Discussion, Debate, Deliberation: Reaching Consensus

discussionI went out to lunch today with a good friend. We do so as often as possible so we can enjoy a good discussion. I love how we debate and deliberate. Our words flow out and back, around and under as we search for a consensus. She is one of the people who fans my flame.

I’ve always loved a good discussion. All my life I have wanted to explore how other people understand the world. I am fascinated by the way that we can experience the same events but understand them so very differently. So much so that we often agree to disagree. The nature of reality is a very slippery subject. That means I have often found myself talking at cross purposes with someone. Getting further apart in our understanding instead of closer together. I watch this happen often on Facebook threads. A deceptively simple question and answers can turn into a fierce debate or intolerant argument rather than a more considered deliberation of the question being posed.

One of the lovely things we shared today was a video by the actor Will Smith. He was talking about a quote by Rumi and particularly the line “Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames.” It got us into a great discussion about the people around us who encourage, inspire and praise us. I am very aware that over the past few years my relationships have changed. When I look at who is in my life now I see people who are supportive of me. They also challenge me. To do more. And to be more. I also find that I want to be my authentic self around them. Because they deserve the best of me. In part because they are giving me the best of them. But also because our discussion draws me on to a deeper understanding of myself.

It’s wonderful how the people around me fan my flames. They give me the positive energy I need so I ask more from myself. And for myself. Every discussion is a new insight. The debate and deliberation feeds into my writing too. It gives me a chance to process my life from a shared perspective. It is wonderful when I find I am in agreement with people who throw another log on my fire. Then I know we are working together to inspire each other.

Day 806 of my blogging challenge

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