The weather has been blustery today. Down at the beach the water was wild. Waves tumbled over each other to crash against the rocks. The sea mirrored the energy flowing around me. Mercury wildness at it’s most tricky.
I love to walk in wild weather. Letting the wind and the rain blast away anything that I have collected but really don’t need. So I felt drawn to the water, to the waves, this afternoon. To help me dump all the emotions that this pass of Mercury retrograde had dredged up. Dealing with unexpected memories, old feelings and tangled knots of my past. Things I know I can’t change now. Choices that are long gone. Reminding myself that I am a different person now. Hopefully having learned from my mistakes. And willing to live my life in a different way.
One of the challenges this time has been to find compassion for myself. To recognise that we all act based on partial information. The bigger picture only becomes clear at a later date. On the beach the tide flows in and out in an endless cycle. Some days the waves are calm. Then there are the days when the waves are full of restless power. Washing and tumbling along the beach. Stirring up the shells and seaweed. Making changes to the landscape. Yet the beach and the waves remain much the same as they have always been. I know that turbulent feelings rise in me in waves. Though underneath I am the same Spirit. The being who knows and radiates unconditional love.
However wild my emotions, whatever actions I take, there is an eternal cycle behind all of this. I know that wild energy will help me to resolve the ups and downs of that cycle. That though brings me a great deal of peace. Whoever and whatever I am in the future the wildness will always remind me that change is inevitable.
I sat down to write this blog completely empty of inspiration. Feeling like I was in a flat curve. The kind of turn that creeps up on you unexpectedly. And then you realise the road is really turning upwards. So you have to steer carefully.
Mercury retrograde often feels like a flat curve to me. Because everything levels out. I feel like I’m at a halt. Or worse, sliding backwards. And I have no idea how I’m going to get moving forward again. It’s been one of those days. Listening to conversations all around me that echo old stuff. Watching people wander around unaware that they are throwing off angry, sad or fearful energy. Everyone stuck in their little world of negativity. That included me too for a short while. Having feelings is a human heritage. But sometimes I wish it was all love and light. When I also know that that is an unrealistic expectation. And the reality of the energy on the Earth makes me feel flat.
It’s at these points, when a bend in the road is coming up, that I have to jump in and take responsibility for my own energy. I am clearing a lot of the stuff that has held me back in the past. Waiting for the road to take me upwards. And sucked into an illusion that it isn’t. No wonder my past lives are haunting me too. Yet the road is curving around the next bend. Although I can’t see what is coming up after I turn the corner I know that there are opportunities for a different life experience. So long as I pay attention to how I am driving myself forward. As long as I keep the positive energy flowing. And my heart committed to exploring the next adventure. This may be a flat curve. I might be unable to work out what’s coming up. But I’m in charge of how it makes me feel. And what options I have.
Often it’s at this point that I recognise I’m moving up to a higher level of experiencing. All of my experiences have brought me to this flat bend so I can navigate it safely. And have a better future up ahead of me. When you get to the curve, whichever way it bends, rebalance and drive on. Drive onwards and upwards. A new beginning is waiting for you.
Another countdown has started. Like the ending of my blogging challenge we are rushing towards another set of endings. These are related to the energy that we have been living in since 2012. Finally, we can begin to take our inner work out into the world!
Depending on what position you wish to take we have been or are entering the Age of Aquarius. This will be a time of advancement towards a new consciousness, an emphasis on Divine Feminine and great progress in our humanitarian efforts. I believe that we stepped into the Aquarian energy around 1800 and the events affecting humanity since then have all been driving us to recognise a higher human purpose. Since 2012 I am aware that we have been receiving waves of energy, like a clock ticking towards a countdown, to get us free from social and cultural conditioning that has held us firmly in the 3D material reality. For the last six years we have been facing our fears and addressing endings. Endings of old patterns of being so that we can be a human global community of Spirit.
