I often find making decisions a bit of a roller coaster ride. If I’m not careful I procrastinate for far too long. Sometimes I wish I could just get on with things. Often I dither so much that the ‘right’ moment has passed me by.

That’s part of the problem. When is it the right time to decide something? Often my head and heart are so busy having a battle that I loose the plot completely. It’s as if I’ve been trained that the only decisions I can make have to be perfect. It has to take account of everyone’s views. And it also has to make everyone happy. But interestingly, it doesn’t exactly have to make me happy. I’ve also noticed that for every decision there is a sort of fear about getting it completely wrong. It’s as if a decision will be something set in concrete. Something I will be held to forever. Yet I know we can only work with where I am now and the information I have at this point. If something else emerges then all I need to do is make another decision.

It sounds really simple. However, in my life and also in the work I do for other people, it seems to be much more complicated. Or do we make it that way for ourselves? People often come for readings because they are having a battle inside themselves about which is the best decision. Do I move here, change my job to there, find a new person to love or stick with what I have already. They want me to give them certainty. In some way I am supposed to look at all that is going on and say what the right decision is. Yet I can’t do that. We all have free will. If someone doesn’t agree with what I am saying is out there in their personal energy flow they will ignore me. They will still act in the way they choose to. I can’t change that.

No wonder psychics and mediums are often criticised for somehow getting it wrong. I know I can only give the information I get. I have no way of making up someone’s mind. And neither do the Energy Beings who support us. They know we have to be allowed free will.

Decisions have to be based in doing what is best for me. I have to take the actions that will be positive for my life. It’s ok for me to consider the people around me but in the end I am going to do what I feel is best for me anyway. I wish we were a bit more open to our human nature. I know that I arrange things to suit myself. If any action doesn’t give me something then I won’t do it. That something may be approval from others. It may be that I can tell myself I’m being wonderful for others. My decision may be because I feel an obligation or a responsibility. Or that I want to be seen as someone who is decisive, kind, practical, supportive and all the other value judgements I hold about myself.

Yet behind it there will always be the ‘what’s in it for me’ trade off. I feel that when I acknowledge that aspect of decision making I can be clearer. I can be more decisive.

Yes, I will still think about what others may feel or think about my choice. However, if I understand that I can be authentic about why I choose this and not that I can also give myself permission to change my decision if I feel it hasn’t been the best one for me. So I have learned not to ask my Guides for a straight yes or no. Instead I ask them to help me make sense of all the feelings and thoughts that surround my choice. Finding out that I’m acting on someone else’s energy needs – their thoughts and feelings –  instead of paying attention to mine can also bring more focus. Finally, I ask them to remind me of something else I have learned. There’s is no such thing as a right or wrong decision. Each decision leads to new choices, new options and new decisions.

If I think about today I know that I have made lots of decisions. Big ones, small ones. It doesn’t matter. Tomorrow there will be more to make. There is no need to stress about it. Nothing is fixed to such an extent that it can’t be changed so long as my decision is the best one for me in that moment.

Day 354 of my blogging challenge.