Wander Down Memory Lane To Bring Spirit People Closer

wanderI took a wander down Memory Lane today. I was driving through the places of my childhood and young adulthood. Places that I only visit now and again. Noticing the changes. Seeing what had stayed the same.

Lots of people crowded my head. Some of them spoke to me with pride that I remembered them. Memories of good, or not so good, times flooded in. Each connection another link in the chain from me to them. It reminded me that we can all wander to the places where our loved ones are still alive. I always think about something I understood from a very early age. I have no idea when or where I heard or got told this. But I know that loved ones stay with us until the last person who remembers them has died too. Then the Spirit family can move on together as a complete group. An important piece of information that my loved ones confirmed for me.

They don’t wander off. They still take an interest in what I am doing. Even though some in my family have been gone for a very long time now. It’s a way of keeping them alive too. So I tell my daughter stories about her ancestors. We discuss how alike our lives are to the ones of family members who have passed over. Or how different. I share the jokes and laughter. The funny stories. And the photos of all their smiling faces. Because I know that they are sitting with us laughing at the stories, the photos and the lives. They made it through the adventure of life somehow. That gives me great hope too. Because no matter where I wander and what I do my family in Spirit will be with me. Encouraging and cheering me on.

I know they will do the same for all of our family still down here. And they will wait until we are all assembled in the pink perfect. Then we will have the biggest party ever to celebrate all of the generations making it home safely. When you get a bit lost in the stress of life take a wander with your loved ones in Spirit. They would love to create more memories with you.

Day 945 of my blogging challenge

Restless, Inspired, Creating, Tired

Where did the restless feeling come from? I was tired enough last night to sleep for a week. Yet I couldn’t stop creating in my mind. The incoming energy inspired more and more ideas.

I do get those nights. When the tide of energy flowing around and into the world energises me. It’s as if tiredness is swallowed up by impatience instead. My brain starts throwing out big ideas when my body wants some downtime. Sleep disappears. Instead I have to get up and do something. It was one of those nights last night. In fact I ended up writing a list of all the new possibilities. When I get some refreshing sleep I know I’ll be able to put many of the ideas into practice. Yet there was, underneath it all, a restless feeling.

That ‘itchy feet’ kind of feeling emerged in the middle of the ideas. Is it time to move on to something else I wondered. My mind fidgeted around the edges of the inspirations coming in. Am I feeling like it’s too much of the same old same old I thought. What exactly was I being restless about? My personal life? My working life? Life, the Universe and everything? I also wondered if this was part of why I couldn’t get to sleep. I found myself having a side conversation with myself about my tendency to be impatient. Often I want ‘it’ and I want ‘it’ now.

It, of course, can be anything. It’s all very well reading the leading edge of the energy coming in but it can make you restless for everything to happen all at once.

Now we are clearing the Mercury retrograde energy of course everything will resume going forward. It’s just that I’d like it to go from 0-60 in about 3 seconds, please. And I also know it won’t happen like that. As I sipped a cup of herbal tea I realised that this time the fidgety feeling was about new challenges. It connects to the way I find it hard to let go and move on. If I’m not careful I dress my old ideas up in new clothes and pretend that they are new inspirations. I tell myself I’m seeing them for the first time from this point of view so they must be fresh. I checked the list I’d written down.

Then I crossed off some of the ideas. They were old inspirations trying to pretend they were new. The ego at work wanting to keep me in my comfort zone. Ah! I thought. I’ve been on this spot before. About this time of year too. When I was planning for last year’s new adventures. What I needed to do was sort out the new opportunities from the same old same old. No wonder I was restless. Creating a new future takes positive energy. Theses old ideas would hold me back if I wasn’t careful. Perhaps the tiredness was fighting a battle with the manifesting energy.

That realisation sent me off to bed again. To get some rest by putting away my thoughts for the future.

