Embrace: Every Woman’s Story of Self-Love

I’m heading off on a break tomorrow. Before I go I’d like to share some information about self-love. Something I’ve been discussing for a while in my blogs.

When I first started to connect with Spirits and Guides I was very unsure about what was happening. Through a process of working with them I began to accept that they really had picked me and that I had the abilities they needed. It too me a while to build up my confidence in what they asked me to do. Giving messages to strangers was outside of my comfort zone. But with their loving support I moved myself a long way out of that comfort zone. With help I found some self-love to support my growing confidence. And the rest is history.

I’ve had to support my daughter to find self-love rather more than I expected over the last eight years. Her school days have not been full of happy memories. She didn’t get to enjoy a prom night. Or the kind support of loving friends. She is her own person. With the confidence to outlast the bullies who made her life a misery. Because she didn’t pay attention to her looks, make up, clothes or boys. She kept on studying despite all the cruel words. I encouraged her to enjoy being different. To dress how she felt she wanted to. To be her own person. Not an easy thing, I know, for a teenage girl surrounded by all the body image hype.

What kept me strong in encouraging her was the self-love I had developed for myself. Understanding  and talking it through with my Guides. Realising why it was so important.

Tonight I went to see a film called Embrace. A wonderfully empowering story of the work of  Taryn Brumfitt to bring the focus of self-love into the issue of women’s bodies. All of my life I have been judged on my looks. Whether I was good looking overtook the issue of if I was intelligent, good at my job, capable or had ability. The dress code where I worked was quite clear. Women had to look like ‘attractive’ women. Whatever that meant in the eyes of the men around us. Or the media for that matter. I remember the power suits, shoulder pads, navy or black, heels and accessories that were understated. A world without colour.

I also remember the joy at being able to escape the work uniform. To drown myself in bright colours, flowing tops and jeans. I wasn’t the same person under the clothes. But judged very differently. As was my body. My chest really. It was prominent. So I could never match the models in the magazines. I hated myself at times because I couldn’t find bras and tops to fit that were fashionable. There was definitely a lack of love going on. And that is why this film and the work is so important. Women come along in all shapes and sizes. And we are all beautiful.

In the Afterlife I will have no physical body. Looks won’t matter. Do I want to look any different? No. I want everyone to be treated as beautiful for the skin they are in. Embrace self-love and love every bit of you because the true you will leave this body behind one day. Enjoy it whilst you have it.

Day 597 of my blogging challenge 

Conversations Sharing Compassion And Wisdom

The stand out feature of today has been my conversations. Wonderfully full of compassion and wisdom. I love sharing this way.

One of the gifts of being human is that I can have conversations with other people. All sorts of vibrant discussions, debates and exchanges of ideas. My blogs often feature inspiration for the chats I’ve had with all sorts of people. What is also a feature of these chats is the sharing of compassion and understanding. When we discuss things it gives me and you the chance to explore each other’s point of view. Not to persuade one another to change our views. But to help me and you to find common ground. Ways in which both of us can live comfortably side by side.

I feel that we have to focus more on our conversations. On actively listening to each other as we share our own views about the world. If I come to a conversation with a compassionate intent I can enjoy both the differences and similarities that arise. In a sense I can live and let live. I am also opening myself up to the possibility that our conversation may contain wisdom that will help me live my life better. Because a conversation stretches my mind to open to another perspective. It allows me to consider what I take for granted from a different place. It may even help me to understand myself, my world and other people better.

That’s why I love conversations. Held in an atmosphere of compassion these chats have the power to unite us in our humanity.

In the same way my conversations with Spirits and Energy Beings feature compassion and wisdom. They talk to me about my life, answer my questions and help me to navigate a spiritual path. Never seeking to change my mind but asking me to think about things in a deeper way. And if I am the medium through which a conversation can take place between loved ones then the loving kindness overflows. Ever helpful but very aware of our right to free will the Spirit and Energy people hold to that rule. In the discussions there is never a do this or do that. Just gentle encouragement to decide from the heart.

