There are days when I can’t tune in. Even with Tarot, pendulum or divining rods. Fortunately not too many. But it often boils down to free will.

When I set out on my journey into Awareness and Mediumship I though that my Guides would never be away from my door. I thought they would be trying to control my every move, thought and choice. First I had a bit of a rant at them. I told them I wouldn’t take kindly to being told what to do. It’s that rebel in my head. She sounds off at any chance. Sometimes attacking first without waiting for the bigger picture to emerge. Or at least she used to. My Guides seemed to find my rants rather amusing. They laughed quite a bit at the idea that they could make me do anything.

My Mum’s policy was to ask me to do the opposite of what she wanted. She knew I would always do what I thought ran counter to her wishes. So I ended up pretty much doing what she wanted until I finally figured it out. When my Guides reacted with amusement it made me stop and think. Were they using a tactic on me. At first trust is hard to build up with Spirits who you think are strangers. Even when your intuition is telling you that you know their energy signal. That it’s not the first time you have met. So I was cautious. I wanted to know why they found my resistance funny.

I now know that they were trying to teach me a very important first principle. The idea of free will.

Of course I had heard of free will. I also thought I had it until I stepped back and looked more closely at my life. Then I realised that a lot of my choices were influenced by the needs of other people. Perhaps I wasn’t doing what I chose after all. Yet free will doesn’t mean doing exactly what you like when you like. My Guides were quick to point out that what you give out you get back. My choice had to be filtered through an understanding of my intention. What would be achieved for me and others if I chose any particular option.

I know that my Guides were asking me to embrace a kind of thinking that meshes with my inner spiritual being. Hauling off and shouting angrily at someone might be my first free will choice. But that energy would be returned to me. Did I really want that? I guess the selfish bit of me certainly didn’t want a tide of anger coming back at me. Considering my free will more carefully from a self interested point of view in the beginning moved me into more questions about the nature of free will. Like why do we have it? If we really do have it.

That was another cause of gentle amusement for my Guides. They asked me to check how much free will I actually had.

I am a product of my personality as expressed through a particular time period. My experiences have shaped my beliefs and outlook. It’s impossible to divorce me from my nature and nurture. The amount of free will I express is restricted by that. Of course I can make choices to change my personality and background. Some of these efforts will succeed. My application of my free will alters too. However, it is certainly the work of a lifetime to match up free will and spirituality in action.

So I asked the obvious question. Why do I have the power to choose where I take my life but sometimes refuse, forget or decide not to use it? My Guides responded so lovingly when I asked this. They told me that my first purpose in exsisting was to be able to experience love and it’s absence. So that I could do that I had to be able to choose. My choices had to draw in or drive away the loving energy all around me. And I had to have an inner and outer world that my choices acted on. All actions have consequences. It is up to me whether I experience life as a blessing or a curse. Whether I search high and low for the love that is under my nose.

Very soon the new year will be here. I’ve been asking for guidance for myself. But it’s been very slow in coming. My Guides have reminded me that I have to choose. 2017 will be whatever kind of year I choose to make it. If it’s my choice then I know it;s going to be a good year. No matter what happens I will look at my free will choices very carefully to make sure I’m picking the best things I can for myself ?

Day 404 of my blogging challenge.