I love debating all sorts of things. It’s something I’ve done all of my life. Probably part of the reason why I procrastinate too. Because I want to hear all sides of the debate. And seek out a clear understanding of the issues. Since my Guides stepped in I also want to hear their take on it too.
I suppose one of the biggest surprises that I got when I started to communicate with my Guides was that they can’t tell me what to do. I have to use my own free will. To the best of my ability. In order that I arrive at a course of action that comes from my heart and ethics. I have to say I debated that with them for a long time. Surely, I thought, they were there to help me get things right? But I soon came to understand that debating the best course of action for me was so that I would make the choice. And be responsible for the consequences of that choice. Even if I had to learn a lesson by making a choice with consequences that affected other people in a way I didn’t like.
What mattered, they explained, was that the debating should happen. That I should think very carefully about every thought, word and action. To check that it was the best I could do, in the circumstances as I understood them. If there were unexpected consequences, which there usually are, I would consider more carefully next time. And if there were consequences I could see but ignored, once again, I could make a better decision next time. I’ve stuck with this now for many years. In fact I know my Guides were trying to help my debating long before we had regular communication. They helped me to try to work out my ethics. My rules for living.
Debating is only useful if it encompasses feelings, thoughts and beliefs. There is no point me hiding myself from me. When I am trying to work out what to do for the best I also have to understand my motivations and the bias I am applying.
It’s very easy in a time of ‘me, me’ and Ego Mind to loose sight of other people. I know the temptations of making decisions coming only from my needs and not from what all of us need. If I drift off into that state I only have to look around at what people are mirroring back to me. Because they will be considering only themselves in any debate. My Guides say all Guides work with all of us to try to shift the ‘me, me’ as much as possible. They try to introduce empathy, authenticity and self-awareness. But, of course, not everyone is at the point of recognising themselves yet. I understand this. I know I didn’t want to look at my shadow side. Or acknowledge it’s power and influence on me.
Yet I am glad I did. I started a debate with myself once I looked inside. Because I wanted to act from a heart centred, unconditional love perspective. That’s hard. I know we are trained to limit our love for ourselves. And therefore for others. So I had a long, sometimes exhausting time debating with myself. But it was worth it. I know I work from the best bits of me. My choices may not suit others but I am in alignment with my principles. I do believe in authenticity, empathy and self-awareness. The actions I take are based on ‘First do no harm’ with the understanding that my definition of ‘harm’ may not fit someone else’s understanding.
It is their choice to join in debating a shared understanding between us. But if they don’t ask I don’t explain either.
I am very aware that I can’t please all of the people all of the time. I freely admit that I don’t try to please anyone. Except myself. Debating with my Guides I realised that trying to do the best thing as measured by other people was a thankless task. Everyone has a different view of what the best is. I don’t have to look far to see that acted out at local, national or global levels. There is so much debate about what is best. Yet no debate about the beliefs backing up the arguments. Or the self-awareness to admit a vested interest in one outcome or another. So people stay on the defensive. Or, worse still, launch into an attack as if that will gain more agreement.
This lack of authenticity in the debates we are having currently means we will still act from Ego. In other words, our actions will be driven by fear not kindness. Or a recognition of shared humanity. No wonder my Guides keep on at me to write and speak about unconditional love. That is the only way to navigate through all the debating. The only way for me and you to be sure that our actions do not create consequences we don’t want to have come back. That’s the secret the Guides know. When we send out fear responses all we get back is fear. I have had that return of energy. Now I work within myself to send out unconditional love.
My choices are grounded in tough love. Grown up love. Love that knows how we treat others will come back on us. I understand that people find it easier to say ‘with love’ than to actually follow through on doing with love. I let it be. The lesson being learned isn’t mine. It’s theirs. And I also remember that there are many, many strands to a debate. Many truths. Many opinions. I follow my heart on the spiritual path as that feels honest and loving. I hope you can too.
Day 822 of my blogging challenge
One of the interesting themes this past few days has been about ego. That ‘thing’ we say is too much, too little or not there at all. Something we say that can lead to arrogance, deference, traps and pitfalls. The ego mind is a powerful justification for all sorts of things.