I’m an air sign. Often I find myself floating off from life instead of being grounded into what is happening. Sometimes that means I will avoid my feelings until they burst out of me.
That can be volcanic. And scary. Plus taking other people completely by surprise. They wonder where all that fallout has come from. Certainly not from the present moment. Perhaps I should revisit what I’ve said. I used to be volcanic. Now I’m chilled. My air energy has found a connection to water. My feelings have become much more flowing and I find myself grounding them out instead of hanging on to them. How did this happen? Certainly not with the wave of a magic wand. But my journey into my spiritual side has had an enormous impact on the way I deal with my feelings.
I’m also rules by the planet Venus. She is the planet of love. But in my journey through life I have experienced an absence of love for a lot of the time. Something my air nature tended to waft me away from. But I need to clarify what that absence has been. I have always had love around me. And, as I thought, given love to others. Yet the one person I didn’t give much, if any, love to was myself. I preferred to skip over the bit about loving me. Thinking that to do so I had to be perfect. I didn’t understand that I could love my flaws as much as I could love my abilities. Learning to love me has been a long journey. Because I had to remember that loving is as easy as breathing. No wonder I have asthma. And feel like I’m drowning.
I struggled to let love into me from me. Like gasping for air I only grabbed little bits of love. And only for certain things that would prove I was a ‘good’ person.
Until one day I ran completely out of self love. I was down at the bottom of the murky ocean of life. I wanted a way out. Yet I struggled to understand that love was the air I needed to breath. Instead I felt full of hate. Then someone threw me a lifeline. Or should I say my Gatekeeper Guide stepped in. He wrapped me up in the energy of love. Carefully he nudged me into connections with people who radiated love. People who gave me a reason to continue swimming. I found hope again. Then I began the process of learning to love me fully. My Spirit rejoiced at the opportunity to engage fully with being human.
I learned to be grateful for me. Along with learning to forgive me for being me. And I finally realised that feeling were good things to have. My air nature might float me off but the love of my Guides kept me connected to the Earth. I started to find love for myself reflected in the people around me. They were sharing their love for me and I was finally listening. I felt myself sharing my love for them. We created loops and spirals of love around each other. My life became incredibly positive. Not challenge free. But I knew I could meet every test with courage because I loved myself enough to do so. What’s more I loved others enough to take the help they wanted to give me. Our bonds of love have been woven tightly together.
I’m no longer drowning. I breathe the air of love. Surrounded by loving people, some of whom have shared my day today, I am afloat in a wonderful world. Love yourself. Breathe the love. Share the love.
Day 581 of my blogging challenge
Brilliant I look forward to more reading Many thanks and Blessings xx
Dear Annie,
A really beautiful blog post, very touching and I’m sure a lot of people can relate to. Am so pleased you found the love for yourself and thank you for sharing your experience. A big part of me feels that I totally love myself. However, I can be very hard on myself and expect so much. Often feeling ‘not good enough’ particularly in the world of work. Your post has reminded me that I can be more loving to myself, and it’s time to start doing so.
Best wishes.
Julie
Thank you for your comment Carolann. I’m glad you enjoyed the blog <3
Thank you Julie for commenting. I feel it can be a really hard thing to recognise we have to love ourselves enough first before we offer that love out to others. So often we are told to do it the other way round. Then we end up stressed, anxious and feeling like we have failed somehow. I wish you a great journey of self love so that you shine your Light even brighter <3