Using one of my favourite mantras I snuggled down under the covers. Time to let the tiredness in again and release the restless feelings. They had done their job. I was alert to the realisation that I might encourage myself to manifest safety instead of risk. What I create with my intentions might not be the new future. Instead I could possibly make for myself more limitations. As I repeated my mantra I became aware of a very old part of me becoming visible. The part that connects to lack of love.

I know we all experience conditional love whilst we are human. But that old part of me was grieving for the unconditional love I experienced as a Spirit. When we incarnate as a human being we have to leave the pink perfect behind. It’s our experiences here, in the absence of unconditional love, that makes us yearn for that other world. That brings us closer to an understanding of the Divine nature of exsistence. No wonder I am restless. I want to be wrapped in and immersed in that warm energy sea of love. To float in pure, unconditional love along with everyone else. I drifted off to sleep creating a human world where that would be my reality. I hope it manifests here soon ?

Day 420 of my blogging challenge.

Going Home Once Again

imageThe last day of our retreat holiday has arrived. Both of us want more time here. I’m reluctant to pack everything up or get ready. Leaving is hard work.

I’ve stayed in my pjs most of the day. It’s like I’m reluctant to get dressed. As soon as I do I know we will have started the journey home. Even if we don’t set off straight away. I do want to go home. I have cats who will have missed us. There are things to do, not least my book and the Centre, and I want to sleep in my own bed again. I’m reluctant because I know I’m going back to the hustle and bustle of a busy life. Don’t misunderstand. I choose to be busy because I love the work I do. Yet I know I need times when I can withdraw from all of my commitments so I can look at things from a different point of view.

I was thinking about this and the journey home when one of my Guides popped in. He’s a lovely man who made the final journey home not that long ago really.

One of the hardest things to face is that final journey home. Many Spirits come back to talk to their loved ones still rather torn between the peace of the Afterlife and the passion of wanting to still be here in the lives of their loved ones. We have to face up to the fact that we don’t know when we will be making our last trip home. It’s hard to prepare for but it will happen. I know that my understanding of past lives helps me with this. Returning to the Pink Perfect of Afterlife is like being on a retreat or holiday. Yet it is the first home we came from and the place we are certain to go back to.

This trip to Earth is really only a short time of busyness before returning to be with the rest of the people we care about. Looking at my life as a series of trips, including in all my past lives, I know I can choose to be here or to be there. And that wherever I am I can still be present in the lives of all the people I care about. That’s what my Guides represent. Something that is called the continuous existence of the human soul in spiritualist principles. Life goes on on both sides of the divide. The connections may be patchy or non-existent at times but the links are still there.

It may be that I never return to the little sandy bay in Scotland where I’ve spent some lovely time. I will have memories. It may be that I visit a different sandy beach somewhere else in the world. There will be new memories.

Going home is about returning to my base, my foundation. Not bricks and mortar or a place. My foundation is the inner me. The me who fell to earth many years ago. That source me who will retreat to another existence after my physical body stops working. When it’s my time I may be reluctant but I will still go. It’s one of the truths of life.

Day 262 of my blogging challenge. 

Wolf Running

Grey Wolf (Canis lupus)

Grey Wolf (Canis lupus)

I often get asked about my Guides. Or to tell people about their Guides. As a reluctant medium I’m also reluctant to talk about Guides in anything other than general terms. I prefer people to work out their own relationships with their Guide Team because then you know what is true for you.

Today I had a lovely discussion with some friends about my Gatekeeper Guide. A Gatekeeper Guide is the one who stays with you all the way through your life. From the moment you decide to fall to Earth until the moment you are back in the Pink Perfect this Spirit will walk alongside of you. The job of this particular Guide is to remind you why you came here. It’s also to keep you on plan. And to give you early warning when you are drifting away from your true purpose. Of course I didn’t listen to my Gatekeeper for most of my life. It’s a good job he was prepared to be patient!

I realised as I spoke about my Gatekeeper that explaining why he was with me and how I found him was relevant to other people looking to make a connection with their Guides. So with his permission I am going to tell you our story. I’m aware that some people will find it hard to accept what I say. That doesn’t actually matter. The important thing is to dispel the mystery around Guides.