Now another countdown is underway. This is the final Mercury retrograde to pull us away from the old patterns. And to remind us that what we cling to so hard is really a set of illusions. Because there has been a deep inner journey going on for everyone for the last six years. A chance to identify who and what we really are. With opportunities to change our values and beliefs to live in a more spirit based way. That process has bee challenging. Mainly because we are not used to looking into ourselves. However, what is now almost at the surface, for anyone who has done the inner work, is a new way of being. A sense of freedom. The liberation from restrictions that made us conform. And a deeply compassionate, ethical way of relating to others who share the world with us.
With the countdown ticking away in the background the next few weeks are about bringing out the true you. About being and living the changes you want to see in your bit of the world. The ending of an old life because there is a new way to be as a person, a member of a community or as part of the human race. High vibrational positive energy is on it’s way in to push us all forward. Make sure you are ready. Let go of the old you and step into your Spirit Within.
I’ve thought a lot today about unleashing power. And what happens when I stop holding myself back. Of course it’s another Mercury retrograde theme. Because there are times when I feel powerless.
Unleashing implies that I have somehow restricted my power. Held it back. There is a part of me that finds it hard to own my power. Mainly because of judgements about what power represents. And all those stories of power being used for bad or wrong purposes. The abuses of power. Yet when I consider that Mercury retrograde is all about illusions – we never go back, only forward – I also wonder what I am doing by leashing my power. It’s as if I can’t be my whole, authentic self unless I use what I have been given. Until I run into that something inside of me that fears my own power. Perhaps that is at the heart of things in turbulent times. When the energy of change is demanding that I do things I’m not sure I can do I trip myself up.
I feel as if I am being called on to act. By unleashing my inner power to be me I can make more sense of all the turbulent energy ‘out there’. However that means dealing with the turbulent energy within me. Dealing with the part of me that shrinks from acknowledging that I can take action. That I can affect my inner and outer worlds by what I choose to do. Understanding that I have to bring my abilities to bear on the situations I find myself in. Finally, that I can be responsible for myself and the way the changes turn out. I forget the power that taking responsibility for myself can give me. The fearful bit of me doesn’t think I can make wise choices. It wants to hand responsibility over to someone or something else.
Because turbulent energy means I have no, or very little, idea where I might end up. It makes me uncertain. Until I remember that I have the power to do whatever is best for me. I can choose. And I can use all of my inner resources to stay steady until the change has passed.
Nineteen days to go! I can feel the excitement building already. Soon I will have finished my blogging challenge. I set out to do thirty days. Then changed it to one thousand and one. And now I’m nearly finished.
That’s nearly three years of my life spent writing a blog a day. So many good things have come out of the self-discipline of sticking to the task I set myself. But now I feel excitement all over again. Yes I suppose I am wondering what it will feel like not to sit down and review my intuitive day. Certainly I will end an opportunity to channel in the guidance from the kind hearted Energy Beings who have helped me. Also it will feel strange not to be checking into my website so often. But I am freeing up creative space. Giving myself room for something new to come in. Letting the Universal energy manifest a fresh start for me. That really gets my attention.
I am excited about all sorts of new possibilities. The excitement is powering me forward even if I am feeling like things might be going backwards due to the Mercury retrograde influence. Today I have taken some opportunities to let that energy build. To let my mind leap into creative inspirations. And to explore all the strands of conversation that have carried the seeds off new energy. I’ve also been very aware of the Seventh Ray energy that is blasting into our world at the moment. St Germain has been colouring my world with violet to dissolve old stuff. Along with emerald green for higher heart healing. As my heart lifts my Spirit within is finally starting to sing.
I am on track. Exactly where I need to be. Doing what I planned to do. The excitement flowing through my aura like a warm and powerful tide. Extinguishing the fear of change. Removing the doubt. Inspiring me to hope. And, best of all, encouraging me to take the next big leap of faith. So I am sending you the energy of St Germain tonight. To help you get excited and empowered.
Here’s another interesting though that surfaces every time Mercury is retrograde. Am I doing my duty? Have I cluttered up my life with too many should, must and ought limitations? Or am I finally free to do what is best for me?
