The clearing of energy goes on. Today it’s been sad feelings. The tears I sometimes find it hard to cry. That all of us find hard to acknowledge.

My Spirit is always trying to help me to be a more evolved human being. So I’m not allowed to escape any of my feelings. Although I, like many others, have spent years trying to do so. Some feelings are so hard to experience. I guess we all like to feel joy. Or happiness. Yet feeling sad is a much harder emotion to embrace. There is a subtle pressure not to cry. To hold back tears as long as possible. Or to express my tears only at certain times or in certain places. I can cry at a funeral. Or a sad film. I must stay dry eyed when I see the pictures of starving children. Or war torn cities. Or the over crowded boats in the Mediterranean.

A part of this seems to be about whether I can do anything about the situations that move me to tears. Losing a loved one through death gives me a permission to mourn. Even crashing my car can be an acceptable thing to cry about. Or the ending of a relationship. These are personal losses, close to home. It’s ok to shed tears so long as I do so in the right place at the right time. And so long as I eventually ‘get over it’. These sad tears can flow. When something is outside of my area of control the tears may end up being connected to frustration or anger. Those emotions may mask the underlying sadness I feel about being helpless to help.

Added into the mix is the pressure not to be sad. Feeling sad seems at odds with all my striving to be happy. So I push away the feeling. Store it away for later. I present the world only my happy face.

Yet sadness is a mark of how much I do care. Why must it be avoided. At all costs? Something that is rather difficult with it the energy ocean at the moment. Because the world is sad. People are having to recognise the consequences of their choices. And that demanding change also brings a huge amount of uncertainty. As old situations slip away are the new choices any better? Underneath everything people love what is familiar. Letting go of the routine patterns will bring about sadness. Along with many other emotions that reflect grief. That’s the heart of sadness. It’s all about loss.

I have lost the me I was yesterday. I can never get her back. She has evolved. Although I still have an inner child she is a faint echo of the me who is here today. Do I cry for her? Or do I cry the tears she never shed? Am I tearful about the stress that the people I love are living with. Or my own stress at being alive right now. In the end does it matter what has made me feel sad? Perhaps the most imposrtant thing is to embrace the feeling. Let myself mourn. Connect in with the flow of tears and let them be expressed. If I release my tears I know I will move from sadness to feeling light again. And I will have moved on again.

Day 473 of my blogging challenge.