In come the wolves

When I started to explore my intuitive senses I had no idea about being a medium. Or actually about being in contact with Guides or any other sort of Energy Being. I was on a search for spiritual understanding. In several meditations I found myself surrounded by wolves. There was always one beautiful, blue eyed, light coated wolf who seemed to be leading of the pack. I loved the energy they brought me. As I expanded my understanding the wolves came more often. They became my protectors. They still work with me now. The wolves were my first clue.

Of course I had been working on my own past lives for years. So the next clue should have been obvious. I went along to several vision quest events and always seemed to end up with a head full of the sights and sounds of a Native American village. These experiences were very vivid. I knew very little about the traditions of the Tribes. Yet when I went in search of information it seemed my recall had an unexpected level of detail. Eventually I also discovered the aches and pains of that life. Literally. When you work with past lives your body ‘remembers’ the dis-ease in that energy life. If you seek information your body will also show you by developing symptoms.

Grey Wolf and I: our Past Life together

Still not putting the pieces together I started into developing my mediumship. At first all I could sense was as if someone was standing behind me. Sometimes I saw an large eye. Now and again there was a wave of warm loving energy. Over time I started to recognise a familiar feeling. It was as if I knew this energy. There was a connection. I could feel myself pulled towards this other ‘person’. Then I had a sequence of dreams. In each dream I was talking to a man. In each dream he looked different. By the third dream I knew it was the same person. I remember saying I know it’s you no matter which face you wear. The dreams stopped but my ‘person’ started to become much stronger.

I caught glimpses of him. I asked his name. He gave me a nickname to use. I asked him why I felt so strongly connected to him. He said because. No matter what I asked about him personally he replied with jokes or no answer at all. At the same time I found all sorts of books about Native American history kept turning up. People gave them to me as gifts. Or passed them on to me because they had read them. I finally read a book called Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee. It hit home very hard. After I finished it the pains in my right knee, side and shoulder made perfect sense. They were the wounds that had killed me.

The past is the past

A few nights after that I lay in bed talking to my Gatekeeper. I told him I knew where we had been together last. I also knew that he had not intended me to die. His love for me was so strong that he had carried a sense of guilt and blame back into the Spirit World. His decision to stay there and help me from that side of life was all about protecting me better. He had made his presence known so slowly because he thought I would reject him. In those moments I understood why he had been testing me. He wanted to make sure that I could accept him and work with him. As we spoke and I released him from the promise he had made himself he told me his true name. That is when Wolf Running took his place fully beside me.

Now we work together to unite the two worlds by sharing understanding and knowledge with others. Often people find that meeting with their Guides is slow, tentative, frustrating. When you deepen your connection with the Energy Beings you also start to clear the past life karma that has been between you. Be patient with yourself and your Guides. There might be many very valid reasons why they are reluctant to step forward in a rush. They value the relationship you are building with them. Look for the clues they send you. I know I missed quite a few! Be open to the story behind your decision to work together. Enjoy the process of discovery. I love that I have such a devoted Gatekeeper. He loves that I am finally listening. We run with the wolves together.

Day 227 of my blogging challenge.

Endings, beginnings, eternity

images-34Today we celebrate the last hours & minutes of 2015. Has it been a good year? A challenging year? Or a bit of both? Whatever it has been is now in your past. It’s gone and can’t be returned to (unless you have a handy Time Lord with you). Cherish the positive memories & place them in safekeeping. Let go of the mistakes, failings, challenging or difficult times. You survived them anyway and will have grown stronger as a result (even if that doesn’t feel to be the case at the moment).

As you step across the bridge from past to future there is only the brief moment of now to enjoy. I’m enjoying doing this blog right now. The words are coming along easily, flowing in a one finger typing way out onto the screen in front of me. The radio is playing Mr Blue Sky. It’s upbeat rhythm and jolly tune are getting my feet tapping under the desk. Other things are coming along. New experiences. I’m excited to be spending New Year with my daughter & our friend in a town that is building forward from a significant challenge. Half my attention is on the meal we are going to share. Our midnight toast will be to better times & joyful experiences to come.

