We Need A National Self-Care Day

National self-care dayI’ve voted today National Self-Care Day. I see a lot of my social media filled with National xx day, xx week or support xx month, plus Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day. All sorts of reasons.

Yet when I am mentoring or counselling people, or listening to family and friends, the one thing I notice is we have no designated day for ourselves. I suppose I could be accused of trying to extend my birthday (I had a lovely one last week). However, I know that unless I am very focused I often forget to do something nice for myself. Usually because I’m too busy doing nice (hopefully) things for all the people around me. So when I sat down at my computer this morning I posted about National Self-Care Day. It’s Monday, it was a bit drab outside and I had a full diary of appointments. What better than to remind myself to make sure I looked after me too.

I also wanted to get people to think about how much they value themselves. Could I spend 5 minutes enjoying a herbal tea? Or was I busy, pen in hand, trying to sign my books too? Was it possible to sit quietly in my healing room for 10 minutes to recharge my batteries? Or was I busy organising the blankets on my healing bed, watering the plants and dusting the window sill? Multi tasking is great but only when it creates space for me to relax. Or to take some time out. Even to have a treat of some kind. Am I only worth 5 or 10 minutes to spend on myself? So I’m all with National Self-Care Day. How wonderful to have a whole day of treating me. Eating good, healthy food. Walking. Reading the next fiction book in the series I’m enjoying. Having time to stop and chat.

Best if all, I can send myself a Best Wishes on National Self-Care Day card. Oh, wait a minute, the retail industry haven’t designated this day yet. They don’t know about it. Because it’s not considered important enough to celebrate taking care of me. Yet. But by next 9th October perhaps we will all be enjoying NS-C day!

Day 686 of my blogging challenge 

Resisting The Impulse: Feeling Like I Have To Fill A Day

Resisting rest?Some days I find myself resisting the impulse to fill my time with activity. Part of it is about running my own business. Part of it is that Spirit people often drop by unannounced. Asking me to do something for them.

A common challenge with working for myself is to ensure I take enough time for myself. The flow of work is unpredictable. I can be very busy then on what seems like a go slow. So it’s tempting to say yes to everything I’m asked to do in case a quiet spell is on it’s way. But that isn’t good for me. It’s too easy for me to become exhausted by chasing all the work. Or feeling like I have to be there for people at all times. Since I am also someone who enjoys being busy it can be very seductive to follow that impulse to work as much as possible. But I have been resisting both of these drives for some time now. Because I know I’m not effective if I’m tired.

In the same way, my impulse when I get Spirit visitors is to give them my time and attention. It’s a natural reaction as I want to help anyone I can. Yet, again, I’ve had to understand that resisting the impulse to pass on messages at inappropriate times is important to my wellbeing. I know that in the beginning I was frightened that if I told the Spirit people to go away they would never come back. But I now know they always do. Because not too many of us are prepared to communicate with them. And they really want to get their messages through to us. Over time I have become much better at setting ‘working hours’ for the Energy Beings.

So it has been a strange experience to find that I couldn’t sleep last night. At all. Not because my mind was active. Or that there was work to do. But because I was resisting letting myself relax.

I realise I needed a little lesson. A reminder that work of any kind isn’t the be all and end of my life. There has to be down time. I have to give myself a break. Of course I ended up doing something during my wide away night. I read a novel. Finally stopping myself resisting my wide awareness. Using it instead. But understanding that I must take it very easy on myself during today. Which I have done. And I have had chance to consider where this busy, busy, busy side of me comes from. Because it is part of my personality to enjoy being active. But it’s also become over exaggerated by my desire to achieve.

Ambition is a great energy to use to get things done. However, we live in a world where ambition has become a major driver in people pushing themselves past their limits. I have done that in my work in the past. Trying to achieve what I thought would be good for me. Resisting the signals of my body and mind that ambition and achievement had pushed me passed my limits. I was clearly rejecting those signals because my balance was off. I had no ambition to relax properly. Over the years since I have become much better at being busy doing nothing. Yet there must be a little bit of push left. And my sleepless night gave me plenty of time to recognise it.

Resisting a balanced life is an experience many of us share. The energy waves of the moment are asking me and you to notice where we reject rest and relaxation. To understand how our mind tries to keep us busy and active. With no time for contemplation  or relaxation. I’ve enjoyed a day without ambition or achievement. Tonight I can sleep.

