Frustration, Confusion, Chaos

It was great today to meet up with my lovely friend Brenda who writes and also does PR. We talked about the frustration that happens when everything seems to be confusion and chaos.

Then I had a conversation with one of my favourite spiritual friends, Diane, where the same topic of frustration came up again. Both these discussions centred on the process of change. I know that when I feel restless and ready to change it can be a bit difficult to find out when that change is going to happen. Or exactly what I’m aiming for. There is always a bit of a pause, just after I decide I’m going to change, when it seems I’m surrounded by chaos. Then the confusion piles in on top. I feel like like I have lost control of the whole change thing.

In the past I would let the frustration build up way past boiling point. I would rush around trying to plan, organise and be in charge of every little thing. It was my way of trying to reassure myself that I knew exactly what was happening. And where I was going with everything. One of the biggest steps forward for me last year was to recognise my pattern. Trying to be in control was my coping mechanism for the insecurity that change naturally brings. We want certainty. It’s far less stressful. Yet I know I live in an uncertain world to some degree. Tomorrow is always a hope because all we really have is today.

Thinking about the level of frustration I’ve been feeling recently I recognised that I can cope with the uncertainty much better. I don’t need to know exactly where this set of changes is taking me.

Somewhere along the line I’ve developed more trust in myself and the world. I can wait and see. It seems because I am more relaxed the direction of the changes has become a lot clearer much quicker. The hints and half ideas I’ve been getting are coming into focus very fast now. I can see the big picture and I love the direction I’m being taken in. I’ve lost my frustration at not knowing immediately where the changes lead. Accepting that I will be confused has given me the space to let the processing happen in the back of my brain. So rather than chaos that has no end I find myself sure of each next step.

From the outside I admit that it might still look like chaos and confusion. But not frustrating. Instead I found myself speaking confidently to Brenda and Diane about my direction for the next few years. I know that I still have quite a bit to resolve yet. There are more decisions to be taken. But I’m putting aside the uncertainty of it all. Of course it does help that my Guides keep sending in confirmations of the new direction. They also keep reminding me that some things I had planned to do will not happen. They are old energy. So I’m taking their suggestion and checking everything I’m expecting to do.

Their advice is: Look for those things that flow with the new energy you are feeling. Notice the things that you have done the same way for a long time. Ask yourself if the old really fits with the new and let go of anything that doesn’t. Be prepared to start with a blank sheet of paper. Remind yourself to welcome in all the new opportunities. Order will return to your life in the end.

Day 437 of my blogging challenge.

Seeing the Big Picture

I’m always grateful for a chance to step back and see the big picture. Today has been a long conversation with myself to bring to the surface all of the things I’ve been ignoring.

I know that there are two more energy shifts on the way in. It’s time to choose what I want for the next ten years. I also know that some of the options will hold me to old patterns. Getting a chance to look at the big issues, the fears and the opportunities is the only way to make sure I move forward in the best way. Helping me work through the information I have inside me has been a good friend and also my Spirit Team. Taking time out with an intuitive friend has always helped me to make sense of things. So I’m glad of the chance to meet up with her today.

Of course my Spirit Team are always around but do I always listen? Cue big sighs, laughter and a general feeling of never from my Guides. They must get fed up with me at times. That’s because I get dragged into the detail instead of staying with the overview. They ask me to trust that everything is working out perfectly as it should. Then I go ahead and try to manage the detail. But not for the rest of this year. Worrying about details is a pointless exercise right now. It’s time for me to set my intentions for the new energy in January. So I need to be thinking in wider ways.

That’s why I have been looking at the trends of the last nine years. Working out the numerology of my Nine life. Counting up what I’ve achieved as well as what is still left to be done.

I know that before I got here I set up my blueprint. My plan of what I wanted my Spirit to achieve from this life. Sometimes I’ve gone off plan. Occasionally I’ve dumped the plan altogether. Every now and then I’ve flowed with what I designed for myself. I can feel those times. Looking back over the last nine years there were great leaps forward. And a few steps back too. Or even stopping altogether. Yet here I am. With so much more still to progress.

I can’t move forward if I don’t look at it all. If I fail to consider the different interpretations of my experiences. Getting an outside view, with the help of my Earthly and Spirit friends, puts the big picture into context. I can measure up the options open to me by whether they are old habits or new ways to progress. I can choose a different direction, or intention, or lifestyle. There are so many ways I can go to grow myself more. Looking at the new year I can remind myself that I want to shine more of my Light. The Spirit in all of us can radiate through the human body and share more love into the world. My choices have to be based on that.

I believe it’s time to be all that I am. To share as much of the highest vibrations that I can. And I hope that as many people as possible will join me in choosing the Light over Shadow. Love instead of fear.

Day 387 of my blogging challenge.