What matters to them is our choices work out better when we follow our heart intuition. Not the head logic. And my Guides and loved ones in Spirit certainly understand how the heart and head can get muddled up. That’s why they have so many conversations with me. Getting me to listen to my intuition instead of my fears. To acknowledge my feelings and not my anxieties. Having compassionate conversations with me until I have sorted myself out and can choose wisely. In whatever way the speak to me I can benefit from listening.

I feel it’s time to put compassion at the heart of all we say. No matter who we talk to we all want to have a positive way forward in our lives. Is it time to find the wisdom contained in all of your conversations?

Day 584 of my blogging challenge

A Human Transitions Back To Spirit

I traveled out to Bacup today to take a church service. My job is to relay the messages from those who no longer live in a human body. They have made the biggest change of all. Back into Spirit.

It’s a job I’ve done for a long time. I often think I’ve covered everything there is to know about death and the Afterlife. Yet every now and then the Spirit World reminds me of the amazing process that transition can be. In the move from being human to being Spirit again how much love and compassion there is. Because today there were some lovely examples of the continuation of our exsistance and one very wonderful message of hope. I’ve written before about my evidence based mediumship. I want the person getting the message to feel or sense the presence of their Spirit loved one. That is greatly helped by factual information that I can be given that I would be unable to get in any other way.

During the messages this afternoon there was plenty of fact passed on through me. Confirmations that someone other than me was present. But to get that sense of presence  I also want the messages to be relevant to the listener. Loved ones come back to help. To give us a positive boost. To get us laughing and even hopeful again. I know they can’t take away the grief of their leaving. But they certainly want to remind us that they haven’t gone for good. So sometimes it’s also important to explain how they made the transition to the Afterlife. Giving information about their death or what happened afterwards helps to confirm that they have crossed over successfully. It sets minds at rest on this human side of life.

It’s also true that in the Afterlife they keep their human personality. That way when they message us we can recognise them. But they have returned to their true Spirit self as well.

Today I saw both aspects of that transition. There was a message from a very recently passed Spirit who came in his human self to ask that his family be reassured that he is safe with loved ones in Spirit. He told who collected him and helped him cross. He also asked that his loved ones here be supported in their grief. And he provided comfort to others by showing that loved ones survive that great transition. Now matter how challenging it may appear to be to us. From our human perspective. Along side him and helping him was another Spirit known to some of the congregation. The second Spirit explained that the energy around the first one required a booster. The second Spirit was the boost.

Although both Spirits were complete strangers to one another they shared a common link with people in the church. Much to the delight of those who it mattered to both Spirits had joined forces to bring in their messages of love. Especially the second Spirit. This one came as a pure Spirit being. One who had been human but was now through the completed transition process and fully back connected to the Afterlife. One who could let the human personality go and move on to do the work required in the Afterlife. My Guides tell me there is always a great sense of achievement when a Spirit completely lets go of their need to be human any longer. Because it is a new beginning. A fresh start. I know my Mum made that transition in order to be one of my Guides. That doesn’t mean I’ve lost her human side. She can pick it back up again if she has to.

However, I also get the benefit of the unconditional love she radiates as a Spirit. That helps me so much. Human aspect or Spirit aspect, our loved ones have made a tremendous change. One we have to make. But one that, when it comes, will be a joyful new beginning for our Spirit.

Day 580 of my blogging challenge 

Motherhood: Can Our Adult Children Speak Their Pain?

I’ve been discussing motherhood with my Guides over the last week or two. Driven by the recognition that I am now the mother of an adult not a child.

It’s a strange rite of passage for both of us. One that my mother and her mother and her mother went through in their time. How strange that I feel I have to include those who mother in all sorts of other ways. And fathers too. But I can only address this from my personal point of view. Years ago they handed me the child I had grown in my womb and left me to get on with it. Well I got on with it. There was no other option. Surprisingly I found myself receiving so many moments of pure joy. As well as becoming prey to a whole new set of fears and judgements. In me and from others. However I learned and accommodated all of these into my own style of mothering. Motherhood turned out to be something I felt I could be good enough at.

