It must be a necessary theme this week – working with Guides. Yesterday I wrote about my latest new Guide and today I’ve been chatting to several people about the way I work with mine. Explaining that our connection couldn’t get off the ground until I learned about shutting up my internal chatter.
As a human being I have learned to keep my mind active. Not necessarily by choice. But because I have always been expected to process lots of information. Firstly by my Ego Mind so that I can keep myself out of danger and stay alive as long as possible. The chatter that flows through in my thoughts has a big chunk of assumptions, options and debates about what to do for the best. Not only about crossing a road or driving. But also how much my gas bill is, the price of food and if that person really did mean to be nasty to me. The Ego Mind is expecting uncertainty and attack. Shutting it down completely is hard because I want to stay safe too. So it gently rumbles on yacking at me all the time.
Also chatting away are my feelings. Who said what, when and why. Debating if I feel hurt, proud, upset or angry. Linking what has been said to things in my past and dredging up old feelings. Chattering about assumptions of what is going to happen in the future if I have to speak to that person again. Going round and round judgements, conversation points and individual words. Constructing my answers for next time. Or the things I really wished I had said. I play these over and over again in the safety of my internal world hoping that I can deny them or reinvent them to sound more positive to me. Using up lots of energy keeping myself in the past rather than accepting the conversations and moving on. And all because humans don’t show each other how to deal with feelings immediately.
Shutting up chatter therefore becomes a lot more complicated as I fall into all of these internal dialogues. Swapping Ego Mind with feelings endlessly. So how can my Guides break through that noise?
It’s important to acknowledge that my Guides communicate with my Intuitive Mind. The part of me that processes the information from my intuitive senses. It’s a part of me that has been pushed into he background. I’ve been trained to believe that I actually don’t have intuitive senses. So how can the information break through if I’m not even paying attention? My Intuitive Mind is chattering very quietly to itself. Gradually shutting down the information coming in because all the other chatter is drowning it out. Until it’s almost silent. I’ve even forgotten that it’s there. Unless I get a random prediction right. Or have a moment of deja vu that wobbles my certainty in the material world. Even denying that I might have seen a non-physical being.
So here I am with far too much chatter going on in my head. Yet the voices or connections I want to experience are shutting up. In my experience the only way to deal with this was to start closing down the chatter and opening my intuition. I began with learning to meditate. Letting myself turn down the volume on my Ego and feelings. But turning up the volume on my intuitive senses. I also learned to sit very quietly so that the chatter could calm down, slow down and fade a bit. Music for relaxation helped me too. I started to write my questions down and let myself answer them. I paid attention to any thoughts and feeling I had that seemed not to be mine. And I kept asking for more. telling my Guides to give me the information again.
With a lot of practice I gradually learned how effective shutting down the chatter could be. Because I had a space in my head where other impressions, thoughts and feelings could emerge. It took me some time to trust that this was my Guides communicating with me. Yet when I finally accepted it was my mind chatter became a wonderful, purposeful conversation instead. Is it time for you to stop chattering and start listening?
I love what the butterfly can teach us. That’s because the butterfly path has come up in my conversation several times today. It’s a path I know we all try out at some time or other in our lives. But it’s also a path that can turn into a dead end if we don’t notice what we are doing.
What do I mean by the butterfly path? I use the story of the butterfly to help people understand why they don’t appear to be making any progress in their lives. A caterpillar has a great time hatching from an egg and having one focus. To eat enough and grow enough to put itself into a hard skin. Then the caterpillar stays inside until it has transformed into a butterfly. It rearranges itself and emerges a whole new shape. Best of all it can fly. It sets off around all of the flowers enjoying it’s freedom until it’s time for that butterfly to lay it’s eggs. Having created a new beginning it dies. But what a life! All those wonderful blooms. Riding the air. Adventure and discovery. Who wouldn’t want a life like that.
There’s the issue. I started my spiritual journey like the caterpillar. Grabbing all of the experiences of a material world I gradually built up a rigid shell. It became restricting. And limiting. I had to reorganise internally to find a different way of being. A way that let me soar amongst the abundant energies of this world. I learned to sense the planet and it’s inhabitant in a completely different way. Through my intuitive senses I flitted from one bright experience to another. Never quite free of the caterpillar but trying to be all that I could. Yet I also knew there would be a price. That there was something I had to do in return. I had to do what I came into existence for. Lay the groundwork for the next generation.
That’s why the butterfly path can be a challenge. At some point I had to stop flitting around. It was my time to contribute instead.
I have worked with lots of people throughout my life. Those who are still caterpillars. Whatever their age. And those who are busy flitting from flower to flower. In the last ten years of my life I have started to notice those people who have found a flower and are busy laying eggs. The people who stick at creating what will be the new experiences for others. Every caterpillar knows it will become a butterfly. It will have to make a difficult transition. And every butterfly knows it must ensure that new caterpillars arrive. Yet it’s easy to get stuck trying to avoid the hard work of creating the new.
I say hard work because people often struggle to leave behind that old part of themselves. So they dash around from therapy to therapy, healer to healer or retreat after retreat. They have become so caught up in the butterfly that they deny their ability to create. Whilst also expecting someone else to wave a magic wand and make it happen without any effort. But effort is necessary. Creative effort ensures that I have remade myself. Even that I can help new caterpillars and butterflies remake themselves when the time comes. I can also empathise with all those caterpillars and butterflies still hanging onto that shape, those habits and the limitations.
