Travelling ever northward: in search of a new land!

I’ve been up and about since five am this morning. Taking a series of trains to get over to the Orkney isles. Further north than I’ve ever been. Heading northward to discover a new land.

Yet I also feel called to this place. Perhaps I’m about to discover one of my past lives? Before heading northward I’ve had several days of a niggling anxiety. Everything has been planned. But I couldn’t help feeling that something was going to go wrong. The fact that everything has gone so smoothly today has been a great delight. After all what could really go wrong? What was I imagining? I’m not even sure I know now I’m nearing the end off this all day journey. We have even been blessed with a calm sea. Great for someone like me who suffers sea sickness if the waves look like they are going to be higher than three inches.

So what is the journey northward about? It started when I watched a TV programme about an archeological dig on Orkney.

At a place called the Ness of Brodgar. A site that apparently pre dates the pyramids and Stonehenge. Older than Ggantija in Malta. That caught my attention. I’ve been to Malta to the temple several times. And visited the Hypogeum temple too. The sense of Divine Feminine energy was very strong in Malta. I wondered if it would be the same in Orkney. Then they suggested that the stone circles, like the one called the Ring of Brodgar, were the first known monuments of this kind in the country. The circles spread from Orkney down the rest of the UK.

Of course it made perfect sense that I wanted to see and sense for myself if there was any Goddess energy still left in these places. The waves of energy around us at the moment are returning out focus to our own feminine energy. As human beings we have both feminine and masculine energy in all of us. A part to create and a part to make that creation real. I know we have been stuck in the ‘making it real’ part for far too long. For thousands of years creativity has been hedged about with structures that hinder the intuitive leaps forward that are at the very heart of that creativity. It’s become very hard to think the unthinkable. Let alone make sure it happens.

This northward journey can help me connect back to a different point of creativity. If I can step into that ancient energy.

That is the key. If there is a past life connection of any kind I hope to release any karmic patterns that prevent me from accessing my creativity. I’d also like to tune into the background energy to understand where these more northward peoples came from. What their history and heritage was. That’s why I’m excited about going to see the dig site. And I never know what else I might be asked to do. The fact that I’m going tells me that the Spirit World will most likely have a bit of work for me to do too. Probably on myself. But I never know. I might be there for service to someone else too.

Yes it is a holiday. Some time out for me. But I love my work with my Guides. They are taking me northward because they know I will enjoy it. And if they feel they can kill two birds with one stone, so to speak, they will certainly do do. I feel like this long journey is all part of the process. We could have flown here. Or had an overnight stop. But when I was planning the trip I thought about the journey our ancestors must have made. In boats on the open and uncertain North Sea. No power but the wind in the sails and oars if becalmed. It must have been a much more epic journey than today.

Northward it is then. Adventure awaits. I’m ready to explore.

Day 598 of my blogging challenge

Healer, Teacher, Beggar, Queen: A Life

I’ve been out and about today. It was time to be a teacher again and present a Past Lives workshop with a fab group in Darwen, Lancashire. It was a great day.

Since past lives have fascinated me for forty years I love the opportunity to share what I know with people. As I uncovered my own past lives I started to see the patterns of karmic energy that I had woven into this life too. In fact being a teacher is a key ability that I’ve carried with me through many lives. Not always successfully of course. But working life after life to get better at sharing my knowledge and experiences in the best way for others.  That goes for all the other things I teach. My workshops come from my heart connection to those past lives where I experienced first hand what I teach about now.

I find it interesting to be experienced in something I haven’t actually done in this life. But with access to my past life records it seems I have all sorts of information I can share. This happenes with more than just my teacher lives. I have a number of healing lives that help me work as a healer today. Whether with energy medicine or talking therapies. Even life mentoring includes an element of past life healing work. Then there are the beggar lives and queen lives that still dog me in this one. I float between lack and excess as I work to balance the karma from both those kind of lives. In between is an abundant life that I’m striving to live now so that I end the wobbly balancing act. As I tackle lack and excess on one theme another one is waiting to pick me up again.

That’s what I love about being the teacher. Explaining to myself why I’ve got into these karmic cycles and figuring the way out of them.

Though I did point out to the group today that working out the karmic bigger picture was really difficult as I am in it and living it. So in the end I am still only trying to do my best. Seeing if it all worked out ok will come when I go back to the Spirit World and take a look at my life plan. I will be able to see if my free will choices kept me on track for where I wanted to go. Or not. Then I suspect I will sit down with everyone and work out the fine details of my next life. Life and karma agree. What goes around comes around. Getting the chance to teach in this life has helped me share that vital point with many people. And to help them make better choices too.

