We are all neighbours. Most human beings tend to live within groups, communities and countries. So I know it’s necessary to live side by side or reasonably close to one another.
I had had some great neighbours who have become friends. I’ve also had some neighbours who seemed intent on being the opposite. They turned into enemies. Or at least they seemed to regard me as an enemy. Usually over very small issues and a sense of territory. What was their was theirs. And I’d better not expect it to be any different. Caught up in their drama I know it was hard for me to feel like my home was a peaceful place. Or even that it WAS my home. I have moved twice in my life to avoid the people who have been set on making my home miserable. And each time I’ve wondered why people would choose to behave like that.
In fact it’s a question I’ve bounced to my Guides a few times. After all we live on a huge planet. There is enough land for everyone to have a mansion and still be miles away from the nearest neighbours. Yet we have clumped together, breathing down each others necks almost, believing that how we live is the way every one else should. I know that it has become so bad that sometimes situations have got violent. Aggression spills over and people or their animals get hurt. I’ve also been stuck in a kind of ‘tit for tat’ situation that can get all concerned becoming entrenched in an ‘I’m in the right’ mentality. When no one is wholly right or wrong. That mind set is really hard to break, not least if it’s my head pushing all my buttons. That’s why moving became a positive option.
So what do my Guides say about neighbours? How do I ensure that I am a good neighbour? And what do I do if I’m caught up again in hate crimes?
The first thing they remind me of is my natural need to be around people. Human beings are generally sociable. We like to mix and share. My Guides say that is because our energy is preset to unconditional love and compassion. I am a Spirit inside a human body so that’s where the energy comes from. The issue arises when I link into my human emotional energy. I have emotions of all vibrations. I can build or reduce the emotional energy, or swap emotions, depending on what I think. So if I think that someone is my enemy I will feel all sorts of things: anger, fear, hate, annoyance, powerful or disempowered. How that person became my enemy may be lost in the mist of time. Or a slight issue may have become magnified into an unforgettable incident.
My Guides talk about a lack of respect for personal space. They remind me that I need room to breath and to roam. So if I think someone is taking my space, or disrespecting it, I can get upset. Noisy neighbours, people who throw their rubbish in my garden, dog walkers who don’t scoop the poop, drivers who park in ways that make parking difficult for me. And so on and so on. I feel that when I get angry there is always a temptation to lash out. It’s there in all of us. And it’s that bit that leads to awful hate crimes. Not only vandalism, noise nuisance and name calling. But attacks on people or their pets. Anger boils over and people who should hold back don’t.
In the end being neighbours is about owning my own behaviour. And being mindful that I may meet someone who isn’t noticing their own behaviour.
My Guides ask me to think about how much self control I have. They point to stuff I used to say like ‘it was her fault’ or ‘he made me do it’. Before I learned that no one else is responsible for my choices. And that the only fault lay in me not owning my own issues and behaviour. I feel that we are all still very much stuck in pointing to others when at least half of what is happening belongs with us. It seems that the connection to unconditional love and compassion has withered away to almost nothing. because neighbours making issues are people who are actually living in fear. My Guides suggest that these people have lost so much of their Spirit connection that they feel desperately alone and abandoned. That’s why they cling to property and land.
I’ve though about it a lot. Especially when moving is a challenging option. Or the period of time when moving was actually not an option at all. So I had to live alongside people who disrespected my space and my home. There is something else I can do. I can try to become a friend to my neighbours. And I can recognise that their fear is what is driving them. I can also speak out about hate crimes if they happen around me. Most of all, my Guides inspire me to see that getting aggressive about property and possessions is pointless. Nothing lasts for ever. I know that now. Ownership is an illusion driven by fear. The best response to neighbours who are not friends is to let them get on with living in fear. Inside my home all is peaceful if I step out of the drama.
Perhaps it’s time for a concerted effort to recognise that we all want to live in a peaceful home. Being neighbours with each other doesn’t mean we have to fight or fall out. Forgiveness is a very under-rated value that I’ve learned to apply much more in my life. Is it time to forgive your neighbours and move on with your own peace filled life?
Day 712 of my blogging challenge