Have any of us changed the world we live in? That was my question to me at 4am this morning as I drove home from an emergency call out. I wondered what it would take for everyone to finally live in peace.
The emergency had passed. My mind was free to wander. I was thinking about what had changed in my life since the big shift of Maya energy in 2012. That was the year to end all years apparently. Mankind was on the brink and whether we survived was debatable. It was also the year I stepped up my commitment to my spiritual service. And challenged myself to bring my actions into line with my spiritual beliefs. I have to say it’s been harder than I thought. It’s ok to say I believe in loving everyone because they have the light of spirit within. Far harder to do when people get hurt or die as a result of someone’s actions.
My Letters From The Light Side video guidance this evening echoes my early morning thoughts. How can I make a difference in the world if I’m swept away by the energy of fear? Until I have changed my inner state I can’t possibly approach compassion and forgiveness in any kind of realistic way. Yet I also realised that I am seeing the world very differently. Over the last five years I have learned to appreciate the strength that comes with forgiveness, even if forgiving somethings is still a challenge. Because it means I am letting go of hurt and pain. I am opening myself up to the energy of peace. Accepting that the person who harms me or mine is also a damaged, harmed human being.
That’s something that has changed. I know that people do what they do because they feel they have no other choice. Their life experiences have taught them to be limited.
Can I insist that they are bad or evil because of what they have chosen to do? Or can I see that they are individuals who make mistakes. Mistakes that sometimes have consequences almost too big for them to live with. And what about the much bigger spiritual picture? I have changed my view about life because I have started to live the wisdom that, whilst every human life is precious, we have many lives. In this one I can return to old karmic patterns or not. I have the freedom to make better choices this time round. So I can do my best to make a difference by recognising all of my choices. Then trying to take the best ones forward. As I’ve changed myself I have felt many more moments of peace, certainty and direction.
And I have also realised that I don’t need to change the world I live in. I need to change me. If I show respect and value to myself and others I operate in a different way than when I approach life in a fearful way. Especially when that fear is hidden deep inside, out of sight of prying eyes, as I assume confidence and certainty like a mask. I am much more open about my vulnerability because we are all vulnerable. Susceptible to being influenced because we want to belong. Yet as I have explored the vulnerability hidden in my shadow side I have also discovered a great strength. I have discovered that I can navigate through my own life. I am capable of choosing and living with my decisions. And I can forgive myself for wrong actions because the intentions were right.
Now I have changed myself I’m ready to answer that initial question. Yes, we have changed the world. By small, important and loving steps we are building towards a peaceful future. Peace is not only a possibility to dream of but something actually on the horizon now. And getting closer.
Where did November go? I feel like I’ve got through it at breakneck speed. Trying to reflect on the month I found myself a bit mystified this morning. What had happened to me each day?
Of course I have a general idea of what happened. November was the month of packing up and closing my Centre. That seemed to take up most of my time. But I also wanted to know what had happened around the edges of that big theme. And it took me a while to remember. I suppose I was so occupied with doing that noticing what I was doing escaped me. Yet I know that I got my first Amazon payment for sales of my book. And did six church demonstrations of mediumship. With five Letters From The Light Side live videos and four sessions of my Intuitive Connections group. Plus two of my own Open Circles. It almost sounds like a certain Christmas song!
Still, November feels like a blur. A fast and furious way for me to release energy and lighten my load. Because, strangely, it was also a relatively quiet month for me work wise. I know I have done far more work in other months. Somehow I got the time to let go of a lot of things, thoughts and feelings that needed to shift. Perhaps because I was distracted with one big piece of letting go. So the other stuff drifted away easily. I find that really reassuring and lovely to acknowledge. Letting go happened best for me when I am in the right head space. And I certainly was in that place last month. Now I’m left with a few loose ends, some reorganising to do at home and a lot less to think about. November has given me space.
