I was heading to my aunt’s house this morning. The leaves have started to turn their colour as the year fades gently away. As I drove I thought about all the changes that have happened to me this year.

Sometimes I’m so busy changing that I don’t even notice that it’s happening. Other times I’m in the midst of changes feeling really stuck and wanting to push on forward. Yet the strange thing about change is that I can’t see where I’m heading. Because I might think I’m going in one direction only to find I’ve ended up somewhere completely different. I knew at the start of this year that my life had to change. I even thought I knew how it would be changing. Yet at the back end of the year I’m heading off into a very different set of experiences. I hadn’t thought at all about Embrace Intuitive Mentoring in January. My book was going to be published but I hadn’t expected it to be when it was. And what about my Centre? That didn’t turn out as I expected either.

Heading through each month I’ve found myself having to respond to changes that have been thrown at me. Because on top of my desire to reshape my life the Universe has also sent lots of things to make sure the change happens. In fact my Passion Planner is full of plans and projects that have been revisited, overturned, revised or deleted. As if I hadn’t quite got the big picture yet. However, I have noticed that the changes that have happened are really good for me. I am listening to my intuition all the time. When I wobble I am strong enough to deal with my fears. I am choosing things that I love to do. And making the practical stuff happen to keep being able to do those things. In the end I feel I have recognised and valued my abilities much more this year.

So I’m sure I’m heading in a better direction with my life. Because I have chosen to embrace change, not fight it.

I’ve also made a great effort this year not to be hard on myself. When change is unexpected it’s easy for me to start telling myself off. I can bring up all sorts of reasons why I should judge myself harshly as I try to respond to changes. There are a lot of should’ve, would’ve, could’ve moments. These aren’t helpful. They stop me from heading in a positive direction. Instead I’ve given myself a lot more permission to have my wobbly moments. And a lot more encouragement that everything will turn out for the best. Because it usually does. And because I do my best to make it turn out that way. That’s the secret. My resilience in the face of many changes will pull me through.

I think we forget just how much change we can handle. I know I’ve hit that ‘change overload’ point several times this year. When I’ve wanted to say ‘enough is enough’. But I’ve somehow kept going. Stayed with my head above the water. Faced down my fears and carried on taking whatever action I could. Heading to the end of the year I can see that I have stuck with the process of change. Dealing with the loss of the old and the introduction of the new. Shifting my position to find a new balanc in my life. Recognising what I want to keep and what I want to bring in. I haven’t done this perfectly. Sometimes the Universe has had to drop things on my head to get me to notice. And I’m almost there.

I’m almost at the dream I wanted to try for the next few years. It hasn’t shaped up exactly the way I thought it would. But it’s here all the same. I’m heading into a bright future. I’m so glad I’ve changed!

Day 687 of my blogging challenge