Contented? Yes, I Can Finally Say That I Am

contentedThe rain came today. A relief from all of the hot weather. I stayed indoors thinking about my life. And realising that I am contented. I enjoy who I am and what I have. My life is far less turbulent than it once was.

Age brings perspective of course. I have got to that point in my life when my ambitions are much less of a driver in what I do. That’s not because I have no more ambitions. It’s because I have changed the way I view what makes me happy. Instead of looking for material world rewards I now focus on being contented. Happy with my lot. A ‘lot’ that includes so much that I really have very little left to ask for. I still have dreams. But these are grounded in being of service to others. My own needs and wants are being met through that service. It is something that I would have thought unlikely even ten years ago.

My life went onto a new track as I connected with my Guides and the teachers they put in front of me. I’m not quite sure when I made the actual choice to work and be of service. But once that choice was made it altered my world view out of all recognition. I found myself on a journey towards becoming contented. I know I was unsure about what that meant. Or how I could do it. Yet I also understood that I wanted to be happy for as many moments in my life as I could. Not happy all the time. I feel that is something that comes after the long process of letting go of fear. But happy as much as I could be at any point in my life.

I’m contented that I will still have those fear moments. I can use them to remind myself that life is uncertain, So that I can enjoy every happy moment I get. And put my energy into continuing to be of service. To myself and others. And, most especially, to the Guides and Inspirers who continue to help me create happiness in my life.

Day 967 of my blogging challenge

Drawing Back: Service In A Different Way

drawing of fox sistersFor a while I’ve been drawing back. Encountering endings with a tinge of sadness but a heart full of hope. It’s the year when I needed to make changes. Ready for a fresh start in a few weeks.

I’ve found myself drawing on all my reserves this year. As I head to the end, in this last couple of weeks, I’m noticing how weary I have become. Never weary of serving the Spirit and Energy people. But definitely weary of the way people demand that I give and give. Then turn round and demand that I give their way even more. Funnily enough, my Guides have never demanded anything of me. They asked me if I was willing to serve their higher purpose and, after a lot of thought, I said yes. Then they showed me where to go, what to do and who to connect with. Always with the respect that I could say no to anything they asked.

This evening my work in the Spiritualist churches and Centres was drawing to a close. I visited a lovely place in Sale to do my last public service. I know it will be some time before I return to public demonstrations of message mediumship. Because the Guides have asked me to work on the kinds of mediumship that offer evidence rather than messages. And I have agreed. With some relief. I have loved meeting people across the country in all sorts of Spiritualist groups. But I was, and may always be, a reluctant medium. Standing on a stage giving messages is something I’ve done as a service. Not because of a religion. A service to my Guides and the Spirit people who queue up to console their loved ones. And the people who have received comfort from what evidence and messages I can give them.

I won’t miss drawing back from those people who have seen this service as only to themselves. Who have let Ego blind them to the wonder of getting a message at all.

That really does happen. My messages are judged, and sometimes found wanting, by people who have never tried to communicate this way. The evidence I bring has been scrutinised, pulled to bits and rejected because a loved one didn’t say a particular word. Or, worst still, although my message has been correct it’s not what the person wanted to hear so they have dismissed it completely. What a waste. For all of us involved. I feel the worst of the worst though, is the expectation that I am there to entertain. Drawing on a common misconception, that it’s all a bit of fakery or foolery, some people expect to watch the people getting the messages. They want tears and laughter, often embarrassment or secrets revealed, all as long as it’s not them.

The Spiritualist Movement has missed a big opportunity. The chance to show what good and excellent mediumship can be. Out in the grass roots there are many honest, ethical mediums working day in and out to serve the Spirit World. Drawing on the best of these unsung heroes would go a long way to showing people what is at the heart of mediumship. The dedication, love and thoughtfulness with which each medium works to serve a loving purpose. Yet many places are driven by the Ego needs of individuals who are not mediums. Both in the management and attendance. I’ve talked before about educating sitters, the people who get the messages, drawing on all that knowledge contained in the Movement. But still we struggle to get people to understand what is happening.

Drawing back to serve in a different way is my answer. I know that my Guides want to educate people about connecting with the Energy Beings. Once it is better understood they hope that people will value the communication in a more reflective and considered way. Not as something to pass an hour on TV, in a theatre or in a Spiritualist venue. But as a genuine experience of comfort. And support for the notion that life does continue after physical death.

Day 748 of my blogging challenge

Conversation in the Square

Many of my messages come through a conversation. Either the person I’m talking to says something that I know is from Spirit. Or they tell me I’ve said something they really needed to hear. Or recognise as being from a loved one in Spirit.

Standing chatting in the Square this afternoon I was enjoying the sunshine. Our conversation was about that thorny subject – what is mediumship? As I talked I felt a familiar tingle. My Guide Wolf Running had his hand on my head. And next to me was a Guide belonging to the other person. I knew what I was saying had significance for both of us. So I listened carefully to the words that were falling out of my mouth. It was interesting to hear a reminder of why I started developing in the first place. And why I continue to share my knowledge about intuitive abilities.

Back in the beginning I was mostly curious. I wanted to understand what was happening. Why did I feel tingles at certain times? How did I seem to know what was going to happen? Or that a client was surrounded by loved ones from Spirit. Yes, I was already helping people through my counselling. I moved in that direction when the corporate world   became too toxic and uncaring. As I opened up to the information from my intuitive senses  I became more involved. I wanted to understand at a deeper level. Because I felt I had found a better way to help people. That’s how I fell into mediumship. Somewhat reluctantly but going with it all the same.

The urge to help is very powerful in all of us. I know I have a conversation with myself every time I am around people who are stuck, lost or floundering. I want to somehow make it better.

As I continued into the connection with Spirits I found I was better than average at it. Still reluctant to believe in myself (or them) I fell into demonstrating and giving messages one to one. That’s when I hit a big challenge. My need to help was fed by my Ego Mind. It told me how much better I could help by making sure I was the one people heard. There was a sort of competitive edge that wanted to creep in. I had a hard conversation with myself once again. Using my abilities was about being of service. Not being the big I Am. I decided then that when I was asked I would serve to the best of my ability. That’s how I found myself teaching. Reluctantly. But reminding  myself it was because of choosing to serve others.

Lots of things I have done have been in the background. Quietly. A conversation with one person. A message to another. A healing thought to a third. Visiting places when asked to by Spirit. Connecting people when required. Encouraging people to move on when the time was right. Because to me mediumship is a whole lot more than standing on a stage just to flatter my ego. The temptation was certainly there. But I’m glad I resisted. That’s not to say that everyone who works publicly is doing it to feed their ego. I know many wonderful mediums who serve day in and day out in public settings. They are there because it’s their form of service. It’s what has been requested of them. But I want to add a note of caution. A few aren’t serving anyone but themselves.

That’s a sad conversation to have. To recognise that their Guides have to wait until the Ego Mind has run it’s course. And hope that not too much damage has been done to the public in the mean time.

I encourage people to recognise mediumship in all of it’s forms. Including the healers, psychics, Tarot readers, geomancers, intuitives, and empaths (amongst many names) who might cross your path. Along with the ordinary, kind hearted and open people who offer you support and encouragement when you most need it. They are serving too. Quietly. For no visible reward. Passing on the love that is all around if we choose to be open to it. I believe that intuitive ability is natural for all of us. And I also believe that when required we are all of service on behalf of Spirit. It’s just that we don’t recognise it. Or know how much our help has mattered. The Spirit World would like to thank you today for everything you have done on their behalf. And ask you to keep doing it <3

Day 487 of my blogging challenge.