Space for my writing, for a rest from a rollercoaster of a year and for new ideas to slip into a mind that feels lighter and more energised. I’m delighted as I know the next energy wave is already on it’s way in. It hits tomorrow boosted by the Gemini full moon and Mercury reflections. Thank you November for my opportunity to dream big. And then dream bigger!
Today my Letter From The Light Side broadcast has really stuck with me. The Guides talked about planning and how important it was to make a commitment to myself.
They were talking about making decisions. Encouraging me to step forward into the path that would be the most positive for me. I realised that the first thing I had to do was recognise what was the best for me. In a way I’ve already done a lot of that thinking. I have stepped back from church services in 2018. And will shortly close my Centre. I chose to do both of these things because I want to focus on my writing and mentoring. But I wondered if I had done enough thinking about my self-care. It’s been a busy week. I’ve done a lot of planning for the tasks over the nest few weeks. But have I made any space for self-care? Something that I’ve noticed has been squeezed out this week.
It all comes back to my love of giving. That’s what I want to do. I like to share. So I fill my days with opportunities to do that. But perhaps I don’t share enough with myself. My planning doesn’t recognise that it’s what I need. So it’s not in the diary and it doesn’t happen. Yet I know when I am tired, worn out and drained I find sharing really hard. I can’t drum up enough energy. So if I really want to keep sharing I have to take some time to give to me. I know I have to make me a regular commitment. It’s time to have a date night with myself. Or a pleasant walk with I and me. Curling up with a good book to refresh my energy. These small, yet vital, activities honour my need for self-care.
And remind me that I’m important in my life too. Because I can forget that when I get caught up in helping others. Today I got my reminder that it’s all about balance. Giving and receiving. I’m planning to spend my Friday and Saturday differently. So that I am refreshed and ready for my Sunday workshop.
I’ve been watching the distressing events of the last few days across the world. Including the latest attack on the people out enjoying the streets of Barcelona. Whenever aggression and violence are used to justify breaking free of oppression it is a wake up call for me.
In my Letter From The Light Side this evening I reminded myself that I need to use my voice to explore how I can resist the fear, anger and aggression which is, it seems, part of our conditioned response to feeling powerless. And our almost instinctive response to say we are powerless because others have taken out power. I feel that is what divides us. The ability of my mind to push blame onto others. And to therefore give myself permission to attack those ‘others’. It’s distressing that I have taken this conditioning on board. But I also know it is there, deep within my shadow side, ready to rise again whenever I feel powerless.
Stepping back from the distressing news and images of racism, government sanctioned murder, child abuse and terrorism I ask myself what I can do to change any of this. I know there is an almost overwheleming sense of ‘I can’t do anything’ that is urging me to stay quiet. Yet I have to resist that first impulse. I can do something. I can use my voice, through my writing or my broadcast, to condemn the acts of violence and aggression. And I can speak about the oppression. To explain that I do not support the position of the oppressors. I can also examine myself. To seek out any values, beliefs or attitudes that feed the inner fears. I have to make sure that I deal with my own stuff so that I can approach every single person as an equal.
Distressing events are my wake-up call. A reminder that I have to use all my abilities to resist oppression, aggression and violence. And to make sure I empower myself and others.
Today I sat down to do my first Letter From The Light Side live broadcast for August. I’m amazed that something I started rather nervously at the end of February 2017 has produced so much laughter.
And seems to have helped many people. That’s the key. My Guides kept asking me to speak on their behalf in a more public way. Of course I have worked for many years in churches and centres, done events and some radio broadcasts. I’ve also been writing this blog for over eighteen months. So I considered I was already doing a lot of speaking for Spirit. But they asked me to do more. In their usual firm way they dropped the title of the videos into my mind. It was about a weekly letter. A regular communication to anyone who wanted to listen. Full of support and information about the energy we could expect in the next week.
