What a week it’s been. Running out the door to my retreat weekend I knew I needed to escape. I’ve been niggled, stressed and hectic. Like time was a big pressure. There was too much to do and not enough time. Because I wanted to get on my retreat as soon as possible.
There are definitely times in my life when the niggles take over. I get irritated. Or as I prefer – niggled. It can be such a little thing but it becomes like the source of all of my discontent. And I can’t seem to get back to my easy flow of energy. Like rocks in a stream the niggles block my way somehow. Then I get stressed with myself rushing around to no clear purpose. It often happens when an energy shift is coming. Then there is a morning I wake up calm again. Into clear, flowing emotions. And I wonder what being niggled was all about. It’s at these times I try my best to retreat from the world. As it happens I will be away this weekend so I’m planning to leave any stress behind.
However that is always easier said than done. Being niggled can spill into retreat time to. Because my brain stays focused on the stress in my outer world. When it’s like that I try my best to rest, meditate and put some distance between myself and the stress. I also have a diagnostic session. What is surface niggle? Where is the stress coming from. And what feelings am I ignoring that need to get my attention in this way? When I ask these questions I can surprise myself. Sometimes I’m being shown how much less I feel about certain situations. Even that I have moved on so much that the old feelings are only a faint echo. Occasionally it’s all about me trying to be perfect again. Doing too much. Trying to prove myself as worthy to myself.
And now and again it’s because it just is a niggly week for everyone. Now I have some space to reflect I will work out what this last week has been about. And acknowledge my successes. There may be more of that niggled feeling ahead. Especially if I keep paying attention to my feelings. For now life is in a good moment. Long may those moments continue.
Day 904 of my blogging challenge