It’s funny really. I have always had a streak of perfectionism. The desire to be good, better, best. To get it right every time. An inner competition with myself that I could never win.
That thought cropped up several times today. I know I was being asked to focus on what being good enough means. There is an underlying assumption that spiritually equals goodness. So if I’m living a spiritual life I have to be good. But by what standards? The religion I was brought up in? Where it meant being quiet, following the rules and always doing what others expected of me. Or the definition set down in our law? Telling the truth, not harming anyone and, once again, following the rules. Maybe I should be following the conventions about being female? I should be quiet, nurturing, accepting and doing the homemaking. So many standards to be perfect in.
Too many in fact. Being good when it equals being perfect is a lot of hard work. And I have to resolve conflicting rules rather too much. Over many years I’ve come to appreciate that being spiritual isn’t about applying yet another set of rules to myself. It’s actually about me going back to who I am and the way I want to be in the world. I can choose to value my kindness. Or my forcefulness. I can praise my problem solving ability. Or I can recognise how good I am at being a hearer. And a healer. But I don’t have to be these things perfectly in every moment. I can be good enough to the best of my ability. From moment to moment. I can value myself for what I can offer because it will be the best I can give at that time.
When I operate from ‘good enough’ I value myself more appropriately. I can give what I feel able to give. Not what I feel compelled to give because of some unattainable standard. Saints and holy people don’t exsist. But Good Enough people have changed the world for the better. Have you been good enough today? I know I have.
Day 626 of my blogging challenge