Thus Letters From The Light Side was born. As I did my first video I felt very exposed. My friends have always said that I was good doing video pieces. But it’s a different matter to go out into a wide world and sort of say ‘look at me’. Especially since I had no idea which Guides and Inspirers were going to step forward. I rember laughing at myself as I set off. Laughing because I was anxious when I knew I should trust my Spirit Team. Wobbling through the first few sentences. That first letter was a big step forward for me. And as I sat chatting today, passing on the words of my Guides, I remembered how stressed I felt doing that first one.
Laughing afterwards at the warmth of their message I really understood how each letter has helped me value myself. And discover more of my abilities.
Because I have found so much joy in each weekly broadcast. My Guides get me giggling, laughing, chuckling. They remind me that laughter is infectious. It spreads the sunshine. I know that spirituality can feel like a deadly serious subject. Or way of life. And I find it interesting that many people discover spirituality and then lose their ability to laugh. Each letter I do has a deeper message. Wrapped up in the loving kindness of humour. Because this is a way for the Energy Beings to boost our positivity. So here I am, five months later, enjoying each letter and ready to do more if necessary.
In fact I’ve already started to do a little more. With another push from those insistent Guides I have started a monthly email Newsletter. The Energy Beings want to help us understand the energy of each month. In the email they get me to focus on the things that can help me and every one else through the month. Hints and tips to avoid the ups and downs of the energy ocean. I find it a really positive way to share more. Of course, it is also helping me both to value myself more and recognise more of my skills. Like the broadcast I was nervous when I missed the first one. But my Guides got me laughing about my wobbles as always. Now I can’t wait to put the next one out to the subscribers.
I’m looking forward to wherever my Letter adventure is taking me next. Hoping that I will enjoy more laughter. And pass that laughter on to as many people as I can. A laughter filled life. What more could I ask for 💜
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For quite a while I’ve felt like I was waiting for Godot. In the Samuel Beckett play Godot never arrives. Each day repeats and repeats with ever more ways to interpret the experience.
The last few months have had that quality about them. I’ve been taking action. Stepping through each day by doing what felt to be right. Being grateful for all that has come my way. Yet still restless underneath it all. Wondering at the insistence of my Guides that I do no church services in 2018. Trying each new opportunity that has been sent my way. Not quite sure that what I’ve been hoping to manifest will happen. Most of all still feeling like I was waiting for the main event to start which is not like me. Usually I procrastinate for ages and then reach a decision point. Once I take action I put aside anything else and just move on.
But not for the last few months. I’ve been more decisive than before. Yet more uncertain too. Feeling as if there was still fog all around my future plans. Though I’ve kept making plans and puttin things out there. What has been interesting is having to live with this waiting feeling. Like there is something much bigger yet to happen. And there are one or two key things that are unfinished. As if the completion of certain things has had to wait too. I kept asking my Guides what I was hanging about for. In their usual dry way they kept telling me to put one foot in front of the other and not worry about the path I was on.
Until today. It seems the waiting is finally over. I can move on with the things that have been on pause.
It’s not quite that Godot has turned up yet. But something is about to break the monotony of going round the same old circles. For a start I can finally write the conclusion to my book. It has been on hold for some time. Last night I realised that it couldn’t end with the person I was then. It has to end on the person I am now. During the first half of this year I have changed as much as I had in the last five or six years. I can finish the book because the new me has another one to write. I’ve also enjoyed doing Letters From The Light Side for the last three months. It’s shown me that I want to do more of that direct communication with people who can benefit from what I have to say.
That also involves a commitment to podcasts as well as video broadcasts. So that I can share the knowledge my Guides and the Energy Beings have given me. And that’s a key point. Getting the information out and reaching those who can use it. My daily blog has been the start point but the Inspired 2 Write challenges have been the test of helping other people find their voice once they have the information. So that they can share their experiences and hard earned wisdom with so many more. Finally today I took a step in purchasing the next part of my psychic school. A place for me and others to retreat and learn about intuition, Energy Beings and spiritual purpose. I had asked for it to be brought to me 12 months ago. Now it’s a reality.
