I’ve had a quiet day. Lots of time to reflect. Noticing the light and dark within and without. And embracing it all. Because balance is the lesson I’m learning.

Sometimes doing a kind of nothing lets me process better than rushing around pushing myself into activity. So I’ve enjoyed a day of reading, a short visit to the shops and a chat with a new acquaintance. Nothing too taxing for my mind or emotions. I’ve been embracing time off. Yet bubbling underneath has been an internal discussion. My Spirit and my Ego Mind have been debating my light and dark attributes. Sorting out my charateristics. Those inherent parts of my personality that surface to steer my life.

Of course what I regard as light and dark very much depends on the judgements I make about myself. But I also recognise that many of these come from what I’ve been taught. Embracing my abilities and finding a balance in who I am means checking out those learned beliefs. I’m like a blank card in some ways. Free to define myself in any way I choose. As if to help me there were rain clouds scudding across the sky. Some were dark, almost black, whilst others were whispy white against the grey. A real mixture. Exactly like I am.

Embracing all of my abilities is all about seeing that there are positives even in the darker bits. The land need rain to be fertile. The clouds are brining that blessing.

I require the dark bits so that my creativity can blossom through the challenges I set myself. My abilities need to grow and develop. But that will only happen when I have to work at it. Get through the tough stuff. And give myself a break. Embracing my inherent goodness. That’s important to me. I believe we are all good hearted. That we want to be a community caring for one another. Doing my best to help and be of service. So knowing I have some dark attributes, stuff that perhaps I might not like about myself, gives me something to overcome.

I can do that best by also embracing my light attributes. Recognising and crediting myself with those things I use to make a positive difference in the world. And somewhere in the middle is the balancing point. The place of being me that honours my whole personality. Not to be holier than thou. Or better than everyone. But to be a more complete me. If I deny my dark attributes I am presenting a false front. One that isn’t going to be as effective  as the whole me can be.

Reflecting only my light attributes is a dead end. Embracing my dark attributes is the way forward. I’m looking forward to that balancing point. Now it’s time to go back to my reading and let my Spirit and Ego finish their conversation.

Day 614 of my blogging challenge