Of course I don’t escape doing past life work either when I’m teaching. I couldn’t sleep last night. I was restless. All sorts of stray, random thoughts kept coming to mind. This morning my body ached. But I recognised those aches. They belong to another life. A life that has been holding me back for a little while now. Leading the group through a meditation to release karmic consequences let me focus on releasing my stuck past life energy too. The teacher gets a reward for teaching. As I drove home I thought about all of the releasing that had happened. Brining the stories to the surface, acknowledging the patterns in this life and understanding why those lives continue to affect us. That give me and others a positive choice for our future experiences. They can be handled in a different way.

I’m grateful to be a teacher. I love my subject – life, the Universe and everything. I can’t wait for the next chance to share my experience and wisdom with others. Here’s to many more workshops!

Day 579 of my blogging challenge 

Regret… I’ve had a few… Many…

Regret is a natural consequence of making choices. That though surfaced today as I discussed someone’s past life recollections.

It started a reflection for me too. How much regret do I carry? And do I still need to? Because that’s the issue with regret. If I feel I carry too much then does it impair or stop my current decisions about what I do? Does my mind over think, assume and delay choosing? Am I trying to avoid all consequences. In reality is that possible? One thing I have learned in 40 years of past life work is the truth that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Choices have consequences. Decisions count. Because even now I am dealing with energy consequences I set up for myself in my past lives.

It’s important that I don’t let myself get paralysed by a fear of choosing. Regret is a natural human emotion but it shouldn’t stop me from taking action in my life. It often surfaces long after the choice has been made. When I’m wondering what if? Perhaps most often if I feel like I got something badly wrong. Is that a good reason to stop choosing? I don’t think it is. In the end I have to move forward. That is the nature of living. Mistakes get made. There is fall our from what I have said or done. But who am I to judge? I’m close to the action, so to speak, unable to really see the big picture. If I did something but it turned out to have positive consequences would it be right to regret it?

Looking back is helpful. Recognising that a choice made may have had unforeseen or unexpected consequences may bring regret. However the lesson to take from regret is to try to do it better next time. And then continue making the best choices I can.

Day 531 of my blogging challenge 

Recognising Past Life Wisdom

Today’s topic seems to be recognising past life wisdom. It’s come up in several discussions. It even popped up in my Letter From The Light Side this evening.

I’ve been working with past lives for forty years so it’s one of my favourite topics to talk about. Whether I’m figuring out my own lives, doing past life readings or teaching how to access them the subject still fascinates me. Because I believe our past life patterns present us with the wisdom of those experiences. As well as creating the blocks in this life. It’s not necessarily about good or bad karma. It’s about how many of my previous life threads need to recognising now. What vows, consequences and lessons are still running in this life?

Often it’s about the threads that twine together to make a chord. How I have anchored this life in the energy of my past lives. And what I can do to cut that chord. Balance the energy I have created. Deal with the consequences. But recognising the patterns can be a bit of a challenge. Because the threads often act as limiting factors in my life it can be hard to see the pattern. After all, the first step is to understand that I am limiting myself at all. Perhaps I’m not quite as confident of my skills as I could be. Or I feel that my purpose is only about helping others. Even that the law of attraction doesn’t seem to work for me. All of these things can be the effect of past life choices.

Making an effort to recognise patterns and habits is a good first step. I have to ask myself what keeps repeating in my life.

Is it that I always seem to pick the same type of partner? Do I always get scared when someone says it’s my turn to lead the team? Am I living in a place that doesn’t seem to fit me? Or have an occupation that I’m not at all passionate about? Most of these things can be viewed as the normal things that happen in my lifetime. Yet perhaps the same sort of issues about these things keep cropping up. No matter how much I’m trying to change my patterns. It’s at that point that I reach for my past lives eyes. Can I see the events of my current life as if it was a story of another life?

Recognising that there might be another sub plot going on underneath the surface of the way I live is helpful. I can let myself imagine what that other life might be. What could have happened to make me live my life in certain ways? Did I take vows of poverty in some religious order? Or on more than one occasion? Do I have a belief in this life that I shouldn’t have too much? In this way I might be able to see that my other life vows are preventing me from accepting the abundance that is all around me. I might never be comfortably off until I release myself from that promise. Then I might see the threads of this life that began in a little terraced house with parents struggling to make ends meet.

