Phew! What a heavy few days. Saturn has really been shaking that Leo pride about. And giving me wobbles too. Today I feel I’m getting back on track. At last!
I welcomed in the New Moon knowing that there was also some tricky energy sttached to this one. Saturn had stepped forward to play a leading role. I always struggle with Saturn. He is all about responsibility, duty and lessons. Saturn energy makes me want to run and hide. Mainly because it reinforces my sense of obligations. And the need to act like an adult. That means I have to own everything I feel, think and do. Plus Saturn makes me consider very deeply if I am creating positive energy in my life. Because he has a trick of getting me to think of all the times I’ve wallowed in negativity.
This is only to ensure that I have ‘learned my lesson’ so to speak. But I find it hard sometimes to look back. My old emotions and thoughts get triggered. And sometimes I realise I am still hanging on to things that are distorting my present life. Of course the good that comes out if this is that I redouble my efforts to let go. But before I get to that point I can be very wobbly. That’s exhausting. Taken to gather with the Leo energy, having to look at what I pride myself on, it’s been a sobering few days. An almost ‘I’m really rubbish at this or that’ few days. Even a ‘give up now’ sort of thought train in my head.
Getting through this thought-provoking energy has been my challenge. Staying grounded in myself, my abilities and the help I can call on has been a key focus for me.
After all, I know I require help sometimes. I’ve even freed up more room for me to receive it. Grabbing the chance to clear my internal clutter once more through the kind help of other people. I also realised that the process of clearing is almost at an end. The stuff that surfaced in the past week is really old, deeply stuck experiences. So I was very grateful today to feel like I am getting through this energy phase. I’m digging up the real me and starting to be very proud of her achievements and abilities. That is important. This month is all about letting in the Light. Reminding myself that I have a purpose underpinning my life. And that only by being my true self will I achieve what my Spirit desires.
August’s energy is all about re-dedicating myself to serving for my highest good. To the benefit of a greater good. However, I have to make my promises without any clear picture of what that service entails. Except that I know I will be getting a chance to use all of my skills and talents. In the best possible way. If I let myself do this. I also appreciate that there will still be fears to overcome, doubts to dismiss and uncertainty to rise above. But the Saturn energy has been showing me that I have done this before so I can certainly do it again. All I have to set my mind and heart to is doing my best in any given moment. Then to let the Universal energy take care of all the rest.
I’m getting ready for a big shift. That step into trusting myself, my life and my wisdom no matter what service comes my way. I know I can do it. Saturn has reminded me that I can. I’m ready to welcome the Light. Are you ready to join me there?
One of the things I’ve noticed this week is the increase in grumpy energy. I’m slightly less calm, forgiving and positive. There is a little extra bite in some of my conversations. My impatience is creeping up the scale.
One of the most interesting things is the idea that the lunar calendar affects our moods. Certainly the moon, as a satellite body, has created the gravitational pull that causes tides. And tides vary depending on the position of the moon. I also love my astrology. The theory that not just the moon, but a whole host of planets affect our moods. Yet astrology is still regarded as a pseudo science. Being someone who enjoys astrology I guess dismissing it as unscientific would be reason for me to feel grumpy. Because I do feel that the energy of the planets affects our energy too.
One of the planets I need to give a nod to is Pluto. At the moment it’s creating an interesting energy. Along with Saturn, the teacher or task master, Pluto is pushing us to notice issues of power or powerlessness. Hence the slightly grumpy atmosphere everywhere I look. As the energy effect of the moon increases, at it’s height when the full moon is in, it’s adding it’s feminine flow to the transformational and challenging demands of Pluto and Saturn. And the moon is full in Leo, another powerful masculine sign. But that’s not all. Along with the full moon we are getting a partial lunar eclipse and a close pass from a comet. With all of that celestial energy I am sure the grumpy feeling will be with us for a few days yet.
That’s because all of the letting go of last year has finally got me to a point where I have to embrace the changes. Stepping back is no longer an option. Definitely a reason to make me feel grumpy.
I’m stepping into an uncertain future. I have to remember to stand in my own power and manifest all that I want. It would be so much easier to let someone else do all the hard work. But I have Saturn breathing down my neck reminding me that I’m the one who has to put the effort in. Blast those planetary energies. And my Spirit that decided I would come here again. I’ve tussled with the meaning of power all my life. From rejecting my own power to overpowering myself. Or lost in relationships of all kinds where power was given away, traded, taken and lost. Some days I’ve been very glad I’m not the only one struggling to understand and balance my power and your power.
So how do I survive the grumpy feeling without exploding like a volcano? My best tactic is to notice my grumpiness. And how grumpy others are being too. It will help me to adopt a ‘Whateva’ attitude to myself and others. I’m also giving myself lots of space to sound off to myself if I need it. And moving a lot of the pent up energy into exercise, clearing clutter and getting organised. I’m also making sure I spend some time each day meditating. Sitting quietly and letting the feelings and thoughts flow through me without comment. I know that suppressing the grumpy feeling will only make it stick more. In the end it’s not really useful to keep going around like a bear with a sore head.
Most of all I’m being kind to myself right now. Recognising that all of us are sharing the same current of energy. Telling myself to keep calm. This too will pass. It’s true. Next week we will face a different energy altogether!