It was my live broadcast this evening. Although I was striving for the best of connections the wi fi was patchy. Yet the love flowed through from the Archangels all the same.
It’s not the first time I’ve had to work with wi fi that faded out and in again. Nor with energy connections that switch on and off. In fact it makes me smile how similar connecting with non-physical beings can be to chatting online when the signal is erratic. When I first started channelling I got quite frustrated with myself about the way the signal could suddenly drop. Especially as I was striving to make the connection as strong as possible. My Guides were very loving though. They helped me to understand that the signal strength also depended on the energy I was surrounded by. And the way I was feeling and thinking too. So I focused on getting as good as I could in balancing my own energy and holding it steady.
That meant striving to love myself more. So that I could be relaxed when other energies interfered with the connection. Because that happens sometimes. Especially if what is being channelled through is likely to have a big impact. And share more love around. In fact my good friend Alan Cox and I always laugh about this. When I join him on his radio show we often get ‘interference’ in the energy. Interference designed to hide the message and make sure it gets lost. But I don’t give in to that. Because the Energy Beings always find another way to make sure they are heard. They direct their messages to lots of other people who are also striving to make strong connections. So that, in the end, many of us are helping to spread the love.
If you have been striving to connect with your Guides and wondering why the signal is a bit iffy keep going. It’s natural that the connection will fade and then strengthen. What matters is sharing the loving energy of these Beings. And passing on that loving vibration to all of those who you are connected to in the material world.
I’ve know for a little while that my Guide Team was shuffling about. It’s happened before and I’m sure it will happen again. Yet it always makes me a little on edge. Because Introducing a new Guide takes time. Because we have to make a relationship that will work so that I can carry on doing my spiritual work.
I think my team started introducing this particular guide about four month ago. To be honest it could have been much longer as I’m sometimes a bit reluctant to acknowledge that things are changing. I can trust the team members I already know. Someone new might not be as easy to work with. Or know all my likes and dislikes. A new guide might also think that s/he can tell me what to do. Or want me to do work that I’m not confident about doing well. Really, it’s like any other new relationship. Lots of doubts, false starts and a period of really getting to know one another. It takes time. And I can be really impatient to get on with what I’m supposed to be doing.
That’s the issue. Introducing a new guide means that my work will also be changing. So I hold on to what I already know I can do. And try to run away from what I’m being asked to do in the future. Tonight my new guide, Rafe, stepped in to help me with my live video broadcast. It seems he is going to work with me on my YouTube venture. But I hardly know him. Even though we have been testing one another out for the last four months. We are busy introducing some changes to my Guide Contract, negotiating working arrangements and trying to get a sense of who each of us is. It’s hard work! Starting a relationship is always a tricky venture when the person is physically in the world. And I find it’s even more so when hey are non-physical.
So I’m looking forward to some bonding, some clashes and some getting to know one another days. Working together means introducing new ways of communicating. As well as new things to do. So I’m delighted that he has finally given me a name I can use. It’s a trust thing. I’m excited that he is working with me. And I’m optimistic about our adventures together. Let the relationship begin!
It’s been a kind of reviewing day. Not least because I have complete a full year doing my live broadcasts on Facebook. I started Letters From The Light Side with some apprahension. And a feeling that it wouldn’t last more than three weeks. I guess I was lacking in enough faith and belief.
So here I am twelve months later with fifty two videos and a great number of views. More that I ever anticipated in those wobbly days when I was setting out. I’ve been through the loop of wanting to appeal to everybody. Also of wanting everyone to like my channelling. I’ve been stressy with my Guides in case I wasn’t doing it right. Even short with myself for the way I look, speak and dress. Yet I’ve also laughed an awful lot. I’ve felt the presence of so many Energy Beings. Reading the positive feedback and the lovely comments I’ve felt humbled. And reviewing it all I’ve been satisfied that I’ve tried. That I’ve done my best. And that the videos have reached anyone who needed them.
That’s my work for Spirit in a nutshell. Today I was getting rid of old papers. I came across all sorts of memories connected with my journey into mediumship. Reviewing some of the places I’d been, the people I met there and the work I’ve been able to do I knew I had tried my best. Even when it didn’t quite work out as I thought it would. Or when it worked out better than expected. My Guides have never asked me to do anything perfectly. They have always asked me to do my best. Because they have always said my best is good enough. I know they have smiled when my perfectionism has rushed to the surface. And kept on encouraging me.
