One of the discussions I’ve had today has been about power. The use, abuse and lack of power. I’ve talked about the needs of the many out-weighing the needs of the few. I’ve promoted positivity. I’ve steered clear of fear and doubt. Looking after my aura energy I want to be an effective human being. How do I do that if I have no voice?
Anyone who has been following my blogs will know that they started as my way to find my writing voice. By taking on a challenge to write for 30 days I hoped to overcome what seemed like nearly unbeatable writers block. Shaky at first, then gaining more strength my writing voice is now firmly in place. I love doing my blogs. I’m passionate about ending my day with a thought-provoking hour of personal reflection. I watch amazed as the words fly onto the page or screen. Wow. I feel so powerful to be able to express myself. I don’t care that no one else might be reading them. This is my introspection time.
The feeling of power has been there all along. I just didn’t acknowledge it. That’s something that spins into the voice I use in other areas of my life. I’m a medium so my job is to go where I’m sent to represent the voice of the Spirit World or other Energy Beings. I have to say it’s not a job I actively applied for. It sort of descended on me in stages. Bit by bit I got used to standing up in rooms full of people to speak. I had no oomph at first. No real volume to my words. Unsteady, slightly embarrassed, almost apologetic. I was as unsure of my ‘subject matter’ as of my ability. Yet I stood as tall as I could and spoke. I worked to get better. One day I felt powerful enough to decide I’d done a good enough job. Wow again.
Here we go once more – I’m a slow learner!
The same process happened with my painting. I was dragged rather reluctantly back to my love of colour & paint. My Guides had to send someone down here in to help me. Yet as soon as I put paint on the canvas the first time I felt a stirring of excitement. On my way home I had to stop to get paint and paper. Of course I went through the same loop of uncertainty, gradually finding a comfort with expressing myself in art until I was painting only for myself and loving it. The pile of paintings grew. I moved into exploring pastels, watercolours, collage, glass painting. Anything and everything I could think of. My artist voice was beaming out from my paintings loud and strong. Wow once more.
It’s clear that I have been disempowering myself in major ways for most of my life. Taking back the power, even finding it in the first place, meant looking for my voice. The inner journey is never straightforward. I had to remove the voice of doubt, the voice of comparison, the voice of not good enough, the voice of you can’t, the voice of you won’t ever. No wonder it was hard to find my powerful voice. Every layer of voice that I discarded contained a belief about myself that I had soaked up from experiences, judgements, social conditioning. Hard beliefs to remove. Especially when the final voice I had to silence was the voice of fear.
Fear steals our voice more effectively than anything else. Fear takes away our power to act. Fear pushes us into being passive.
I’m a bit of a social media addict. I love reading my Facebook newsfeed to see what my friends are up to. Over the last few days fear has stalked my newsfeed. People are uncertain. The language they use may be of anger or hate or intolerance. However the root cause is fear. If I feel fear I also feel powerless. My words go unheard because I express myself in fearful terms. Being able to speak out is to regain my power. Every time I achieved that in my writing, speaking and painting the fear disappeared. It’s time for me and everyone else to take back power through our ability to speak out. To reclaim the right to say ‘Not in my name’. I am on a mission to use my power to express myself for a positive good.
I want to offer people the vision of a powerful, united world where we can all speak our truth in whatever form that takes. Speaking from love rather than fear. Empowering ourselves. Respecting what is said. Agreeing to disagree if that is the reality. Putting the needs of the many before the power of the few. Turning our communications up side down. Leave behind fear and all of those other voices that steal your power away. Please love yourself enough to find your positive voice and speak powerfully.
Day 223 of my blogging challenge.