Today is my 60th consecutive blog! I’ve doubled the target I set for myself when I took on Bradley Will‘s Learn to Blog challenge back in December. It feels a bit funny having got to another milestone. I’m almost reluctant to write about my day, as if, in some way, getting to 60 is the end of something. Yet tomorrow I can start on the next block of 30 days as I build myself towards my grand total of 1001 consecutive blogs. I’m not actually letting myself think about the grand total. Another 30 will do for me!
So why be reluctant? When I started to think about that feeling I recognised that I have lots of niggles about failure. In me is a perfectionist streak that has been honed to a fine point by the feedback from others when things I’ve suggested or tried have failed. For a lot of my life I’ve been surrounded by people who found it hard to celebrate their failure and, more importantly, failed to celebrate their success. Perhaps we were the ‘must try harder’ generation in school and life. The ones who nearly delivered but didn’t quite.
Even though my blog is becoming a regular habit – the best way to make sure I do it – there is still that fear of falling away from my promise to myself. Have I made it too hard on myself by setting such a ridiculously high target. My school motto was ‘Aim High’ and throughout my life I guess I’ve tried to do that. Perhaps my aim has been too high? Or not high enough? Because how big is high? I must have missed the classes where we were taught to celebrate everything we did – where failure was another word for creativity. That has been the hard part for me – learning that mistakes, muddles, messes were only ‘failure’ because the words had a negative connotation. Creativity is full of returning to the drawing board. An inspiration may need to be worked and worked until it’s form is what we wish it to be. I suspect that like cars & vacuum cleaners our ideas need some room to be tested to destruction too. Only then can we decide if we like what we have done. Perhaps success could best be defined as when we like or love what we have made, done, said or lived?
Over the last 60 days my creativity has been on public display. Have I liked what I’ve written? Mostly. Are their blogs that could benefit from being edited, rewritten or deleted? Probably. Have I enjoyed the freedom to post what I have created? Definitely. Is my blog a success. Absolutely. Am I going to keep going? Certainly! I hope you have enjoyed the highs and lows of my blogging endeavours. If you have stuck with me, or have dipped in & out, or perhaps only read this one thank you for taking the time to celebrate my creativity with me. I have no idea where this creative journey will take me but I intend to keep celebrating my creative ideas, good, bad or indifferent.
Day 60 of my blogging challenge.