My life is circumscribed by expectations. The expectations of others. And those that I impose on myself. yet some of those expectations are really the opposite of what I feel or think. That’s where a sense of duty can trip me up. The idea that I am responsible to others for their expectations of me. That to fall short of what they expect is some kind of big crime. Like I am not being perfect enough. Yet when I think about all of the shoulds, musts and oughts I have taken on in my life it’s no wonder I ran around like a headless chicken for so long. Or that it has taken me years to blast through the restrictions of these SMOD’s. Layer on layer of behaviour, responsibility and judgement that has weighed down my ability to be my authentic self.
All of these have kept me on a treadmill. Although I have stepped off time after time. It’s as if the power of duty, the call of it to be responsible for others, has some sort of seductive force. Because I’ve got back on the treadmill loads of times too. I know it is the power of belief. Me believing I should, must and ought to be the best kind of woman, daughter, wife, sister, mother, co worker. And on and on endlessly. Whilst the goalposts shift around with impressive speed so that I never quite make the grade. Once again this pass of Mercury apparently running backward has got me looking at the treadmill I’m currently on. I’m checking in with my expectations. Are they set to positive and authentic values. Or am I still listening to the expectations I got from others?
When you hear the call of duty, if someone is telling you you should, must to ought to do something (even if it’s your own voice telling you) please take a moment. Have you fallen into another SMOD? One that is putting barriers in your way of being true to your real self? Take this opportunity to get off whatever treadmill is tempting you. And put your feet on the path to enjoying being exactly who you are.
I love visiting a special place where I can sit in the energy of the Beings who work with me. Today I went to a spot where I can connect with a Sentinel. A Watcher. ArchAngel Dareshiel.
The Full Moon energy is starting to build. As is the pull of Mercury going retrograde. So the energy currents are unsettled and chaotic. I’ve been watching the rise and fall of these energies as they pass through me. And trying my best to stand steady. To keep my emotions from becoming too overwhelming. Going down to the beach allowed me to see the waves hitting the rocks. To observe the stillness of the stones as the water washes over them. The sky was cloudy too. The weather seemed to be reflecting the turbulence of the energy as well. I made my way to the sentinel rock. It always draws my attention. Gazing out to the sea. Watching the eternal flow of the tide. In this place I can take comfort from ArchAngel Dareshiel.
He is the one who helps me to detach from my emotions. Dareshiel helps me to become a sentinel in my own life. Not that I avoid my feelings. That would be very hard for me as my birth chart is ruled by Venus. But Dareshiel is supporting me to feel first and react third. His energy gives me a barrier of a sort. A second or two to process my feelings before I make a choice to act. That small nanosecond of reflection giving me time to work out how I want to deal with what I am feeling. Because my intuition also plugs me into the emotional energy of everyone on the planet. And that can be overwhelming. That’s why so many empathic people struggle to act and react in a balanced way. Especially when they have muddled up what they feel with what others are feeling.
Being a sentinel has served me well so far. I have been able to flow with the energy currents in the wider world. So that I can work out what I feel about any situation and then work out how it is best to act. Dareshiel is my sounding board whenever I get stuck. As well as my support in challenging energy. Finally, over the next two weeks, when you are struggling with your feelings why not ask Dareshiel to help you too?
Whew! What an active Mercury Retrograde it’s been. It’s almost time for Mercury to bow out of making us look at things again. I have to say I have really felt the push in this retrograde period, as well as the waning moon, to explore and acknowledge root chakra issues. All that stuck energy from childhood that still affects me now.
Root chakra is the place where my basic drives power out energy into my physical body. It’s the source of feeling that I have food, shelter, warmth, company and creativity. As these are basic drives they tend to be expressed in purely emotional terms. And can easily get out of balance. Especially as the root chakra is the first way a child experiences a connection to the physical world. The energy I lived in as a young child, before my cognitive functions developed around age seven, was processed through what I felt or sensed physically. Because memories were not recorded in my conscious brain they are stored in the sub and unconscious parts of my mind. Meaning I am often unaware of their influence on my actions.