Recognising what has also happened to me in this life I can start to see another pattern. That I shaped my choices about this life so I could use my past life wisdom.

Every life teaches me something. All lives are about evolution of my Spirit. Growing in my understanding of Unconditional love, forgiveness, gratitude and service. Struggles in past lives need not be struggles in this life. If I recognise the threads of karmic energy I also start to be aware that I’ve met these experiences before. Perhaps I didn’t make the best choices then and that’s why the situations have come in with me again. But I can consider those past life stories and my limitations. I can help myself to understand that to get abundance I have to be open to receive it. If I make a vow not to then quite plainly I won’t. So instead of saying I never have enough I can choose to say I am open to receive everything I require.

A different choice brings a different outcome. When recognising that I also need to trust in a different outcome. So many times I have released vows but forgotten to trust that it can be different. My choice gets cancelled out because I don’t believe it will happen for me anyway. That’s why I love the puzzle of past lives. Wisdom is only effective when I choose to use it fully and trust myself to know what is best. Not easy to do if a karmic thread is throwing up doubt for my abilities. Or the life I have led has made it hard to let the Universe take control. Yet I still want to embrace the wisdom of my past lives. No matter what consequences I have to balance out my life can only get better.

Day 521 of my blogging challenge 

Reborn Every Day To Start Again

I have been thinking all day about the idea of being reborn. Of the tradition which suggests we have many lives. That we die and then live again. The Easter story brings such possibilities to mind.

Of course it’s not only the Easter story that talks about rebirth. Or resurrection. There are many traditions which say we die and come back. I have been fascinated by Past Lives for forty years. But I also like the idea that I am reborn every day and can start again. There is another tradition in certain stories. That the world disappears every night when I close my eyes to go to sleep. Then pops back into existence when I wake again. I guess I’ve thought about that a lot. Because I’m curious. And I like to know how these things work. So I look for evidence all the time.

Yet I’m not sure I can find evidence for the destruction and reconstruction of my world every time I go to sleep. So instead I prefer to think about the opportunity I’m being given every day to be reborn. I can wake up and choose to be different than yesterday. That me has disappeared. She is gone. Only I choose how much of her I carry forward into today. I find that really refreshing. Also it frees me. I can interpret myself for today in any way I wish. I can start afresh. Will I leave behind my impatience? Or my desire to control? Will I do more random acts of kindness? Or smile at people a whole lot more? It’s exciting. Because what I set my intention to is what will happen, mostly.

Of course old habits take awhile to fade away. But knowing I can be reborn every morning to live my day a different way inspires me to try my best. To begin again with a clean slate. And to aim for the best from myself. Perhaps the world would be very different if we believed in being reborn every day.

Day 510 of my blogging challenge 

Silent, Still, Paying Attention

Today has been about paying attention. To live an intuitive life it’s something I have had to learn to do. Being open to signs, symbols, messages of all sorts from everywhere.

As we grow up we have to learn to pay attention. My parents wanted me to do so. My school teachers also placed a lot of value on my paying attention. They all told me it was the way to learn. In work I had to pay attention too so that the right things would happen. I have spent my whole life paying attention. But to what? Mostly to duty, responsibility and all those things that others believe I should notice. Often at the expense of things that I wanted to take notice of. And certainly at the expense of the intuitive senses I have.

For instance, it took me a long time to start paying attention to my dreams. And to the coincidences that seemed to litter my life. Even to the thoughts pushed into the background by my focus on the day to dayness of living a material life. When I wanted to uncover my past lives I finally learned that I needed to observe the background thoughts. To look for the patterns that were present in my life. Because all sorts of intuitive information way trying to get into my attention. I began to notice much more. Considering my dreams, the books I read, the things people said to me and the experiences I was having I recognised themes. Especially in my dreams.

I practiced lucid dreaming. I wanted to let the inner me know I was once more paying attention. It was me giving permission for me to find out more.

Gradually I learned the meaning of my intuition. It became possible to use my intuitive senses. Through my first hesitant steps at interpreting dreams and symbols I started to see the messages all around me. Learning to meditate helped me to access the thoughts behind my thoughts. Then to create a still space where all of the intuitive information could be shown to me. So much so that the space remains even when I’m busy in my material life. All I have to do is step out for a moment or two and the guidance I need will be delivered there.

