It’s been a thought provoking day. I’ve been considering life, death and what it all might mean from several angles. Even my visit to the cinema raised issues of life and death.

One of the deepest searches that I feel we ever undertake is to discover the meaning of our lives. There is in all of us, I believe, a psychological urge to know that what we are doing has a purpose. Considering my life I know that I often look for my purpose. My mission matters. But why does it matter? As I sat in my local cinema this evening watching a live broadcast, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, this theme emerged again. In front of me the actors discussed what their lives represented. They are minor characters in Shakespeare’s Hamlet who Tom Stoppard uses in his play to explore life, death and meaning. Do we achieve anything by being alive? What happens if we don’t understand what our life means? And is death all we have to look forward to? Hard questions.

Questions that have been with us for thousands of years. Earlier in the day I was considering a conversation I had just had with a grieving person. The discussion turned around what the departed loved one had or hadn’t done and why. And, of course, the grieving process. As I listened I could sense that grief had brought this person to the ‘what’s the point’ stage. Missing someone very dear to them was hurting. So it was natural for there to be anger sparking lots of difficult questions. Sometimes words won’t do. I sat quietly with this person as they spoke to themselves about the way they were feeling. Letting myself hold the silences and be patient that this was helping the person to find a meaning in all the pain. Although finding meaning is never easy when we have to do inner work.

Considering bother these experiences tonight I am struck by our resilience. Even in the times when meaning seems absent I know I trust that there is a purpose to my life.

So many of us do. We keep going. Trying our best. Like the characters in the play I play my part too. Looking ahead and hoping that it will all be clear later down the line. I find the hope to hope, so to speak. I love that about being human. No matter how small my world shrink to in size I can still hope to expand it once more. I can fight for every moment of life even if it seems that life is drifting away from me. When our sense of purpose disappears that’s when I feel we sit down waiting to die. We surrender. Yet I also appreciate how difficult it can be, in the harshest of times, to hold onto a sense of purpose. Considering that point makes me more certain that I want to help people find their own abilities.

Having the support of my Guides has been a huge factor in keeping going. Even when I lost my hope and purpose. They have continued to remind me that I have skills and abilities. That there is a mission for me to accomplish. Listening when I raged in anger or fear. Soothing when I cried many tears. Energising me when the waves of depression overwhelmed me. They have helped me to find meaning in my life even on the darkest of days. And on the lightest of days they have warmed my heart with the joy of knowing I too have meaning, purpose, a mission. I’m grateful that today was a day for considering why I’m here. It’s been a worthwhile exercise in thinking about how much I matter to me 💜

Day 514 of my blogging challenge