In the Spirit World there is no time as we know it. It’s an eternal now. Each moment is a complete experience in itself. There is no need of time because as Spirit we have let go of measuring out days, weeks, ourselves, anything. In an eternal ‘now’ our experiences are what they are. Each moment contains both the ending and the beginning in a sort of chicken & egg way. We can move from beginning, middle and end in any order – logic doesn’t apply when there is no time. Dreams are our closest way of understanding how it is in the Pink Perfect. There is no muddle, confusion or lack of understanding. We direct our Spirit from moment to moment in a way that makes the best sense.

So as you stand in the second, as one time period ends and another begins, remember that time is relative – it doesn’t have to rule your life if you don’t want it to. Enjoy your New Year moment and eternally step smoothly into your new beginning. I wish you a full flow of abundance in every moment of your life.

Day 45 of my blogging challenge.

Reflections in a Christmas Moon

mouseThere will be a full moon on Christmas Day – the first for 38 years. As I drove home from visiting family I thought about how much my life has changed in 38 years. Back then I was unlikely to have paid any attention to what the moon was doing on Christmas Day. I was a young adult almost too cool for the magic of the holiday season. As had happened in other years I spent my day at my parents house with my shiny new fiance in tow. There had been a lot of negotiating to make it possible to be with my parents for dinner and not his. I vaguely remember promising to go to his parents the next year. Of course, a precedent had been set so my Mum’s was where we went for Christmas dinner every year.

Even when first husband was a distant memory the tradition of gathering at my Mum’s house continued. Seeing the family expand to grandchildren, partners, parents of partners, aunties was fascinating. The memories I have of those Christmas day gatherings are very special. Somehow we all had roofs over our heads, we were working, we could look forward to gifts, a hearty meal and plenty of it. I’m not sure I counted those blessings enough. Today I drove past the house my Mum & Dad built. They worked so hard to provide for us. There were always presents no matter how much scrimping and saving had to go on for the rest of the year. We were fortunate enough to have new clothes, shoes and coats every year.

I remembered when I was finally allowed to join in the truth behind the best kept secret ever. About age 9 I was allowed to help my Mum wrap the presents that Santa can’t always get round to. He’s very busy so he has a lot of honorary elves – like my Mum – who give him a hand. I was sworn to secrecy too and each Christmas Eve afterwards I joined her as a trainee elf. Santa always kept my presents back so I could get a surprise in the morning too & the secret would remain safe. Tonight, on another Christmas Eve, I’m about to be an honorary elf again. I love my tradition of wrapping my daughter’s presents late at night waiting for a magical day to begin.

The magic isn’t in any religious tradition really. The magic is that parents all over the world, at this time of year, celebrate that wonderful gift – children. There is something so awesome about your child waking you up overflowing with excitement, bouncing with energy, fully caught up in the mystery of it all. It’s a belief in magic that can easily & quickly be stripped away by the reality of life. There are families who don’t have a roof over their heads, or are unable to afford a decent meal or who have become so disjointed that the sense of togetherness has all but disappeared. It is so easy to loose the connection with one another. There are real challenges in a world where we are prepared to let children starve or be killed.

I was counting my blessing over and over on the way home. I left a brand new family enjoying all the anticipation of their son’s first Christmas. I thought about the pride of the grandma who told us how excited her four year old grand-daughter was to know that Santa was on his way. I have my family around me tonight as we follow our family traditions. I also have my family of friends who have been popping in and out all month to bring alive the connections we share. I have precious memories of Christmas Past to warm my heart. I have ‘A Visit From St Nicholas’ running through my head. I must have said it a thousand times already for my daughter but still we share a giggle over the recitation of the poem.