Day 643 of my blogging challenge 

Struggle? Making Life Easy For Myself

Time off from struggleI’ve always had a struggle to get my life in balance. I tend to throw myself into work and forget to play. There always seems to be more to do. Being able to step back has been one of my big lessons.

I know that I enjoy being occupied. Being busy is normal for me. But I also know that when I get focused on something stepping back and stepping out can be hard. Because I want to get things done. I want to achieve what I’ve set out to do. Part of it is my own impatience at the slow way energy manifests into the physical world. Plus the urgency of wanting to help everyone as much as I possibly can. Added to a strong work ethic that came from my parents. Quite a mix really. So I have to be careful. Because if I overdo it I find myself in a struggle to stop doing. It’s like I can’t slow down.

I’m sure I’m not the only person who deals with this challenge. There are lots of us around. We tend to keep going long past the point of exhaustion. I am connected with many business people who have the same struggle. Working out when to stop indulging one of my passions and swapping to another. But it’s important to find that balance. Keeping going isn’t sensible for my mind or body. Or my business. So I am practicing slowing down. Making it easy for myself. Giving myself opportunities to play, relax or rest. It all ties in with placing value on myself. Stepping back for a while shows me that I am worth time and energy too. It also allows me to find a balance across all aspects of my life.

There is no struggle when I am prepared to give to myself. Being at peace with time for me and time for everyone else life becomes very much easier. Today I’m taking time for me. Are you?

Day 620 of my blogging challenge 

Winding Down Weeks

It’s been a winding down day. I had a few things left to do for my work – all of them things I enjoy. All so that I could enjoy a winding down week or even two before the new year arrives.

I often find winding down a bit of a challenge. Even though I tell my Spirit Guides I am closed they know I will always respond to a request if the need is really urgent. It’s the way I’ve worked since I started my public mediumship. Yet there are times when I set aside my own rule and open up to the Energy Beings once again. I’ve never liked rules that were so inflexible that they couldn’t be bent a bit. So I’m sure if I’m needed over the next two weeks I will do what I can. However, my Guides will always respect that I need time for me.

Even if I don’t. They close the connections and make sure I rest. And I am getting better at making sure I do rest. Rather than spring out of bed this morning and get straight into my day I enjoyed a long rest in bed. I will be doing that again over the holidays on more than one day. I spent my afternoon with my Tarot cards reminding myself of the Fool’s journey I had taken this year. In fact I could see just how much I have grown and that I am ready to embrace the changes coming up. I am sure that what I am doing will be the right thing wherever I may wander next year.

It was also time for winding down the services at my local Spiritualist church. It’s been a challenge to keep the doors open this year but we have done it.

Enjoying the singing I thought about the hard work that has gone into recovering from the flooding that affected the town almost a year ago. I know it’s time to rest from that challenge too. Speaking to someone today who had to leave her home at that time we both felt positive about the future. The flood water had disrupted us. Yet we had both regained our balance. I know we both felt it was going to be a much more positive Christmas time for us this year. Like me she felt we were survivors. I didn’t know her before the flooding. That’s how we met. Now we are friends.

There are positives that come from adversity. Recognising that the challenge is over means that we can rest and recover. All of us. There is time to reflect on the year just gone. Then it will be time to put it behind us and move on. I appreciate the winding down time as the point when I can let things go. It’s also the time when I can focus on the things that really matter to me. This week I am going to have some mum and daughter time. We are off to see a film, going shopping for her clothes and getting our house ready for a family celebration of the turn of another year. I have a couple of great books to read. There are TV programmes I want to catch up with. The cats need plenty of cuddles.

Where ever you are I hope you find some winding down time. I hope you can find a quiet hour or two to do exactly what you wish. And I hope that you enjoy letting go of all duties and responsibilities while you do so ?

Day 399 of my blogging challenge.

Slow days!

imageI’ve had a lot going on the last few weeks. Doing things I’m really passionate about. Stepping way outside my comfort zone on at least one occasion. Taking steps to bring my dreams into reality. Planning the actions taking me towards my next leap of faith. So much to do at a fast pace. Yet today was all about slow.

