I’ve had a phantom toothache for several days this week. It has followed on from an actual toothache in one of my wisdom teeth. I’d caught the gum when I brushed my teeth one evening so I got a sore gum and a mild infection. When this cleared up I was really relieved as I’ve heard that wisdom teeth can be a challenge to deal with if they start to cause problems. I was rather surprised on Tuesday to get pain back in the tooth though. And overnight it spread to the top of my jaw too. It was as if several teeth had developed sympath aches. Since the pain, without a cause, was as bad as the pain of the actual toothache I really wanted to be rid of it.
Reiki is always my first call for any healing. I’m not over keen on painkillers anyway so I started to work with the Universal energy. When I noticed the aches were still as strong as ever I decided I would need to look a little deeper into why my wisdom tooth & jaws were painful. As I thought about it I wondered if this was old pain, waiting to be released, that was busy resurfacing. We learn early in life what can and can’t be expressed emotionally in our families or in society. Often the more challenging emotions are held back to a greater or lesser extent. Feelings like anger, fear and grief can seem to be overwhelming when we express them. Often there are no words to really release the feelings. Screaming, groans, moans and formless sounds might be the only means of verbalising the emotional pain we are experiencing. However, we have picked up conditioning around if and when we can verbalise in this way. A lot of the time the sounds end up being held back. Behind clenched teeth, jaws firmly clamped shut, the words sit on the tongue waiting to be expressed. Often they end up being swallowed back to sit on the chest like a heavy lump.
As I reflected about the holding back of pain the ache in my tooth started to ease a bit. I wondered how many times and in how many lives emotional pain had made my jaws ache. I meet an awful lot of strong people, women especially, who are walking challenging journeys full of painful moments. There is a sort of suffering in silence expectation that they hold on to. Being strong seems to have ended up being linked with keeping the aches inside so that others have space to release their pain. Yet holding on to the pain actually creates more pain. Perhaps strength is also the ability to let the pain show, to break the silence and release the sound. This evening I was able to take myself off to the moor above my town. I sat in my car watching the light fade and I screamed. I carried on screaming. I screamed until I felt light headed. I felt tired but free. The phantom aches had disappeared. I had found some wisdom in the pain if an ache in my tooth. There is no need to analyse what pain I had been holding inside. Or what life it was from. All that matters is that I gave myself permission to release the feelings, to unclench my jaw and let the sound out.
It always amazes me how the body can communicate what the sub conscious or unconscious state of energy is. Our bodies are marvellous things. Even to the point of being able to manifest phantom aches to help us remove the deeper, stuck pain energy. Are you listening to your aches and pains? Have you thought about what your body might be trying to draw your attention to? Is it time to give voice to your pain and let it go once and for all? I recommend a good scream -it will work any time!
Day 172 of my blogging challenge.