Sometimes we think we are going forward. Suddenly we turn around and find we are back at the beginning. It seems as if all of our efforts have put us back exactly where we started. At this point it’s hard not to get discouraged. I often ask myself ‘What’s the point?’ when I feel like I’ve been bounced back to a scene from earlier in my life. Like in Monopoly when you chase around the board trying to stay out of jail or find an elusive get out of jail for free card. Every circuit of the board is effectively a new beginning, a set of fresh choices and an opportunity to make more mistakes. All governed by the random chance of the throw of a dice.
Yet somewhere along the line there has been progress. Foundations have been built and work is underway even if it’s below the surface or well out of sight. You might even ‘own’ something and have the resources to build more success. Returning to the beginning is an opportunity to see if the direction I am taking is the best one, or to brush up on things I have become complacent about or even a way to reconsider what I want from myself and life. I find it easy to brush aside my successes – most of us do. Going back to the beginning reminds me that there are things I’ve achieved, perhaps even when I didn’t think I could. It will soon be the second anniversary of the opening of my Down 2 Earth Heart Centre, three years since I returned to working in Hebden Bridge and ten years since I did my first public mediumship (a trance experience with Jean Duncan that I will always be grateful for).
When I decided to follow the prompts of my Guides ten years ago I’m not sure I realised how much mediumship would mean to me or its impact on my life. Through every frustrating, challenging and joyful moment of my development so far I can say that I have been following my life’s purpose and passion. I love working with Energy Beings so that I can be of service to others. I love that my lovely friend Maura gave me the title of ‘down to earth’ in an inspired moment. There have been so many moments when I knew that a heart had been made easier by what I could offer. Yet I have been back to the beginning time and again. When my Guides have swapped over and I have to learn a different way of working with the new one. When I’ve got stuck with confused energies, or Spirits who don’t want to talk, or been overcome by the emotions of someone’s personal situation. Each time I’ve had to remind myself how it all works for me, how to get it to hang together and how to do the best I can then let it go.
Returning to work in Hebden Bridge has been an experience too. For many years I did my counselling here (along with part-time barmaiding, playgrouping & NCT work) before discovering my connections with the Spirit World. A lot of my early mediumship teaching was done here too. Then came a gap when I worked out of the area. Coming back three years ago was definitely back to the beginning. This is where I started my self-employment in 1998, where I shared adventures with other small business people and from where I explored a vast range of spiritual opportunities. Some of the people I knew in that 1998 beginning have moved on, a few are still here and many more people are in the town offering a diversity of spiritual thought and practice. It’s an interesting mix. Being somewhat of a hermit type I have enjoyed reconnecting, rediscovering and refreshing my connections with people. I’ve also realised how much I have changed for the better. I recognise my strength of purpose has developed alongside my certainty of the existence of my connection to Energy Beings. I am prepared to say it how it is for me and to respect that others may not see it the same way. I have energy and commitment. I am always ready to learn more. No matter what the challenge I have stickability.
So next moth when I celebrate the second anniversary of my Centre I will be back at the beginning once again. Plans are underway for more improvements to the rooms, more activities are in the pipeline and the doors will be open more frequently for our third year. There are success stories from the people who have used the Centre that lift my heart. I have seen people come in weighed down, uncertain, confused and unsure of where they are going. I see those people now and they have made it past their return to the beginning. They have seized the chance to work it all out in a safe and supportive place. They have created brand new beginnings and got on with it. This journey isn’t without challenge. I have asked myself ‘what’s the point’ many times. My Guides have always been there reminding me that I can often see further than others. I can see the Spirit in someone fighting to shine through the ups and downs of life. I may not be able to help that Spirit today, tomorrow or any time soon but I’m in the right place to do so when the human being is ready to accept help. Not because I believe I’m some kind of saviour or that I have to rescue people, but because we signed a contract in the Spirit World, long before we came together down here, to be of assistance to one another. I believe that what you give out you get back. The help I can give will be returned to me when I am ready to accept it too.
Going back to the beginning is at the heart of making progress in our spiritual evolution. It’s the reason we choose to have many lives. It’s the opportunity to change direction. The opportunity to see how strong our Spirit truly is. So next time you find yourself back at the beginning, wondering why all the old feelings, thoughts and situations are apparently still around you, take a few moments to remember life is a sequence of beginnings. There is a fresh opportunity to change your choices, change your mind, change your outcomes. Pass go, collect your £200 and spend your resources wisely in building on what you already have as a solid foundation.
Day 106 of my blogging challenge.