Here in the UK many children have just finished or are starting exams. Tests designed to place a value on that child’s ability. Not necessarily for any useful purpose because ability is a variable that changes over time and circumstance.
But I don’t really want to talk about human based exams. They sift people out into bandings that can either enable or disable life choices. They also tag each one of us with a label which may result in a lifetime of missed opportunities. As I discussed the idea of exams with several people today my Guides were busy talking about spiritual exams. I hadn’t particularly thought about it before but I have been through a series of tests over the last 20 years. Tests designed to get me working on me. On my beliefs, values, attitudes and how they translated into my lifestyle.
One of these was my attitude to my physical body. Although I was a compulsive gym member in my 20’s and 30’s by my 40’s I’d sort of given up. Staying in shape seemed a bit pointless. My body shape was never going to match my ideal because my ideal was something I accepted from all of the influences around me. And women with big boobs are definitely not considered beautiful. Think how hard it is to find a pretty bra in a big size. Sexy – or a sex object (I lost count of the times men would talk to my boobs instead of my face) perhaps. But I was worn down with my body being defined by the two lumps that stuck out of my chest. Why keep in shape if they were never going to go away?
So how does this fit with a spiritual exam? What was the test I needed to pass?
Gradually it dawned on me that I had stopped loving my body. That also meant I had stopped providing my Spirit with the best possible accommodation. Yet how to get back on track? It took me an even longer time to realise that I had swapped my I enjoy exercise attitude for an exercise is hard viewpoint. So every time I wanted to do some exercise I sabotaged myself. No wonder my body got cranky with me. It started throwing aches and pains my way. Things stopped functioning properly. I wasn’t taking care of it so it wasn’t bothered about lasting out my lifetime in a state of wellness.
Last September I sat a series of spiritual exams. I didn’t know it was happening until afterwards. But I found myself signing up for a personal trainer. I also found myself wanting to remove sugar from my diet. Then I noticed that I wanted to have much more rest time in my schedule. I wasn’t quite myself. I had started to find a desire to be well. Physically well. As this journey has unforced I’ve mostly stuck at it. This weekend I realised that I was back to loving my body. Bust and all. I feel well. And I also feel fit. Not quite ready to run a marathon or cycle all day. But pleasantly comfortable with a body that is happy and generally pain free.
So what about the other spiritual exams? I know that I am being challenged to live my spirituality as much as talk about it.
There are also a few more energy waves like deep revision sessions rolling in. End of May and first couple of weeks in June, early August and mid September is the timetable according to my Guides. These periods are where I will be going back over old exam papers to check what I have learned. So I’m expecting some more testing. Bigger challenges. And a lot more lessons. I’m excited to be doing this work for several reasons. I will be able to see how far I’ve progressed in my journey. There will be some clear information about the progress I’m making in developing my abilities. Then I will also have a chance to look at where I want to go next.
Perhaps best of all, if my progress is going well I can move into the next tutor group. I’d like to go through the gateway to the next vibrational level. I feel ready to switch my focus into loving me much more. Doing all of the exercises needed to get me fit to offer more back out into the world. Because that is the real point. It’s important for my Spirit to be able to take on more work as there are big changes required to the way humans live their lives. Change is much easier if there is tough love support. That seems to be my spiritual purpose.
Passing my spiritual exams will show me that I’m ready to work at the next level of service. It’s time for me to look forward to getting through that gateway soon.
Day 540 of my blogging challenge