So long as I withstood my inner urge to tell myself I’d got it all wrong. As well as the social pressure to tell me it was all my responsibility. In effect my fault. For anything related to my child. As the years passed I settled into my stride growing more confident with being a mother. I encouraged my child to tell me about her life, feelings and thoughts. I sheltered and defended my child. It was also necessary to remind my child how beautiful and talented she was. Then things started to shift. It seemed to be my challenge to push my child out of our nest and into the wider world. Motherhood became about independence, free will and negotiation. Big themes for big changes.

I feel that’s when motherhood shifted into a new phase. I was having to step back from my role of carer. What would emerge as my relationship shifted to being alongside another adult?

Now I understand why my Mother (now in Spirit but guiding me) laughed and talked about payback. Because my soon to be teenager didn’t always agree with me. Or want what I wanted. Nor did she feel that rules were necessary. Like all of us at that stage she found ways to rebel. Perhaps not big outward rebellions. But quiet, stubborn positions to hold. She also started to have her own secrets. As well as her own judgements about my mothering of her. Her feelings disappeared behind a wall that I couldn’t climb. So I respected her privacy. I talked to myself about how I needed to change in response. I revisited motherhood as an idea. Calling for my Mum I asked for guidance. Finally I learned to tell myself ‘it’s just a phase’.

Eventually I got tot the point of knowing I had to connect with her as an adult not my child. That’s when this particular rite of passage began. Because she needed to tell me things about my mothering that she didn’t agree with. I remember thinking to myself as a teenager that if I became a mother there were things I definitely wouldn’t do. Things my Mum had done to me. Actions that I judged were harsh or cruel. Yet I did the same things to my daughter. Because I understood that those actions came out of love. It was important that I teach her boundaries, about how to live alongside others and how to care for herself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I never told my Mum how much I appreciated those things I’d kicked against. I never shared my growing pains so she could explain and help me understand.

But I also wonder if she wasn’t ready to hear what I had to say either. An important part of seeing my child as an adult has been making room for her to tell me how she thinks I got motherhood wrong. Where she feels I’ve failed her. Letting her speak her blame. And yes, I could talk about the difficulty of balancing so much judgement and doubt within me. I could say I love you over and over. The temptation not to have that discussion is very strong. Perhaps there is a need in me to feel like a perfect mother in response to all of the years of responsibility and worry? Yet if I accept she is an adult I have to make room for her point of view. There has to be space for her to say she is angry with me, hates me, never wants to see me again. I have to bear both the love and rejection she may feel.

These are all her choices. And I can’t hold on to her as my child. I have to hold onto her as my adult daughter. With a life and concerns of her own. Hoping that she will have a good life. Being optimistic that she, in her turn, will understand when she becomes a mother. My Guides have helped me see that underneath everything there is always love. Pain is the response to love being conditional. However painful this transition I undertook to do it as part of being a mother. It’s the path I took with my mother. So I can embrace my love for my daughter knowing that any pain is momentary. Below it will always be love. It’s time to let her be an adult in her own right. And time for me to love the person she has become. Whether I agree with her thoughts, feelings and choices or not.

After all, if I have done some good things in her life she will be able to share her pain, criticisms and judgements of me with me. Not silently letting them eat away at her heart creating bitterness and distance. I love her and wish her well.

Day 572 of our blogging challenge

Walking Towards Wellbeing: ArchAngel Help

It’s funny how themes pop up in life. I was writing some information about wellbeing today and ArchAngel Parashiel stepped in. Since he’s usually around when healing is required I paused.

Of course my Guides and Inspirers have been talking about the energy waves we have all been experienceing since last September. They have spoken to me about the shift due from 24th May to 10th June. And they have made sure it has been mentioned in my Letters From The Light Side videos too. What they want is to help me understand what  the shift represents. As well as how to deal with it. ArchAngel Parashiel is part of that story. He is the Earth’s Guardian angel responsible for all of the healing done here. It’s his task to guide us to wellbeing and away from dis-ease. That’s quite a job at the moment. Because, as he explained today, we are still focused on physical symptoms of energetic stuckness.