Reviewing the last twelve months I know that my perfectionist part has shrunk. A lot of my apprehension was about getting the broadcasts wrong in some way. I am very privileged to be able to speak on the behalf of Energy Beings so I really want to get it right. But they have shown me that faith and belief are not the only things that matter. I also have to try. And keep trying. Then I will always be good enough.
I woke up to a misty day. It never really cleared. As the last of the light faded out I was on the beach getting sand in my shoes. Doing a live video broadcast and honouring the Winter Solstice.
On the shortest day it’s been hard to see the light in the sky. The mist hung around, shrouding the mountain top, and keeping the day grey. And it’s been the shortest day anyway. The least number of hours of daylight. A dip into the darkest it ever gets. But that’s very special. Because now my days will slowly fill with more daylight. The pendulum will swing the other way. A new cycle of increasing light has begun. I felt at peace standing by the calm water listening to the waves. The sand wet beneath my feet. Shells crunching as I walked. Birds calling to each other as the little remaining light faded away.
Standing with me was ArchAngel Dareshiel, one of the Earth’s Guardian Angels, who helps all of us to transform our feelings to higher vibrations. I have painted his energy. It came out as waves from the sea. Waves of emotion. Waves of unconditional love. He reminded me that this cycle, this year, was now ended. It is time for me to make a new beginning. Letting myself increase the light within me. So that I can share more light with others. It’s also an opportunity for all of us to become more spiritually aware of the ways that our emotional energy can be used as a way to share more positivity in the world. Unconditional love is a hope, an aspiration, for all of us right now. We aren’t there yet.
Dareshiel encouraged me, as I stood on the sand, to let the old feelings ebb away. To connect myself to the wonder of Mother Earth and to recognise how blessed I am. I am looking forward to the return of the Light of Love. Are you?
I’ve had a day off today. Almost. I had a live broadcast to do. Strange when I think how much that made me wobble. So much that I almost didn’t get started.
I’ve been doing live videos on Facebook once a week for over three months now. It took ages for me to step forward and start to do them. I had one wobble after another. My Guides kept reassuring me that I would do ok. They kept reminding me that I would reach people who could benefit from what I had to pass on. In the end I sat down one day and did it. Feeling unsteady all the way through. But getting it done anyway. I was remembering that feeling again today as I sat down to broadcast.
No matter how much self-belief I have I know that from time to time I will wobble again. It happened again yesterday when I had to launch a new subscription email for the work connected with the broadcasts. And it will probably happen again next week when I sit down on Monday and Wednesday to record my first podcasts. Although my Guides have been kindly reminding me that it will all go ok I am still stepping out of a comfort zone. Because I’m releasing restrictions. Bringing on the wobble for myself. Pushing myself to try new things.
The wobble I bring on myself seems far more terrifying that any wobble that life can bring me. That’s because my self induced wobbles are me challenging my own self-belief.
I feel confident that if the world throws anything at me somehow I will sort it out, get through it, survive it. These wobbles might make me feel a little out of balance. But they don’t tend to end up with me on the floor wondering if I’ll ever get up again. The ones that come from inside tend to emerge from the dark places. From my deepest fears. Aiming right at my confidence and self-esteem. There is a part of me that still believes in ‘I can’t’, ‘I’m useless’, ‘I don’t deserve’. It’s a part that is shrinking. Something I definitely want to be rid of. I’m making great strides to stay balanced as much as possible.
Self-belief is like walking a tightrope. At any moment I could fall off. Except that I am learning how to be calm, free and relaxed about the wobble. I’m accepting it will happen every time I step further out of my comfort zone. So I’m giving myself permission to have the wobbles. And the permission to be balanced. I’m also treating that tightrope as something which is getting more substantial. Thicker and stronger. Capable of bearing more of my foot. Supporting me as I move across it.
That’s the secret with a wobble. Reminding myself that it’s a natural part of removing my limitations and restrictions. Being certain that my balance will keep me upright. That I can do new things whenever I want. And enjoy it.