I know it is time for me to become unstuck and create. Do you? Are you still gathering ‘stuff’ like the caterpillar. Are you flitting around looking for the right flower like the butterfly? Or have you found the very end of the path? The place where you know who and what you are and why you are here? Are you grabbing the opportunity to create? Or still prevaricating? Be a beautiful creative butterfly. Share a new beginning with all of those other caterpillars and butterflies you come into contact with. It’s time for all of us to move on.
It’s been another day of honouring my energy. Whether having a catch up, sorting out bills or working on new events I have been noticing the ways in which my energy flows.
I’ve written a lot before about energy. Because when I look at the world using my intuitive senses I see things very differently. My brain processes the energy flows and pops the information alongside what I’m seeing and hearing with my physical senses. And there can be quite a mis-match. It’s my job to make sense of these details. Yesterday it was all chaos. Too much information. Today it’s become a lot clearer. That’s because I’m honouring the intuitive knowledge I’ve processed.
Living this intuitive life means I have to weigh everything by it’s energy. Am I putting myself in the flow of positive energy? Or stepping back into old or stuck energy? Also, am I balancing both my feminine and masculine energies? When I consider a new opportunity or refocus on things I’m already doing what energy am I giving and receiving? I know I’m asking myself lots of questions but how will I know what to do if I ignore my intuitive information. I might fall into the trap of following my Ego Mind. And that is dangerous. Because my Ego Mind has no intention of honouring my feelings. It wants to keep me safe by limiting me.
I know it can be difficult to accept the information from our psychic senses. I had a battle to get myself honouring the way I was receiving these details. And to even consider that they might be facts to pay attention to.
Even if I accept the facts are there do I use them or ignore them. How do I trust what I am sensing? I know that it has been a slow and steady process for me. Noticing the energy I am living in. Trying to do things differently so I change that energy. Getting it better. Finding out it’s worse. Lots of trial an error. Until I’ve reached a point where I completely accept the intuitive material and let it help me steer my life. Today has been about revisiting quite a few things I do. Checking if I am honouring my intention to give and receive positive energy flows. Making sure that I balance my natural preference to be in my masculine energy with enough of a feminine boost.
For I’m at the beginning of a whole new phase in my life. I can take my work in any direction I please. More of this and less of that. Starting new projects or sticking with the tried and tested. It’s like starting all over again. Yet exciting to be deciding things differently. I’m moving into choosing what I want from my life once more. It’s important for me to include much more feminine creativity in what I do. To be able to express passion in my work and play. And to generate a feeling of wellbeing within myself. I know that if I do that it will spill over onto the people I connect with. I can send them that positive energy boost to use in any way they like. That is a great goal to have. So I’m going for it full speed ahead.
When I was developing my intuitive abilies I asked lots of questions. I asked those questions because I was full of doubt. I doubted that I had any psychic senses in the first place. I doubted that I would be able to pick up any information through my psychic senses. Then I doubted the information assuming it wouldn’t be correct. Finally, once it seems that what I was getting was correct, incredibly correct, I doubted that I would be able to do anything with my ability to connect. A lot of people see doubt as a negative quality. We are often told to have faith as if we can automatically stop asking questions and believe everything we are told.
I love that I have doubt. I’ve asked questions all my life. Whatever has been presented to me as the ‘truth’, the facts or the only thing to believe I have wanted to ask ‘who says that this is so?’ I have also doubted myself. Evolving my understanding of who & what I am as a spirit in a human body has often been through challenging the way I understand myself. Of course my doubts have let me say I can’t do this or that. Certainly I have passed up opportunities because I thought I couldn’t do something. Or that I wasn’t the one who should be doing it. Yet amazingly, after all the doubts, questions and self challenging, I have moved my understanding of myself and humanity forward. Out of the doubt has come certainty about my values and beliefs.
I love to share my experiences. Anyone who knows me will say I can keep on talking forever. I always encourage people to question what I tell them. My world view may not be your world view. That is refreshing. It’s wonderful to discuss different points of view. Not to convert someone to my way of thinking. Discussing, questioning, swapping experiences is a way for me to hear out loud my own doubts or questions. Also to hear my own opinions and sticking points. Voicing doubt is also a way to help me consider if I’m doing the right thing for me. We love patterns. Humans general prefer to live by routines. In fact in groups if someone is out of step with the routine there will be subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) pressure on that person to conform with the group. What happens if that pattern only suits some or a few of the group? How do we change the pattern if no one voices any doubt?
When I finally decided to investigate my psychic senses I stepped outside of my pattern. I was somewhat out of step with my group. Mediumship is still a stereotype for the table tapping, crystal ball gazing, ‘is there anyone there?’ lady of a certain age with loads of cats & jingling bracelets. The doubts I experienced were a powerful energy to move me forward in search of other patterns and new groups. I widened my horizons, stepped away from the conventional view of mediums & psychics and started to discover a whole new life. My doubt drove that journey. My questions were answered one by one and have led to lots more questions. I do have faith in my connection to the Energy Beings I work with. Faith that has emerged through the test of doubt. Faith that is stronger because I doubted. To me doubt is a fascinating road to travel.
Next time you doubt yourself give yourself credit for being brave enough to question yourself. Look at the feelings and thoughts your doubt reveal. Are you judging yourself? Are you afraid to succeed? Are you uncertain of what you want & who you are? Give yourself time to find the answers to your questions. The positive power of doubt can help you find your connection, your support and your group. Keep asking the questions and enjoy being curious!