I have to put in more energy and action to bring in the next part of the story. It’s important to keep dreaming. There will be more waiting involved. But I know I’m on my way. Godot is too!
Today’s topic seems to be recognising past life wisdom. It’s come up in several discussions. It even popped up in my Letter From The Light Side this evening.
I’ve been working with past lives for forty years so it’s one of my favourite topics to talk about. Whether I’m figuring out my own lives, doing past life readings or teaching how to access them the subject still fascinates me. Because I believe our past life patterns present us with the wisdom of those experiences. As well as creating the blocks in this life. It’s not necessarily about good or bad karma. It’s about how many of my previous life threads need to recognising now. What vows, consequences and lessons are still running in this life?
Often it’s about the threads that twine together to make a chord. How I have anchored this life in the energy of my past lives. And what I can do to cut that chord. Balance the energy I have created. Deal with the consequences. But recognising the patterns can be a bit of a challenge. Because the threads often act as limiting factors in my life it can be hard to see the pattern. After all, the first step is to understand that I am limiting myself at all. Perhaps I’m not quite as confident of my skills as I could be. Or I feel that my purpose is only about helping others. Even that the law of attraction doesn’t seem to work for me. All of these things can be the effect of past life choices.
Making an effort to recognise patterns and habits is a good first step. I have to ask myself what keeps repeating in my life.
Is it that I always seem to pick the same type of partner? Do I always get scared when someone says it’s my turn to lead the team? Am I living in a place that doesn’t seem to fit me? Or have an occupation that I’m not at all passionate about? Most of these things can be viewed as the normal things that happen in my lifetime. Yet perhaps the same sort of issues about these things keep cropping up. No matter how much I’m trying to change my patterns. It’s at that point that I reach for my past lives eyes. Can I see the events of my current life as if it was a story of another life?
Recognising that there might be another sub plot going on underneath the surface of the way I live is helpful. I can let myself imagine what that other life might be. What could have happened to make me live my life in certain ways? Did I take vows of poverty in some religious order? Or on more than one occasion? Do I have a belief in this life that I shouldn’t have too much? In this way I might be able to see that my other life vows are preventing me from accepting the abundance that is all around me. I might never be comfortably off until I release myself from that promise. Then I might see the threads of this life that began in a little terraced house with parents struggling to make ends meet.
Recognising what has also happened to me in this life I can start to see another pattern. That I shaped my choices about this life so I could use my past life wisdom.
Every life teaches me something. All lives are about evolution of my Spirit. Growing in my understanding of Unconditional love, forgiveness, gratitude and service. Struggles in past lives need not be struggles in this life. If I recognise the threads of karmic energy I also start to be aware that I’ve met these experiences before. Perhaps I didn’t make the best choices then and that’s why the situations have come in with me again. But I can consider those past life stories and my limitations. I can help myself to understand that to get abundance I have to be open to receive it. If I make a vow not to then quite plainly I won’t. So instead of saying I never have enough I can choose to say I am open to receive everything I require.
A different choice brings a different outcome. When recognising that I also need to trust in a different outcome. So many times I have released vows but forgotten to trust that it can be different. My choice gets cancelled out because I don’t believe it will happen for me anyway. That’s why I love the puzzle of past lives. Wisdom is only effective when I choose to use it fully and trust myself to know what is best. Not easy to do if a karmic thread is throwing up doubt for my abilities. Or the life I have led has made it hard to let the Universe take control. Yet I still want to embrace the wisdom of my past lives. No matter what consequences I have to balance out my life can only get better.
Sometimes it’s easy to get distracted. To forget to recognise that love is everywhere. If I open my eyes and really look I will see the random acts of kindness that happen all the time.
There is a particular cafe I go to for my latte. That’s because it tastes like it’s been made with love. The people are friendly so I always have a chat. There is a warmth that is genuine. Not ‘customer service’ from a manual but customer focus from genuine caring. As I discussed the events in London yesterday someone reminded me that the most important bit was that people went to help. Everywhere around the scene people were doing what they could. I know that it’s tempting to leave a place where trouble is kicking off. To get safe and stay safe. But some people chose to see what could be done for the injured and dying. A true sign of love for another.
