I’ve thought a lot today about unleashing power. And what happens when I stop holding myself back. Of course it’s another Mercury retrograde theme. Because there are times when I feel powerless.
Unleashing implies that I have somehow restricted my power. Held it back. There is a part of me that finds it hard to own my power. Mainly because of judgements about what power represents. And all those stories of power being used for bad or wrong purposes. The abuses of power. Yet when I consider that Mercury retrograde is all about illusions – we never go back, only forward – I also wonder what I am doing by leashing my power. It’s as if I can’t be my whole, authentic self unless I use what I have been given. Until I run into that something inside of me that fears my own power. Perhaps that is at the heart of things in turbulent times. When the energy of change is demanding that I do things I’m not sure I can do I trip myself up.
I feel as if I am being called on to act. By unleashing my inner power to be me I can make more sense of all the turbulent energy ‘out there’. However that means dealing with the turbulent energy within me. Dealing with the part of me that shrinks from acknowledging that I can take action. That I can affect my inner and outer worlds by what I choose to do. Understanding that I have to bring my abilities to bear on the situations I find myself in. Finally, that I can be responsible for myself and the way the changes turn out. I forget the power that taking responsibility for myself can give me. The fearful bit of me doesn’t think I can make wise choices. It wants to hand responsibility over to someone or something else.
Because turbulent energy means I have no, or very little, idea where I might end up. It makes me uncertain. Until I remember that I have the power to do whatever is best for me. I can choose. And I can use all of my inner resources to stay steady until the change has passed.
Day 984 of my blogging challenge