The weather today has been freezing cold. Back to Winter as the frost bites. It seems like Spring is still a long way away. Despite the recent celebration of Imbolc. Yet the crocuses in my planters are starting to flower. And snowdrops are everywhere.
Perhaps this freezing cold weather will be the last blast of Winter. But I’m not counting on it. Because I know we need the frost and ice. My plants respond to the seasons. They push upward then pause until the perfect flowering conditions are available. Just like me really. I’ve been in a freeze for most of January. Stopping and starting. Feeling the need to rest and store up energy. Then finding myself in the middle of frantic energies of growth. I’ve also found it rather confusing. A bit like the plants must when the seasons get muddled. I’ve wanted to rush into my new work. Then found myself stalled by circumstances. Or by my own doubts.
This freezing of action has made me doubt that I’m making any progress. Yet once I’ve got moving again I have felt sure that I am doing the right things for me. Of course I have had to remind myself that a freeze response clicks in sometimes when I feel fear. It does for all of us. That moment in the headlights when I can’t decide whether to run or fight. So I stand still awaiting my fate. When this happened I try to take very small steps. Like the moment I ordered my business cards for Embrace Intuitive Mentoring. Or when I messaged some people to ask them to do a book review for me. Neither action took more than a few moments. But both made me feel like I was making progress in what I want to do.
If the freeze hits you and you feel like all of your action energy has drained away find a small thing to do. Make a call. Write a plan in your diary. Go for a coffee and discuss your options with a friend. Remind yourself that you a can and you will. Celebrate your progress in achieving at least that one step. And remind yourself that when you have taken one step you can always take another.
Day 802 of my blogging challenge
I’m siting here using my pointer. Or is it a dobber? Even a stylus? It’s a sort of pen thingy so I can push the buttons on my iPad. With a soft bit so it is kind to my screen.
I came across my pointer because I had hurt my index finger. Tapping away at the keyboard on my screen was painful. But how to write my blog? Of course I could have tried speech recognition. Talking it into the iPad. But would Siri make any sense of my muddled up Lancastrian/Yorkshire accent? I’m a bit too hazy how good he is at getting all the words down. What if it didn’t make any sense at all and I had forgotten what I said? So I have a dobber. What my auntie calls the big pen she uses for bingo.
Of course I know it’s sold as a stylus. Another writing implement. And that is what it’s helping me do. It’s like an extension of my finger. Happily hitting all of the right buttons as I do my best, fastest two finger typing. You might by now be wondering why I’m talking about a pointer. Rambling in fact. But that’s the point. I often forget the devices that make life simpler for me. The little things that are the perfect solution to my problem. Because I’m often looking for big answers. Solving things completely not just for a bit.
I get a pointer from my Guides most days. They bring in the little pieces of information or support that will help me with the problem directly in front of me. It’s me who can’t see it.
I’m still looking for the wave of a wand that will solve the whole issue. It’s like not trusting the voice software. It could solve one of my writing issues. The time it takes me to type. I can speak much faster. Yet I’m stubbornly refusing to use it. The pointer is there. The stylus is jabbing me in the back. The dobber has gone off in a sulk. I could make things easy for myself but I don’t. I sometimes have to laugh at myself. I’m still following the ‘if it is too easy it’s not going to be good’ idea.
This is an old bit of stuck energy about the value of something is increased if it’s hard work. I wonder how many of us fall into judging ourselves by that standard. Instead of being glad or excited that something has turned out to be really easy. So I get on with things still waiting for the pointer to the fast but hard work solution. I realise I need to value myself in a different way. And value the dobber and stylus as ways to get me into doing things in a slightly easier way.
Small steps. Leading eventually to doing whatever will be easiest. And praising myself for a job well and easily done.
Day 595 of my blogging challenge