Every now and then I take a break from all activity and enjoy a ‘busy doing nothing’ time. Though I have to admit that I started my day by sending out another channelling of Earth’s ArchAngel energy. I am working to their timetable on certain things which are part of a bigger plan. So it’s also a case that even today ‘needs must’. However, as I was sending out the love wave from ArchAngel Tiphoniel it meant I started my day receiving love too. And I made sure to slow down enough to enjoy the love energy wave.

After that it was a trip out for lunch with my daughter and an afternoon together. Taking time to chat and catch ourselves up with each other. We did a little shopping, discussed the nature of other dimensions and shared a lot of laughter about my inability to resist a bargain. Then some slow time to read a book and put my feet up. Finally a chance to see my daughter enjoying doing her boxing class. An ordinary day really.

Sitting here to write my blog I wondered what I could say. Apart from my morning connection with Tiphoniel nothing much else has happened. Then I thought about the importance of stepping back from everything once in a while. I’ve blogged about me time before. Today has certainly been me time. But I hadn’t considered how important it was to also take things slow. There is so much enjoyment in really experiencing rather than rushing from one thing to the next.

I’ve been pausing in my writing to really consider what I wanted to say. Just like I’ve been pausing throughout the day to notice the little things. I realise that I miss a lot of the good stuff when I don’t step back every now and again. I’m grateful for all that fills my life, even the challenging bits. So take a slow day every now and then. You might find  so much to be grateful for.

Day 239 of my blogging challenge.

Thoughtful Moments

imageSeveral times today I’ve spent a little time in my thoughts. Making time for a thoughtful moment really helps me to stay in the here and now because I get a chance to consider what I am experiencing. Talking with Jan about the healing energy we have been receiving from ArchAngel Parashiel for the last two years I noticed how much we had achieved together. Quietly reflecting on our work and the changes that had occurred in our lives I realised that I was less burdened by fear and worry. The shift in my outlook on life has been so gradual that I hadn’t actually noticed or really acknowledged it. We are ready to bring in much more Light energy. We are also ready to step forward on behalf of the ArchAngels so others can make connections with these wonderful Energy Beings. Quite a change from where we originally started.

I had another time to be thoughtful later in the afternoon. A lovely practitioner at the Centre has been training in AromaTouch and asked for volunteers to help her practice the technique. I was grateful for a treatment that reminded me to spend time on me I really enjoyed noticing how my aura colours responded to the different essential oils. Being in the moment I also noticed what feelings I needed to release, the thoughts that wouldn’t go away and the aches in my body. The opportunity to notice and reflect on what my whole being was ‘saying’ was very precious. Sometime we are so busy we forget to spend a little time on ourselves. Stuff piles up waiting to be noticed or released. Then when we have run our batteries down to the minimum we seek help in an exhausted state and it takes much longer for us to recharge. Spending an hour in this way gave me space to unhook myself from the world, time to release energy and the feeling of loving myself enough to deserve this time and space.

Finally, this evening I attended a vigil arranged by Happy Valley Pride in Hebden Bridge to honour the people killed and injured in the shooting in Orlando. We thought about them, their families and their communities. The speakers also talked about why it was important to stand together as one. Spending a thoughtful hour with others was a way of showing that violence and aggression need not be part of our daily lives. As I stood in the rain with my candle to shine a light for peace and love I thought how senseless killing is. How often we refuse to see the other person as a human being too. There was a lovely prayer. I closed my eyes and joined with others in sending out a wish for enlightenment across the whole world. Taking these moments as my chance to remind myself that we have a long way to go before we all behave and believe as one, I asked for every person to be reminded that we are all someone’s daughter or son. I asked the Universe to bring us all together as quickly as possible, to bring down the barriers that we imagine separate us and to help the children seven generations down the line to be unaware of any differences of creed, race, country, gender or sexuality that might keep people apart from one another.

As I write this blog I am hopeful. When we learn to have thoughtful moments of reflection in our daily lives we start to live more fully in the moment. We also start to think more clearly about what we say and do. We gain an opportunity to make different choices in our reactions to the events of our daily lives. Bringing this kind of focus to our mind is mindfulness in action. We have a chance to be better people. Please choose the path of love and peace ?

Day 212 of my blogging challenge.