I have been discussing my own energy with him for a long time. Learning how to balance what I give and receive. Also ensuring I’m letting go of my stuck energy from earlier times in my life. Parashiel has also been working with me to teach me his forms of energy healing. That has required me to meet my inner energy issues head on. In my journey towards wellbeing I have asked to work with those who are serious about healing themselves. Knowing that anyone who chooses to do that is opting for action over words. I’ve been very happy to move people off the treatment couch into their new lives. In return I have been able to make progress on myself too.

So why did he step in today? What aspect of wellbeing was up for discussion?

The next bout of energy is a bit like a dose of chemotherapy. It’s a cocktail of different types of energy designed to bring the rubbish to the surface so I can release it. So the next couple of weeks are going to be a bit turbulent. I’ve been asked to take care of my own personal energy. To rest when I need to. Letting negativity pass me by whenever I’m near it. And to stay away from the dramas of others. A bit like being in quarantine apparently. I will need to do that so I can release all of my stuckness about who I am and why I’m here. There will also be time for me to really appreciate myself. To embrace all that I am. And let judgements about myself go.

I know that learning to love myself is tough. There is so much to strip away so I can see my own strength and ability. These are what I can offer to share with others. My wellbeing is me being myself. Whole. Complete. Balanced. That’s how each of us must be to move forward. Our authentic self. This journey will take some people longer than others. But each step is a positive if we allow ourselves to keep walking. Parashiel is there with his loving support to push us to keep going. I know I need help to stay focused on being well. It’s almost too tempting to say I’m stuck with things as they are. Yet until I take action for myself my life will drift along with more of the same.

So even if the energy waves are intense I’m going to make the most of them. I have Parashiel at my side with his healing Balm. Wellbeing is my goal. It’s time for action!

Day 546 of my blogging challenge

You can receive a healing wave from Parashiel through the video here on YouTube

Spiritual Exams – Tests to Pass the Gateway

Here in the UK many children have just finished or are starting exams. Tests designed to place a value on that child’s ability. Not necessarily for any useful purpose because ability is a variable that changes over time and circumstance.

But I don’t really want to talk about human based exams. They sift people out into bandings that can either enable or disable life choices. They also tag each one of us with a label which may result in a lifetime of missed opportunities. As I discussed the idea of exams with several people today my Guides were busy talking about spiritual exams. I hadn’t particularly thought about it before but I have been through a series of tests over the last 20 years. Tests designed to get me working on me. On my beliefs, values, attitudes and how they translated into my lifestyle.

One of these was my attitude to my physical body. Although I was a compulsive gym member in my 20’s and 30’s by my 40’s I’d sort of given up. Staying in shape seemed a bit pointless. My body shape was never going to match my ideal because my ideal was something I accepted from all of the influences around me. And women with big boobs are definitely not considered beautiful. Think how hard it is to find a pretty bra in a big size. Sexy – or a sex object (I lost count of the times men would talk to my boobs instead of my face) perhaps. But I was worn down with my body being defined by the two lumps that stuck out of my chest. Why keep in shape if they were never going to go away?

So how does this fit with a spiritual exam? What was the test I needed to pass?

Gradually it dawned on me that I had stopped loving my body. That also meant I had stopped providing my Spirit with the best possible accommodation. Yet how to get back on track? It took me an even longer time to realise that I had swapped my I enjoy exercise attitude for an exercise is hard viewpoint. So every time I wanted to do some exercise I sabotaged myself. No wonder my body got cranky with me. It started throwing aches and pains my way. Things stopped functioning properly. I wasn’t taking care of it so it wasn’t bothered about lasting out my lifetime in a state of wellness.

