Self-Belief: Wobble, Balance, Wobble

I’ve had a day off today. Almost. I had a live broadcast to do. Strange when I think how much that made me wobble. So much that I almost didn’t get started.

I’ve been doing live videos on Facebook once a week for over three months now. It took ages for me to step forward and start to do them. I had one wobble after another. My Guides kept reassuring me that I would do ok. They kept reminding me that I would reach people who could benefit from what I had to pass on. In the end I sat down one day and did it. Feeling unsteady all the way through. But getting it done anyway. I was remembering that feeling again today as I sat down to broadcast.

No matter how much self-belief I have I know that from time to time I will wobble again. It happened again yesterday when I had to launch a new subscription email for the work connected with the broadcasts. And it will probably happen again next week when I sit down on Monday and Wednesday to record my first podcasts. Although my Guides have been kindly reminding me that it will all go ok I am still stepping out of a comfort zone. Because I’m releasing restrictions. Bringing on the wobble for myself. Pushing myself to try new things.

The wobble I bring on myself seems far more terrifying that any wobble that life can bring me. That’s because my self induced wobbles are me challenging my own self-belief.

I feel confident that if the world throws anything at me somehow I will sort it out, get through it, survive it. These wobbles might make me feel a little out of balance. But they don’t tend to end up with me on the floor wondering if I’ll ever get up again. The ones that come from inside tend to emerge from the dark places. From my deepest fears. Aiming right at my confidence and self-esteem. There is a part of me that still believes in ‘I can’t’, ‘I’m useless’, ‘I don’t deserve’. It’s a part that is shrinking. Something I definitely want to be rid of. I’m making great strides to stay balanced as much as possible.

Self-belief is like walking a tightrope. At any moment I could fall off. Except that I am learning how to be calm, free and relaxed about the wobble. I’m accepting it will happen every time I step further out of my comfort zone. So I’m giving myself permission to have the wobbles. And the permission to be balanced. I’m also treating that tightrope as something which is getting more substantial. Thicker and stronger. Capable of bearing more of my foot. Supporting me as I move across it.

That’s the secret with a wobble. Reminding myself that it’s a natural part of removing my limitations and restrictions. Being certain that my balance will keep me upright. That I can do new things whenever I want. And enjoy it.

Day 577 of my blogging challenge 

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