Enjoy Taking Time

imageSometimes I have to remind myself that it’s time to take time for me. It’s all too easy to have a list of ‘to do’ items that fill up your day. So we spend time organising ourselves with ‘time management’ as if slicing up the allotted time a different way will find us some more hours in the day. If you work for yourself it seems to be a common pitfall. Feeling like you have to do everything immediately because someone wants something now. Or saying yes to everything you are asked in case you disappoint a customer. Then you have to squeeze the rest of life’s routine tasks like eating & sleeping somewhere around all those yes promises. So how do I find time to enjoy myself if I’m always chasing time?

Thre is an old saying ‘If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well’. Whenever I heard those words I recognised that I was being encouraged to slow down, take my time and do something to the best of my ability. I’m certain I’ve forgotten that advice many times. Rushing to get everything done, or even just the ones that were a priority, I end up getting muddles, stressed or making errors. The pressure is on to do everything asked of us all the time so going back to that saying is one of the ways I make time I can enjoy. That might mean I focus on the things I like doing a bit more than those I don’t. It’s also about making sure I find things to do outside of my work & life tasks that I enjoy.

So today is a short blog. I have walked away from the piles of work on my desk, the emails still waiting for replies and the text messages. I’m going to enjoy reading a chapter of a book, enjoy eating a lovely piece of fish, enjoy my shower and then I’m going to enjoy going out for the evening. I’m even going to enjoy staying up late to see a show. That might be accompanied by a gin & tonis that I’m sure I will enjoy. I’m taking the time for me because without any breaks we wear ourselves out. We get exhausted. We start to believe that we aren’t worth time off or time for ourselves. And we loose sight of the joy in life.

Tomorrow I may be tired but I will also be refreshed. The boost of spending time on me, being in positive energy, will set me right for the week ahead. I’ll be able to get back into my working stride feeling like I matter to me. So whenever you feel the exhaustion of ‘I don’t matter’, when you feel like all you do is give, give, give to others, step out of your busy day and enjoy taking time for yourself.

Day 165 of my blogging challenge. 

ME Time Matters

imageI find it very easy to occupy myself with work – especially as I get to do lots of things I love to do. Sometimes I become so occupied I forget about time. I’m running here, there and everywhere doing all sorts of stuff for lots of people. I’m no different than everyone else who enjoys helping others, making a difference to people or seeing the results of my efforts. And I often run out of time for me. Of course there is the shower, or making a meal, or getting into my PJs and putting my slippers on. They are things that I could argue are for me in one way or another. So I get to the end of a busy day and wonder when I will get a chance to read the new book I’ve got, or watch a programme about Pompeii that I recorded, or listen to all the new music I’ve downloaded. Late nights are an option but not if there is an early morning ahead of me.

Being able to spend time offering mediation or Reiki in my groups could be me time. It depends on how much I choose to give to others during the hour when we are all together. Me time could be enjoying a cuppa with someone at the Drop In in the Centre. Or it could be when I’m on Facebook. Me time could be when I’m driving about as I love to drive. All of these could potentially be me time if I’m receiving as much energy as I’m giving. So do I get the balance right? Definitely not. Like many others I tend to give rather than receive. I’m a product of my social conditioning and I also enjoy giving. So two very strong drivers for me to take much less me time than is perhaps necessary for my health & wellbeing. One of the most challenging things is to find a good balance of me time and everyone else time.

It can be hard to turn off the phone, step away from the computer and do things that I want to do. As a child I remember being told the devil finds work for idle hands. As I liked to read a lot there was always a lingering guilty feeling that traced back to this idea that we must all be productive all of the time. Otherwise we must be asleep – resting for our next bout of being productive. Allowing me to go and enjoy something because I choose to have that time for myself runs the gauntlet of all sorts of justifications I have to make to allow myself time off. Yet I know that without me time I get tired of work, irritated by the next task in an endless list and avoiding doing things anyway as they aren’t bringing me joy right now. Somehow, when I get to this point, an alarm starts ringing in my head. Loud and insistent it’s there to remind me that I am ready for a break.

So today, to refresh myself and have a little time I went to a glass making workshop. This evening I also treated myself to time by going to a burlesque event. The workshop gave me the opportunity to spend time creating away from my work space. The trip to the theatre gave me the chance to let my hair down & laugh out loud a lot as all of us had great fun. Being in positive energy sparks my positive energy. I still haven’t read my book, watched the programme or listened to the music. More time for me is coming my way tomorrow. It’s a good habit I want to get into much more. With practice I’m sure the balance of my day will include a lot more time for me.

Day 124 of my blogging challenge.