Last September I sat a series of spiritual exams. I didn’t know it was happening until afterwards. But I found myself signing up for a personal trainer. I also found myself wanting to remove sugar from my diet. Then I noticed that I wanted to have much more rest time in my schedule. I wasn’t quite myself. I had started to find a desire to be well. Physically well. As this journey has unforced I’ve mostly stuck at it. This weekend I realised that I was back to loving my body. Bust and all. I feel well. And I also feel fit. Not quite ready to run a marathon or cycle all day. But pleasantly comfortable with a body that is happy and generally pain free.

So what about the other spiritual exams? I know that I am being challenged to live my spirituality as much as talk about it.

There are also a few more energy waves like deep revision sessions rolling in. End of May and first couple of weeks in June, early August and mid September is the timetable according to my Guides. These periods are where I will be going back over old exam papers to check what I have learned. So I’m expecting some more testing. Bigger challenges. And a lot more lessons. I’m excited to be doing this work for several reasons. I will be able to see how far I’ve progressed in my journey. There will be some clear information about the progress I’m making in developing my abilities. Then I will also have a chance to look at where I want to go next.

Perhaps best of all, if my progress is going well I can move into the next tutor group. I’d like to go through the gateway to the next vibrational level. I feel ready to switch my focus into loving me much more. Doing all of the exercises needed to get me fit to offer more back out into the world. Because that is the real point. It’s important for my Spirit to be able to take on more work as there are big changes required to the way humans live their lives. Change is much easier if there is tough love support. That seems to be my spiritual purpose.

Passing my spiritual exams will show me that I’m ready to work at the next level of service. It’s time for me to look forward to getting through that gateway soon.

Day 540 of my blogging challenge

Shining Light Into Dark Places

My work today has all centred around shining light into dark places. Working with healing energy flows to illuminate where people have got stuck. Because sometimes it can be hard to work it out by yourself.

I woke from a dream this morning where I had been releasing negative words and energy. The negativity had become stuck in my mouth area. In the past I have had a loop of words to define myself that have been much less than positive. This loop has gone round and round for far too long. In the last week I’ve been taking action, along with my Guides, to clear it. Hence the dream. As the stream of energy flew out of my mouth it disappeared. Three times I released the energy and watched it as it faded into nothing. I was surrounded by light. It was shining on me as my energy brightened. Finally, I thought, my stuckness has disappeared. I can speak about myself in a better way.

Later I had the opportunity to do a Parashiel’s Balm healing for someone. As I scanned their aura I could see a huge lump of negative energy around their shoulder. No wonder they had felt like they were stuck in the dark all alone. Or that they had been struggling to make sense of a low feeling that never left them. Guided by the ArchAngels in the room I began some psychic surgery. These loving Energy Beings filled the space with light. Shining it at the dark lump of energy I watched as the negativity faded to be replaced by the wonderful orange rays of self-confidence. Beamed into the person was the strength of belief to help them overcome the challenges they faced. Another person released from being held back.

I used to wonder about the light energy. It comes shining through so brightly. Would it ever run out?

That’s when my Guides explained to me that the light energy is the energy of unconditional love. It is an endless, eternal supply freely available to anyone who asks. How wonderful I remember thinking. And I set off telling as many people as I could about it. Until I realised that not everyone is ready to become unstuck. Some people alre comfortable in the stuckness. Shining a light on their limitations doesn’t help. They need to be left in the patterns and habits that are comfortable for them. Understanding this changed my focus. I started to work with the people who were ready to work out and work through what was holding them back.

That’s how I ended my day. Discussing how my mentoring might be able to help someone  to start moving forward again. It’s all about that really. Because if someone can recognise they are ready to change they can also put in the commitment to change. It’s as if they have reached a tipping point. Being ready to let go of old habits they bring all of their focus and energy to bear on shining more light into their lives. I know this process works. Becuase I’ve had to do it myself. The words of my dream were released as a result of my efforts to identify self destructive patterns. In the long run it’s possible that I would have changed my habits eventually. But I want to make my changes now.

