What a week of contrasts. From the sluggishness of Monday and Tuesday to the return of energy from Wednesday onwards. The New Moon making it’s presence felt. And heralding the return of the Divine Feminine. At last!
My Guides have been taking about Divine Feminine energy for some years now. Especially from 2013 onwards. They kept advising me that a big shift would happen soon. Five years – counting as soon in their terms. They helped me to recognise that we are all a blend of feminine and masculine energy. Every one of us. And that I had to understand the importance of using both sources of energy in my life. I feel it’s fair to say I had worked out how to use my masculine energy. But I found it much harder to return to using the feminine flow within me. Yet my connection with my own Spirit and all the other Energy Beings depends on it.
However, I had long been interested in Goddesses. It seemed to me that there were more powerful role models for women if we sought out and experienced Goddess energy. So I did feel excited at the idea that the Earth would be shifting position to flow with more feminine energy. Because when the Earth shifts, as a human being who is part of the Earth’s aura, so do I. I also felt strongly that it was time for a return of Divine Feminine energy to empower my daughter and her daughter’s daughter’s children. Finally that energy has begun to manifest. From a cycle of feminine energy going back two hundred years I am now hearing women once again raise their voices to say ‘Enough is enough’.
What is missed when energy is out of balance is the opportunity to create and make it so – as a collaborative effort. When everything can return to a balanced position I believe each one of us will achieve beyond anything we can yet imagine. In a collective community of Spirit.
So back to this week and the first New Moon of the year. The first push of Divine Feminine to hit all of us full on. When I am riding the energy wave it can initially feel exhausting. Because I have to adjust to a higher vibration. Just like learning to surf bigger and bigger waves. My body, mind, feelings have to get used to the demands of that new experience. So I will feel more exhausted. For three days at the beginning of the week I was wide awake all night, riding the energy, and sleeping all day. Then the New Moon was finally here. I felt energy return. I could balance in this new energy and use it.
Use it to create order in my chaos. To dream some very big dreams. And to release myself from holding onto old me’s. This return of the Divine Feminine is all about activism. Not only talking about what feminine energy represents and challenging stereotypes I hold inside of me. But also turning my intentions into action. I have asked myself to take the necessary steps to embrace the full breadth of what being feminine represents. All the aspects of the Goddess. For me to honour the power of life and death as it inspires my creativity. And to work at balancing all of these aspects with their matching masculine energy.
I want to become a whole blend. Spirit and human. Feminine and masculine. I want the return of my true nature. The underlying uniqueness of who I am. So I’m looking forward already to the return of the New Moon in February. And wondering what wave I will be riding then. I hope it’s an even higher one!
It’s been a thought provoking day. I’ve been considering life, death and what it all might mean from several angles. Even my visit to the cinema raised issues of life and death.
One of the deepest searches that I feel we ever undertake is to discover the meaning of our lives. There is in all of us, I believe, a psychological urge to know that what we are doing has a purpose. Considering my life I know that I often look for my purpose. My mission matters. But why does it matter? As I sat in my local cinema this evening watching a live broadcast, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, this theme emerged again. In front of me the actors discussed what their lives represented. They are minor characters in Shakespeare’s Hamlet who Tom Stoppard uses in his play to explore life, death and meaning. Do we achieve anything by being alive? What happens if we don’t understand what our life means? And is death all we have to look forward to? Hard questions.
Questions that have been with us for thousands of years. Earlier in the day I was considering a conversation I had just had with a grieving person. The discussion turned around what the departed loved one had or hadn’t done and why. And, of course, the grieving process. As I listened I could sense that grief had brought this person to the ‘what’s the point’ stage. Missing someone very dear to them was hurting. So it was natural for there to be anger sparking lots of difficult questions. Sometimes words won’t do. I sat quietly with this person as they spoke to themselves about the way they were feeling. Letting myself hold the silences and be patient that this was helping the person to find a meaning in all the pain. Although finding meaning is never easy when we have to do inner work.
Considering bother these experiences tonight I am struck by our resilience. Even in the times when meaning seems absent I know I trust that there is a purpose to my life.
So many of us do. We keep going. Trying our best. Like the characters in the play I play my part too. Looking ahead and hoping that it will all be clear later down the line. I find the hope to hope, so to speak. I love that about being human. No matter how small my world shrink to in size I can still hope to expand it once more. I can fight for every moment of life even if it seems that life is drifting away from me. When our sense of purpose disappears that’s when I feel we sit down waiting to die. We surrender. Yet I also appreciate how difficult it can be, in the harshest of times, to hold onto a sense of purpose. Considering that point makes me more certain that I want to help people find their own abilities.
Having the support of my Guides has been a huge factor in keeping going. Even when I lost my hope and purpose. They have continued to remind me that I have skills and abilities. That there is a mission for me to accomplish. Listening when I raged in anger or fear. Soothing when I cried many tears. Energising me when the waves of depression overwhelmed me. They have helped me to find meaning in my life even on the darkest of days. And on the lightest of days they have warmed my heart with the joy of knowing I too have meaning, purpose, a mission. I’m grateful that today was a day for considering why I’m here. It’s been a worthwhile exercise in thinking about how much I matter to me 💜