone wants to be able to do it. And most of us can.

I am certain that one day we will all use our intuition to connect with one another. It will  seem odd not to. It will be an ordinary thing. I’m also certain that one day we will all use our intuitive ability to connect directly with our loved ones in the Spirit World. There will be no need to visit a church or a medium. It will be an ordinary thing to chat with out Guides, family and friends in the Afterlife. It’s all about getting over our connection block.

Having finished my book it’s time to birth another writing dream. I’m looking forward to  another two books. They are in my head and need to be on the page. It’s also time to start manifesting the biggest dream of my mediumship so far.

I’m about to launch the Earth’s ArchAngels Mystery School. Three years of hard work, going forward then into reverse, has delivered the ArchAngel’s Wysdom Odessy online training course. It’s also brough forwards Parashiel’s Balm energy healing and waves of support from the rest of the ArchAngels. Now it’s time to teach their mysteries. Students have been coming forward one by one to take up the opportunity to immerse themselves in ancient knowledge. Soon I’m off to visit the Dragon Tree on Tenerife to pick up another set of energy vibrations for the school.

The Seekers and Custodians who join the Mystery School are the people who will help to birth that acceptance of intuition. They are the designers of our next model of working with Energy Beings. They are like the drivers of the first cars. People who like to develop, test and push the boundaries of what we think can be done. I know it’s going to be an exciting, challenging time. It’s also going to be frustrating, irritating and hard to wait for this vision of Earth to finally manifest. My Guides tell me I will see it happen whilst I’m alive. How wonderful that will be.

Please dream your dreams. Make them extraordinary. Believe in them, in yourself and in the support around you. Stick at it. Keep sticking at it. Your life can change so that you give birth to your dream too. I know it can ?

Day 280 of my blogging challenge. 


Back into the Centre

greenearthcircleThe retreat is over. Or holiday, except I was busy doing a lot of reflecting and clearing. Today it’s back to the Down 2 Earth Heart Centre and work.

One of the most fascinating things about running a Centre is the way in which it is a centre for my life. A lot of the things I do are on offer there. Walking into the corridor you will find my art work on display in our little Hidden Gem Gallery. Open the door and step into the main room full of soft music and wonderful fragrances. My PartyLite candles and Earth’s ArchAngels sprays lift the energy. Sit down on a settee that could have come from your Grandma’s front room to enjoy a cuppa. We can chat. There might be my meditation group or Reiki to try. Or perhaps a connection to a Guide or Spirit loved one. I am grateful that I can do so many things, offer so many services and have a peaceful place to work in.

I also know that working in the Centre keeps me centred. Life has a way of pulling or pushing us off balance. I don’t mean to get out  of step with myself. It happens because I’m human. I have thoughts and feelings that can boost me or drag me down. I’m surrounded by other humans who are experiencing the same thing. All of us are putting our energy into a communal pool and all of us are drawing our energy from that same pool. It’s interesting to have been on a retreat and then come back. I haven’t seen the news for two weeks and can’t say I’ve missed it. Yet I can feel the energy that news reports have generated in the people. Inside the door of the Centre it’s like a no news place. Even a no personal news place.

Anything that is waiting in my admin tray, or issues that people might need me to sort out, are surrounded by calm, compassionate energy.

Inside this place I can take a fresh look at my own issues. It’s as if the energy of the world is held at bay whilst I work out what, if anything, I need to do. I love working in circles and spirals. They draw me back to some of my most powerful shamanic experiences. As I returned to work today I felt as if I had returned to the circle energy. The enfoldment of all my worries, niggles and concerns was complete. They can safely be left in this circle of peace. The energies they have created in me can dissipate. I am in balance again.

Day 263 of my blogging challenge.

My psychic life: Day 4

IMG_0536Today’s task has been to stay focused on the readings & healing I have lined up & not drift away into a trance. That’s because tonight I’m hosting an evening seance where I will be the Trance & Physical medium bringing in the Spirit people for others to see with their own eyes. A very different part of my work – but one that fascinates me.

Let me explain a little about Trance (also called transfiguration) & how I work in it. A trance is an altered state of consciousness – like meditation or hypnotherapy – in which the blend of me with Spirit can allow the Energy Being to affect my physical features, use my hands or voice and more clearly bring a representation of that being into our 3D world. A trance medium aims to alter their brainwave frequency from an awake, alert pattern to a much lower frequency (but not so low as to be asleep). Our own Spirit spark (what animates out clay overcoat) can then move to one side somewhat to make room in the aura & physical body for another Energy Being. At that point the new energy being can influence the physicality of the medium & be more present in the room.

There is a long history in Spiritualism of trance mediumship. This type of blending has been a useful way for Spirit to provide extra evidence that they can interact with our dimension & make direct changes. Trance mediumship has been investigated in many different ways – although the world of science remains unconvinced – and you will find many reports & pictures of seances from reliable sources if you want to look into this phenomenon more closely. Of course there has also been a lot of misinformation & misunderstanding about this type of work. It gets even more confusing if you then consider physical mediumship. A medium in a deep trance can often be used by the Energy Beings to produce not just facial or physical changes. Working together the blending of the medium & Energy Beings can also produce physical phenomena e.g. lights, cold & heat shifts, moving objects, noises like raps & bangs, voices in the air & through a trumpet.

There are traditions in this type of work about the ways in which mediums should work. However, many of today’s trance mediums are finding that the blending can be done in different conditions – so we are experimenting all the time. I don’t work in total darkness or with red light. I’m not disturbed by noise. I can work with ectoplasm as well as with energy to produce phenomena. My people seem to enjoy being photographed by digital cameras & phones – sometimes I feel they like showing off, lol. Occasionally they will let people video the seances. And they also love electrical equipment. I now have a light box and emf-type meter built by another experienced seance sitter so that the Energy Beings can show themselves.

Soon I will go & have a shower, a little rest & then get into my black clothes (black is a good background to pick up orbs). I have been meat free for 2 weeks so that there is no undigested food in my stomach; I’ve been drinking lots of water & avoiding coffee & alcohol; all of these help raise my vibration & ensure that the trance work can be carried out in the best possible conditions. The room has been set up with a circle of 15 chairs. There is music on hand to help raise the vibrations. And there is my trumpet alongside the musical instruments that might be used by the Energy Beings to make noise.

I love this part – the anticipation! Will the energy of the sitters blend well? Will the energy build up & be strong enough? What will people experience? Who will step forward & blend with me? Will all the equipment work? I never know what is going to happen. And I miss most of it anyway as I’m the one in trance – quite a challenge for me as I’m curious about everything. I’m looking forward to hearing what people feel & think about the seance. How it might have been improved. What to try next time. So much research to carry on doing!