I’m prepare do to keep shining light into all of my dark places. And committed to supporting other people who want to do that too. In whatever way is the best for them. So that we can change ourselves and thus the world a step at a time.

Day 535 of my blogging challenge 

Conversation in the Square

Many of my messages come through a conversation. Either the person I’m talking to says something that I know is from Spirit. Or they tell me I’ve said something they really needed to hear. Or recognise as being from a loved one in Spirit.

Standing chatting in the Square this afternoon I was enjoying the sunshine. Our conversation was about that thorny subject – what is mediumship? As I talked I felt a familiar tingle. My Guide Wolf Running had his hand on my head. And next to me was a Guide belonging to the other person. I knew what I was saying had significance for both of us. So I listened carefully to the words that were falling out of my mouth. It was interesting to hear a reminder of why I started developing in the first place. And why I continue to share my knowledge about intuitive abilities.

Back in the beginning I was mostly curious. I wanted to understand what was happening. Why did I feel tingles at certain times? How did I seem to know what was going to happen? Or that a client was surrounded by loved ones from Spirit. Yes, I was already helping people through my counselling. I moved in that direction when the corporate world   became too toxic and uncaring. As I opened up to the information from my intuitive senses  I became more involved. I wanted to understand at a deeper level. Because I felt I had found a better way to help people. That’s how I fell into mediumship. Somewhat reluctantly but going with it all the same.

The urge to help is very powerful in all of us. I know I have a conversation with myself every time I am around people who are stuck, lost or floundering. I want to somehow make it better.

As I continued into the connection with Spirits I found I was better than average at it. Still reluctant to believe in myself (or them) I fell into demonstrating and giving messages one to one. That’s when I hit a big challenge. My need to help was fed by my Ego Mind. It told me how much better I could help by making sure I was the one people heard. There was a sort of competitive edge that wanted to creep in. I had a hard conversation with myself once again. Using my abilities was about being of service. Not being the big I Am. I decided then that when I was asked I would serve to the best of my ability. That’s how I found myself teaching. Reluctantly. But reminding  myself it was because of choosing to serve others.

Lots of things I have done have been in the background. Quietly. A conversation with one person. A message to another. A healing thought to a third. Visiting places when asked to by Spirit. Connecting people when required. Encouraging people to move on when the time was right. Because to me mediumship is a whole lot more than standing on a stage just to flatter my ego. The temptation was certainly there. But I’m glad I resisted. That’s not to say that everyone who works publicly is doing it to feed their ego. I know many wonderful mediums who serve day in and day out in public settings. They are there because it’s their form of service. It’s what has been requested of them. But I want to add a note of caution. A few aren’t serving anyone but themselves.

That’s a sad conversation to have. To recognise that their Guides have to wait until the Ego Mind has run it’s course. And hope that not too much damage has been done to the public in the mean time.

I encourage people to recognise mediumship in all of it’s forms. Including the healers, psychics, Tarot readers, geomancers, intuitives, and empaths (amongst many names) who might cross your path. Along with the ordinary, kind hearted and open people who offer you support and encouragement when you most need it. They are serving too. Quietly. For no visible reward. Passing on the love that is all around if we choose to be open to it. I believe that intuitive ability is natural for all of us. And I also believe that when required we are all of service on behalf of Spirit. It’s just that we don’t recognise it. Or know how much our help has mattered. The Spirit World would like to thank you today for everything you have done on their behalf. And ask you to keep doing it <3

Day 487 of my blogging challenge.

Knowing I Have Backup

I always record my readings. It’s a kind of backup. The Spirit people often fill the time with so much information it’s impossible to remember it all clearly.

I learned to offer recordings because of my own experiences. Too many times I would walk out of a reading thinking I’d rember it all only to find I couldn’t. Trying to write things down also meant I missed such a lot too. So when I began offering readings I decided to also issue a CD to each person. The backup of a recording meant that my client could relax and listen. That made for a better flow of energy. And the evidence for the exsistence of an Afterlife was there to be listened to as well. It’s not a glitch free system, especially as I’m a bit of a technophobe, but it’s something I do that I feel adds value to the service I can give.

