I have had two really interesting conversations today about how to decide what to do. In each case I noticed that the issue that really got people stuck was making choices about what to change.

Sometimes I feel we don’t give ourselves enough credit. Change is a challenge. At every stage of our lives we have to learn new things, adapt to new circumstances and find fresh ways of dealing with life events. Otherwise I am sure none of us would ever have learned to walk, to talk, to make things or to form relationships. So many of our activities depend on learning and evolving. Yet I’ve noticed that when it’s time for me to change my head and my heart immediately start a war. My head does a lot of ‘what if’ thinking whilst my heart keeps sending me the signal that something has to give.

I also go into a ‘what is everyone else thinking and feeling’ mode. It’s as if I want to take responsibility for any changes I make having no or little impact on those around me. So I bounce backwards and forwards. Is it ok for me to think about my needs only. What should I do to make sure everyone else is happy with the change. Perhaps I’d better not make any changes at all. Or maybe I need to dive in and do it. It’s so easy to become confused. I’ve often wandered in that maze of confusion. Sometimes for months or years. It’s as if I’m finding sorting out the detail of what needs to change is too difficult. Or too complicated. Even completely unclear. Then I reach the stuck point.

I find myself agonising over going back or going forward. I’ve lost all sense of direction. My feelings flip in seconds and it’s as if I keep pointing in a new direction every time.

This is the bit that is the most challenging. Staying calm. Keeping my focus on being prepared to change. I know that if I accept I’m stuck, confused, unclear it will somehow be easier. Giving myself time to feel and think a whole range of things will eventually bring me clarity. Letting myself take all the time this particular change needs. Recognising the fear I have buried underneath the tumble of thoughts and feelings. Reminding myself that I have made many changes already in my life and this is just the next one. I am also helped by my belief in many lives.

That means that I can understand this particular shift in myself and my circumstances as part of a much longer process. It means I can allow myself time. As much time as I feel I need or want. Because if I don’t change this time round there will always be another chance. Nothing is quite as urgent as it seems. So I embrace that confusion knowing it will stop when my heart and head get into harmony with one another. The way to move my life forward will become clearer with every pause for thought. Giving my feelings room to be expressed will bring me a peaceful transition into the next phase of my life. The changes that are right for me will happen in their own good time if I trust they will. My job in all the changes is to stay calm and let it be ?

Day 340 of my blogging challenge.