As I crossed to work the market stalls were busy. One of them sells amazing curry dishes. Not much choice but whatever is on offer if freshly prepared with passion by the cook. He enjoys offering people food that tastes good. It’s another little sign of love. In my building are many creative and caring people. We always exchange greetings, smiles and conversation. Asking one another how we are. Of course we could walk past each other without a second glance. Because some people do that without thinking. But we acknowledge our shared connection via the building. It’s another little signal that love underpins the connections between people.
I had opportunities to chat with several good friends. Their warmth and support enveloped me as I gathered my thoughts. Everywhere I looked today there was shock and sadness. How to bring back the love?
Then I realised that it hadn’t gone away. These friends were showing me loving kindness and I could return it or share it too. Some emails to answer and phone calls. Approaching them with love. That’s the way to remind myself that love is everywhere. Then I had another reminder. It’s my day to connect with the Energy Beings to give a Letter From The Light Side. As I did so I was enveloped in a cloud of loving energy. Healing came in huge bursts for me and to send onwards through my video. And back from the broadcast came the love from the people watching or reacting. I knew a lot of Light had been delivered into our world.
Sitting with my daughter this evening, talking about her day and the sadness that people would be feeling, we both knew that finding love in all of this was important. Reminding ourselves that hatred and fear would never overcome the goodness that people can offer each other. Everywhere I look I’m going to be seeing the love. I’m going to ignore the words of violence and fear. And respond to the acts of aggression with as much loving forgiveness as I can. I’m aware that many people will, in their feeling of vulnerability, react in an angry way. But my focus is to spread the love. Encourage others to see and share the love. Reminding myself and others, daily, that when we notice it love really is everywhere. In us and outside of us.
Duality. Two aspects of something. I really appreciate the support I get from my Guides when I’m trying to work things out and find my balance. I would like my energy to blend well so that I radiate peaceful positivity. But how do I achieve that?
I love that this world is created with so many challenges. But I’d also like to stop fighting myself. What is it about duality? Why is it necessary to have male and female? Night and day? Light and shadow. Us and them? I could go on endlessly about the way in which I bump into two aspects of something time and again in my day. It’s like all the positive and negative energy. I’ve come to understand that energy, of itself, can’t be bad or good. It’s me who chooses to use my energies in certain ways who create the consequences of my actions. And whether I experience those consequences as helpful or painful. Yet why have two of everything?
I was thinking about this today. I caught myself laughing at the story of Noah’s ark. The idea that two of every animal kept the population of the world going. You see we even divide our reproduction into needing two halves to make a whole. Except that there are instances in nature where one will do. Where a cell is asexual and divides itself. Or a plant becomes both masculine and feminine to reproduce. So why all this focus on two you might wonder. Of course it came from one of my conversations. All about how to make a difference in the world. To work towards an inclusive, equal society. Which has to start first with the way we divide our understanding of our species into feminine and masculine.
Added into the mix was my Letters From The Light Side video broadcast. The Energy Beings are reminding us this week to find and live as our authentic selves. How do I live a truthful life as a female in an unequal world?
And so the conversation about duality. About being a woman or a man and what that might mean. Into a discussion about the energy that makes us a whole human. And finally, a meditation all about balance. The push from my Guides was all about my inner duality. I have to remember that I have the benefit of both feminine and masculine energy. Neither energy is better. Both are necessary. And important. My female energy is my creative force. The part of me that dreams up grand plans and schemes. My male energy makes my dream a reality. Without the dream or the skills to make it so I am reduced to living only a part of my life. It’s important for me to honour both sides of me.