Sometimes I like to take a day to access this space. Usually in between doing my ordinary things. I encourage the silence of my busy, everyday thoughts by letting my conscious mind carry on with the doing. My intuitive, imaginative mind comes to the front. Either in meditation or with dreams it can tell me what I next need to pay attention to. Not from a duty or responsibility point of view. Or from the perspective of what others think is important. My attention can be directed to the inner journey. To my spiritual path and my sense of what will be right for me. I can receive the news of what is coming up next and how I can ride the next wave of energy to flow through my life.

In a way I’ve had a quiet day. I enjoy reading so have done so. I’ve also been daydreaming. Lots of intuitive help has presented itself through the absence of thinking. I have enjoyed a different kind of paying attention. Now I can resume my forward momentum once more.

Day 496 of my blogging challenge. 

Take a Deep Breath, Then Another

img_2305The weather has changed. It’s got cold all of a sudden. Stepping outside this morning the icy air made me take a deep breath. Then my asthma kicked in.

I’ve had asthma for 36 years. When it first started I didn’t know what it was. All I understood was that every day I was wheezing for breath. Even taking deep breaths never seemed to fill my lungs properly. Sometimes it felt as if I was suffocating. It was a scary, uncertain time. Eventually I learned how to live with the bouts of breathlessness. I discovered breathing techniques that could help. With the help of medication I got my breathing under control. And I also decided to investigate how deep the causes of my asthma might go.

There was a view when I was first diagnosed that the attacks were psychological. It was a common idea though I found it hard to understand why I would cause myself such distressing symptoms. Looking at things another way I started to track down what might trigger attacks. It turns out I have a string of allergies. And it also seems that this condition is prevalent in my family. Both of these aspects got me thinking about my past lives. I wondered how much impact my circumstances in other lives had affected my karma in this life. Interestingly, it turns out that I have quite a few fire death lives that I’ve brought in to clear. Along with a couple of crush deaths for added impact.

As I went deep into my Spirit history I started to breathe more easily. Working with energy healing I have mostly resolved my asthma condition. But not completely. That’s what this morning was about.

From time to time I have to remember that I still react to certain things. Sudden changes from hot to cold or cold to hot can bring a response. So can energy changes that mirror temperature changes. Right now the energy is getting turbulent again. Another shift is on the way. What I have to remember is to dig deep, keep myself grounded and breathe. Take a breath. Then take another. And another. When fear arises to restrict my breathing I will be able to overcome it. I will have enough breath, enough energy, enough trust. Like my asthma the energy changes will ease too. Afterwards there will be time for a deeper understanding of what this shift means. So,that the next shift in energy will be easier to breath through.

Day 358 of my blogging challenge. 

Change, Confusion, Challenge & Clarity

img_2249I have had two really interesting conversations today about how to decide what to do. In each case I noticed that the issue that really got people stuck was making choices about what to change.

Sometimes I feel we don’t give ourselves enough credit. Change is a challenge. At every stage of our lives we have to learn new things, adapt to new circumstances and find fresh ways of dealing with life events. Otherwise I am sure none of us would ever have learned to walk, to talk, to make things or to form relationships. So many of our activities depend on learning and evolving. Yet I’ve noticed that when it’s time for me to change my head and my heart immediately start a war. My head does a lot of ‘what if’ thinking whilst my heart keeps sending me the signal that something has to give.

I also go into a ‘what is everyone else thinking and feeling’ mode. It’s as if I want to take responsibility for any changes I make having no or little impact on those around me. So I bounce backwards and forwards. Is it ok for me to think about my needs only. What should I do to make sure everyone else is happy with the change. Perhaps I’d better not make any changes at all. Or maybe I need to dive in and do it. It’s so easy to become confused. I’ve often wandered in that maze of confusion. Sometimes for months or years. It’s as if I’m finding sorting out the detail of what needs to change is too difficult. Or too complicated. Even completely unclear. Then I reach the stuck point.

I find myself agonising over going back or going forward. I’ve lost all sense of direction. My feelings flip in seconds and it’s as if I keep pointing in a new direction every time.

This is the bit that is the most challenging. Staying calm. Keeping my focus on being prepared to change. I know that if I accept I’m stuck, confused, unclear it will somehow be easier. Giving myself time to feel and think a whole range of things will eventually bring me clarity. Letting myself take all the time this particular change needs. Recognising the fear I have buried underneath the tumble of thoughts and feelings. Reminding myself that I have made many changes already in my life and this is just the next one. I am also helped by my belief in many lives.