That’s where this current Mercury retrograde has been a great help. It has brought to the surface those old feeling. Feelings that have perhaps become stuck because they were unexpressed or not acknowledged by the people around me. Even the energy of feelings that were belonging to someone else in the first place. They have come to my attention so that I can release them from my root chakra and balance my energy flow in a more positive way. That’s an important task. If I am to continue embracing my Spirit Within I also need to create a better energy space where we can meet. And better energy to send out into the world so that I live as a Spirit within a human body. Rather than only as a human being.
I also know that if I have a wobble in my root chakra there will be a wobble all the way through the rest of my chakras. Which could drive me to act out of fear instead off out of love. So I will be waving goodbye to this retrograde with gratitude. It’s been tough to surface all that I have needed to discover. But rewarding too. I can move forward with more clarity, confidence and certainty knowing that I am lighter by a considerable amount. I hope Mercury has been as helpful for you too.
It’s been a wait. All day I have wanted to jump onto my computer and write this blog. Because it’s the end of my working week, month and year so far. Tomorrow I am going to take a couple of weeks off (except not from the blog) to relax.
For a sometimes impatient person I find having to wait can be a bit of an itch I can’t scratch. I make long lists and itemise everything I feel I have to do before I can say I’m on holiday. Then I spend ages going through my list and deciding what not to do. The cats are all sorted. My house is all sorted. The spare keys have been handed over to my guest. I’ve even packed. Because I can’t wait to be on the beach again. Waiting to have some sunshine and a walk in the forest. I know I need to refresh my batteries for the next intense period of energy that is going to be coming in from 15th April. Another wave of powerful, healing fire.
The wait for that is my next task. I’m sitting out the rest of Mercury retrograde in my sacred space. Because once I start going forward again there is a lot to be said and done. Actions begun a long time ago are starting to return. Ready for me to take more action to keep the momentum going. Today I was reminded that life is an endless cycle of beginnings and endings. And the way to flow with the cycles is to be ready to do what is necessary at the right time. My holiday break is the perfect way to get myself relaxed. To make sure I am in tune with the energy flow. But here comes waiting again. I’m excited by the glimpse of what is to come. Yet it can’t happen yet.
Occasionally waiting involves wishing my life away and I don’t want to do that. Every moment has to count because I don’t know how many of them I have left. I don’t want to be in God’s waiting room wondering what I missed out on doing. So no more time to wait. Time to sleep and arrive at a new day.
It’s felt like a grumpiness has been around all week. Sometimes the energy felt sluggish. And the people around me seemed irritated. Or I felt irritated. Of course Mercury has now gone retrograde until the middle of April. That always makes communications a little less clear. It also tends to bring things to the surface for me to pay attention to. Being grumpy is one of them!
So why grumpiness? What has been irritating me.? Getting me a bit snappy? I was driving along in my car this afternoon listening to music and laughing with my daughter. In that moment I realised I felt happy. Really happy. It got me thinking about the way I had been feeling out of sorts. And how much I had been connecting with grumpiness in other people too. It’s as if the whole world got out of bed on the wrong side. All week. Yet I had managed to find my way to a moment of happiness. The laughter was infectious. The music was inspirational. I had nothing to do but enjoy that moment.
As I reflect I feel that we get ourselves into grumpiness when what we want seems too big an ask. I know that I used to have a long list of things I thought would make me happy. Yet as I ticked each thing off on my list I never quite seemed to be really happy. There were always more things on my list to work hard for. Because I was taking life far to seriously. Almost like I had forgotten that to be happy was not wrapped up in things. Rather that it is a feeling that can come from any experience or connection. During the early stages of my development as a medium I had to try really hard to remove any grumpy feelings. The low vibration they created kept me from sharing the joy of connecting to the Higher Energy beings.
So to get a blast from the past, so to speak, and be back in grumpiness is a reminder that i need to lighten up. It’s time for more laughter. That’s why I enjoy my Letters From The Light Side videos. My Guides bring me so much laughter I ride a wave of happiness for days. I want to spread that laughter vibration. It really is the best medicine for all of us. So when you have read this blog, why not share some laughter with someone around you? Start a wave of giggles. Or a storm of chortles. Even a hurricane of mirth. Happiness really is the greatest gift I possess.