It’s also important to use and balance both energies wisely. I have to pay attention to both in order to be my true self. If I do this I can blend the best of myself and send that energy back out into the world so that my dreams will come true. Not an easy task when there is so much conditioning around what it is to be female. And what it is to be male. I live in a time when the energy is out of balance in the outer world. Where people who contain duality within express only one form of themselves without. It’s as if we have lost the ability to recognise these deeply entrenched positions. I have heard lots of debate about feminism and equality where the speakers can’t seem to see how slanted their position has become.
I guess that sometimes the duality is too hard to live with. When you are coming from a position of having to reclaim equality addressing the double nature of the energy within can be a challenge.
Especially if, like me, you have spent most of your life on the receiving end of discrimination. For being born the gender I am. Yet wanting to do all of the things that the opposite gender take for granted. And wanting to have my views heard in room full of men. Duality, I could kick you sometimes. Or kick me for choosing to come into this path. Apparently for my spiritual growth. Or so my Guides keep cheerfully reminding me whenever I’m on the receiving end of some mansplaining or don’t get to finish my sentences because he wants to make his point very clear to me. Even with three brothers I love and admire it’s very hard to be a woman in what is, still, a mans world.
However, I can also recognise the masculine in me. I can embrace it. The gift of duality is that I can tap into both energies to help me navigate this uncertain world. It’s not about being poles apart in the outer world. It’s about being a whole, joined up person inside. Loving myself for all of the energies I contain. Giving myself permission to use both these flows of energy to manifest the best life for me. If I can balance both aspects of myself I can put that combined energy out for others. I can give them permission to share their feminine and masculine energy combination in a way that works best for both of us. I can remove from myself the judgemental ideas I have picked up from around me. What makes a woman a woman? What makes a man a man? Perhaps it’s finally time to change this into what makes me a me? And what makes us an us?
Well there I was. After a lie in this morning and a slow start to my day. Then the storm hit. I’ve had Letters from the Light Side in my mind for quite a few months. An inspiration that hadn’t yet been given a green light.
Then all of a sudden, at 4pm today I was told to launch it. What, I thought. I know I’d done the Facebook page in 2016 after a lot of insistence from the Energy Beings. Then they told me to put Letters on hold until the time was right. I had felt I had at least another few days, or months, because every date I set had come and gone. But that’s the way working with the Spirit World, ArchAngels and everyone else goes. They jump in when you least expect it and say do it now. So this afternoon, with no idea of what they were likely to say, I found myself on a live stream via their Facebook page, announcing their intentions to the world. Or at least anyone who went to the page to watch the video.
I love that the UK was in the grip of Storm Doris at the time. Although she must have decided to give Hebden Bridge a miss. All we got was a bit of blustery wind and some rain. For a place that’s used to downpours for weeks the drops we had today hardly registered on the scale of my attention. Underneath the surface though there is a much bigger energy storm. We are all dealing with the truth coming to light. Not just ‘big’ truths but all the hidden feelings and thoughts that sit within us and make us mean or hate-filled. And when it all comes out we will need all the help we can get to make sense of the pent up fear. It’s important we don’t loose focus and let it slide back underneath the surface again.
Letters from the Light Side is one source of help. I know we are being encouraged to deal with our inner world and the shadow side of being human. It’s so that we can dream a new world where love is the energy for all of us.
I have to say I’m nervous. I know how important it is to represent these Energy Beings to the best of my ability. Their support and guidance has got me from a spiritual sceptic to a practicing spiritual Being despite my fears, doubts and woes. It mattered to me that they gave me lots of evidence of their existence. And that they really wanted me to do this public work for them. Now it matters to me that I return their trust in my abilities. I’ve found my writing voice but it seems I am going to find my speaking voice too. Speaking for the Energy World. I want to try because I am sure they will help as many of us as will listen to make it through the coming events. Change is really here. It’s unavoidable now. We want it too much for the energy to disappear.
So please take a look at the videos from time to time. They will be posted at least once a week. Though I have no idea who will be writing the Letters I’m sure that they will be accurate and interesting. As well as life affirming. And a reminder to all of us that the pain of change is nothing compared to the positives of change.