I also appreciate that the Spirit people who come along are happy to have their messages recorded as well. There is a long history within Spiritualism of Spirit interaction with all sorts of technologies to give some kind of evidence of their existence. Whether it’s photographs, chalk slates, electronic voice recording, Ouija boards or drawing and writing, they want to let us know they are there. All sorts of backup methods have been designed too. Ways to remove the possibility of human interference. Things like the use of heat sensors, night vision cameras, trigger objects. All to record that the Spirit people are still present in our lives.

There is another way they provide me with backup. My Guides make sure I know they are around to help me if I need it.

If the energy for a reading needs a boost. When I need a bit of healing for myself. Or a message to inspire me to consider all the options. Even a white feather when I least expect it. And Especially when I’m teaching so that I can tailor the session to the neeeds of my students. In lots of ways every day my Guides show me they are providing backup. Their protective presence helps me to do the best I can for the people who I need to connect with. My Guides also keep a close eye on my energy levels. They will stop me if they feel I’m doing too much.

No matter what the situation I feel surrounded by loving kindness from my Guides. They have given me so much wise advice. Helped me to bring myself through some very tough times. Reminded me again and again to laugh, live, love and enjoy. The best bit is that they confirm, again and again, that everyone has Guides. Spirit loved ones who want to be the backup for their relatives and friends. All we have to do is give them permission to be around us. I am open to help from anywhere. That’s why my Guides are around me so much. If you need backup remember your loved ones will be watching your back too. Ask them to send you the signs and messages that they are there. Everyone deserves backup.

Day 476 of my blogging challenge.

Grounded! When Life Curves Around

I’m grounded! Yesterday my grumpy old man car quit. He had been moaning and groaning for some time. And he knew I’d sent a request to the Universe for a new car in April. He wasn’t happy.

So when I tried to drive the car yesterday morning he wouldn’t get into first gear. Actually much like me really. I’ve had difficulty getting going all week. The energy shifts. My cold. A foggy brain. The feeling of waiting for something to happen. I have felt like I’ve been drifting along. But not knowing where I’m actually going. Worrying that I’m doing too much thinking and not enough action. As an air sign it’s no wonder I’d lost touch with the ground I’m standing on. It can happen very easily. Because I did need to be grounded I came down with a bump.

Practical matters came to a head. I was too ill to work but still thinking I should. I ended up cancelling a couple of events at short notice. That was a real challenge to my strong sense of duty. But it was the right thing to do. One of them involved an hour long drive there and back. So my car put it’s foot down too. Instead I finally retired to my bed and got the deep rest my body needed. When I woke up this morning I felt much more myself. A blessing really as I’d also had a spell during the night of powerful Full Moon energy. Another reason to be grounded right now.

I also feel that my Guides have grounded me too. Perhaps I was racing ahead without taking full account of the way my life has curved around. That after endings there are always beginnings.

I’m really good at looking for new stuff to do. And not so good with tying off the loose ends from what I’ve decided is finished. So I can find myself dragging old energy into new dreams. Is it any wonder then that the new dreams often end up looking like the old ones? This time my Guides want me to focus on everything fresh and new. They want me with a new inner energy. Because there is a big shift coming for all of us. The next nine years represent our choice to step into Ascension Consciousness. I have a chance to deliver on my Spiritual mission. But only if I recognise the new energy in me.

Shifting the ‘old’ me energy is my priority right now. Then I can move on. So I do understand that like an impulsive teenager I have rushed ahead without thought. Being grounded has made me look again at what I’m carrying with me. And I’m going to use the waning moon energy to let go of all the old stuff. Including my grumpy old man car. Because he is also a physical representation of some energy I’ve carried for a long time now. I really admire my Guides. When I refuse to see things one way they make sure I get the message anyway. It’s time for me to be really smart. I want to take the challenge of being in new energy. To be grounded but flying ahead at the same time. What about you?

Day 475 of my blogging challenge.