The only people I don’t have on the Earth are my Mum & Dad. They returned to the pink perfect within a short time of each other. Yet I have them in the Spirit World. I know that they can be everywhere, every when so I’m sure that tomorrow they will look in on every one of our families to share the love, joy and celebration of each of us. They gifted us life and as Spirit they care deeply that we live as well as we can. No matter what your family circumstances you will be surrounded by love tomorrow as you always are. Take a moment of time to sense their presence and feel that love.

Now I have presents to wrap! And in case you have forgotten the Night Before Christmas –

By Clement Clarke Moore

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,
With a little old driver so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the housetop the coursers they flew
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too—
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack.
His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

Day 38 of my blogging challenge.

My psychic life: Day 16

Pink-wallpaper-pink-color-10579414-1280-1024Today I decided to tidy my desk. I usually work in a messy muddle – 2 diaries, Partylite orders, my jotter & healing journal, post-it note reminders, contact details, scrap paper with ideas to follow up, books and a pending tray that overflows into the paperclips, sellotape, stapler & pens. I have a vision board, my crystals, the phone & a box of assorted tea bags alongside my box of tissues, a candle & keys. Probably not much different from any desk (with a keyboard, mouse, PC & printer added in). I know I’m a bit of a hoarder so it was time to throw away all those flat batteries, the bits of blue tac that had gone hard & much of the sea of paper that was surrounding me. So I began. As I sifted through things I was reminded how hard I find it to let some things go. I tend to think it will have a use again, or that I might need all those bits of paper when I misplace an address for a contact, or it’s been with me so long I like it too much.

Clearing the desk turned out to be the theme of my day. Letting go is hard if there is a lot of emotion attached to what has to be let go – not only positive emotions but negative emotions too. Several people called around as I was working on my task. Each one of them reminded me that letting go is hard because we have to deal with the grief of loss – loss of a home, money, a job, a person, death. We cope much better with the loss of material things because we can usually go & buy another thing somewhat like the one we lost – perhaps even better. I remember when we had to write off my 10 year old car because of a crash. She was like family & at my daughter’s request I helped her (the car) cross over into vehicle heaven. Yet I also got a replacement car that is well on the way to being family too. Loosing my two dogs & a cat when it was time for them to make the journey home was much harder. These wonderful pets had been loyal to me, my comforters & guardians.

It was harder because the grief was deeper. And that is what follows loss – grief. Having both my parents return to the Spirit World is the deepest grief I have yet had to face. Time has moved me on from shock, disbelief & through anger, despair & sadness into acceptance. I have healed but the scar – the mark & momento of that loss – is ever present. It helps to understand & have confirmation that they have not disappeared forever. That in my communication with the Spirits I can connect to both my parents. What I miss is the ease with which I could go & see them or talk to them on the phone & know they would be here to help immediately if I needed them. Not that I can’t have those things from my connection to their world but it is, somehow, different.

While I was thinking about what made the difference I remembered something my daughter said when she was only little. We were looking out of the window watching the world go by when she sad to me that she didn’t want to be here. She was perfectly serious. She said she wanted to go back. She said again she wanted to go back to where it was all pink & perfect. I had to explain that she had chosen to come here so she would have to stay until she had finished all her Earth jobs. She was sad. She told me how much she missed her home in the pink perfect. Today I was reminded that we all want to go back to the pink perfect. We spend half of our lives battling against being here in the first place & then the second half of our lives trying to finish our jobs as quickly as possible so we can get back there to be with everyone else.

In my work I support as many people as I can who are grieving. Most often the grief is related to the events in their lives. But underneath, in a layer of energy they often can’t sense, they are mourning the temporary loss of an existence filed with unconditional love. Our world of conditional love can never quite make up for that loss – no matter how hard we play the game of life & tell ourselves we are happy. I feel that it’s time for us to learn to acknowledge that first loss, recognise the grief & then remind ourselves that we are headed back to the pink perfect one day. If we all admitted the grief, dealt with the feelings & allowed that we could experience life here in the same way as the pink perfect (provided we could learn to love each other unconditionally) we really would be creating heaven on earth.