That means that I can understand this particular shift in myself and my circumstances as part of a much longer process. It means I can allow myself time. As much time as I feel I need or want. Because if I don’t change this time round there will always be another chance. Nothing is quite as urgent as it seems. So I embrace that confusion knowing it will stop when my heart and head get into harmony with one another. The way to move my life forward will become clearer with every pause for thought. Giving my feelings room to be expressed will bring me a peaceful transition into the next phase of my life. The changes that are right for me will happen in their own good time if I trust they will. My job in all the changes is to stay calm and let it be ?

Day 340 of my blogging challenge.

My Tattoo: an Infinity of Lives

img_2235Today I completed something that has taken 18 years. I got my second tattoo. Another personal reminder of my life’s achievements.

I remember my Dad’s reaction to my news that I was getting a tattoo at the age of forty. He though I was mad. Dad said to me ‘You know it’s for life’. He was so off balance at the idea of his daughter with a tattoo that I don’t think he saw the funny side of his comment. I did. My Mum was a bit calmer but also thought I was mad. They grew up in a generation where body art was only for rough, tough guys and prisoners. An ink portrait was a sign of low status. Yet I knew I wanted to commemorate the conscious start of my personal development.  The Raven I opted for celebrated my decision to become a therapeutic counsellor.

It also represented my desire to embrace the Goddess energy that I had denied for most of my life. Stepping into connection with the Divine Feminine was important for me. I needed to work out and balance who I was. In fact my journey into being a counsellor was inspired by the collapse of my corporate life. I knew it was time to make deep changes within. Exploring how to help others gave me access to lots of ideas about how to help myself. You could say that I’ve been developing aspects of myself ever since then. Now, eighteen years later, I have reached another level of development.

Today I opted to have body art representing Ouroboros – the World Snake or Infinity – on my arm. I want to acknowledge that life continues eternally in all it’s forms.

Working with the Spirits and Energy Beings I have been able to expand my understanding of why I am here as well as who I am. Alongside my passion for making sense of my past lives I look forward to the new lives I will live after this one. I also look forward to the new beginnings that will arise in this life. As I shed each snake skin and evolve it’s exciting to think about all the surprises that are in store. What new patterns will I develop? Which are the ways I will best serve myself and others? How can I help people to appreciate that we are infinite beings of Light?

The Snake and Ouroboros are ancient symbols of one of my past lives too. Having my tattoo where I can remind myself of the fluid nature of past, present, future is also about reminding me that Ego is a dead end for humanity. Spiritual progress comes only when I recognise my Spirit Within and express that in the way I live. I’m moving firmly from my phase of personal development into a new cycle that is my grown up spiritual development. Of course there has been some overlap with both. My new body art is my promise to myself that it’s time to expand and grow much more. I feel it is the culmination of the work of many lives to reach this cliff. I’m prepared to step off into a new ascension journey.

Day 337 of my blogging challenge.

Workshops Spent Wondering

img_2197I love asking questions. I enjoy debates. That’s why I also love running workshops.

When I’m in a workshop the idea that I can get people wondering about the subject under discussion is great fun. Over the years I’ve learned that asking questions opens the door to different points of view. That’s certainly what I hope to encourage people to do in my workshops. Today’s workshop was all about past lives. I don’t expect people to come along believing in reincarnation. It’s also the case that I don’t expect them to leave believing in past lives. It’s far better that they leave wondering about the information they have discovered. Then they can make their own minds up.

So my workshop followed the flow of questions, answers and further questions. It was about meeting the needs of the people who attended. It was also about my help to bring their past life memories to the conscious mind. That’s another thing I love. Working intuitively means that the day can depart from a plan and become an adventure for me too. There is no rigid framework when I’m responding to the needs of the group. And I am always amazed by the way that everything fits together perfectly. From the answers I give to the examples I choose to use. In the ways that each meditation links and builds on the one before it. To the ‘ah ha’ moments when people make sense of what they are learning about themselves.

I find workshops are a setting where wondering can be shared by more than one or two. The energy of the group and the exchange of ideas create more encouragement to explore.

That’s something I really value. The participants, through their contributions, bring the whole group through an adventure together. I find that supportive energy really important. It means that more insight is achieved. Overall that’s what I want to offer in all of my workshops. So I’m grateful for all of the people who attended today. They gave their energy, effort and ideas. I had a wonderful wondering time too. So I’m ready for the next workshop next week. Since we are discovering trance mediumship ability in people I know there will be another great adventure for that group. It’s one of my favourite experiences and an interesting way to communicate with Energy Beings. What a great way to spend another workshop day!

Day 322 of my blogging challenge.