Some days I find myself resisting the impulse to fill my time with activity. Part of it is about running my own business. Part of it is that Spirit people often drop by unannounced. Asking me to do something for them.

A common challenge with working for myself is to ensure I take enough time for myself. The flow of work is unpredictable. I can be very busy then on what seems like a go slow. So it’s tempting to say yes to everything I’m asked to do in case a quiet spell is on it’s way. But that isn’t good for me. It’s too easy for me to become exhausted by chasing all the work. Or feeling like I have to be there for people at all times. Since I am also someone who enjoys being busy it can be very seductive to follow that impulse to work as much as possible. But I have been resisting both of these drives for some time now. Because I know I’m not effective if I’m tired.

In the same way, my impulse when I get Spirit visitors is to give them my time and attention. It’s a natural reaction as I want to help anyone I can. Yet, again, I’ve had to understand that resisting the impulse to pass on messages at inappropriate times is important to my wellbeing. I know that in the beginning I was frightened that if I told the Spirit people to go away they would never come back. But I now know they always do. Because not too many of us are prepared to communicate with them. And they really want to get their messages through to us. Over time I have become much better at setting ‘working hours’ for the Energy Beings.

So it has been a strange experience to find that I couldn’t sleep last night. At all. Not because my mind was active. Or that there was work to do. But because I was resisting letting myself relax.

I realise I needed a little lesson. A reminder that work of any kind isn’t the be all and end of my life. There has to be down time. I have to give myself a break. Of course I ended up doing something during my wide away night. I read a novel. Finally stopping myself resisting my wide awareness. Using it instead. But understanding that I must take it very easy on myself during today. Which I have done. And I have had chance to consider where this busy, busy, busy side of me comes from. Because it is part of my personality to enjoy being active. But it’s also become over exaggerated by my desire to achieve.

Ambition is a great energy to use to get things done. However, we live in a world where ambition has become a major driver in people pushing themselves past their limits. I have done that in my work in the past. Trying to achieve what I thought would be good for me. Resisting the signals of my body and mind that ambition and achievement had pushed me passed my limits. I was clearly rejecting those signals because my balance was off. I had no ambition to relax properly. Over the years since I have become much better at being busy doing nothing. Yet there must be a little bit of push left. And my sleepless night gave me plenty of time to recognise it.

Resisting a balanced life is an experience many of us share. The energy waves of the moment are asking me and you to notice where we reject rest and relaxation. To understand how our mind tries to keep us busy and active. With no time for contemplation  or relaxation. I’ve enjoyed a day without ambition or achievement. Tonight I can sleep.

Day 643 of my blogging challenge