It’s been a kind of reviewing day. Not least because I have complete a full year doing my live broadcasts on Facebook. I started Letters From The Light Side with some apprahension. And a feeling that it wouldn’t last more than three weeks. I guess I was lacking in enough faith and belief.
So here I am twelve months later with fifty two videos and a great number of views. More that I ever anticipated in those wobbly days when I was setting out. I’ve been through the loop of wanting to appeal to everybody. Also of wanting everyone to like my channelling. I’ve been stressy with my Guides in case I wasn’t doing it right. Even short with myself for the way I look, speak and dress. Yet I’ve also laughed an awful lot. I’ve felt the presence of so many Energy Beings. Reading the positive feedback and the lovely comments I’ve felt humbled. And reviewing it all I’ve been satisfied that I’ve tried. That I’ve done my best. And that the videos have reached anyone who needed them.
That’s my work for Spirit in a nutshell. Today I was getting rid of old papers. I came across all sorts of memories connected with my journey into mediumship. Reviewing some of the places I’d been, the people I met there and the work I’ve been able to do I knew I had tried my best. Even when it didn’t quite work out as I thought it would. Or when it worked out better than expected. My Guides have never asked me to do anything perfectly. They have always asked me to do my best. Because they have always said my best is good enough. I know they have smiled when my perfectionism has rushed to the surface. And kept on encouraging me.
Reviewing the last twelve months I know that my perfectionist part has shrunk. A lot of my apprehension was about getting the broadcasts wrong in some way. I am very privileged to be able to speak on the behalf of Energy Beings so I really want to get it right. But they have shown me that faith and belief are not the only things that matter. I also have to try. And keep trying. Then I will always be good enough.
It’s free at last! Today I have liberated my exercise bike from underneath a pile of clothing, a border of boxes and files and a wall of CDs. Yes, creating sacred space has been going on again. Uncovering my exercise bike got me thinking about the other exercises I do.
Freeing up my exercise bike means that I can use it again. Now I have to get myself back into a routine that, I confess, died a long while ago. I have to be disciplined, focused and determined. Fairly easy on a positive day but much harder when my world is out of sorts. The same thing can be said about my intuition. Developing my natural ability to tune into the energy around me was easy when I was trying to get the connections to my Guides. But how to keep it going when the communication is fairly clear and accurate? That’s when I have to get on my intuitive bike. Especially on those days when it feels like my Guides have stepped back completely.
I know they haven’t. But I do occasionally play a ‘tit for tat’ game with them when my childish streak gets to the surface. It’s as if I am challenging them to be the first to break the silence. The silence that actually drives me mad. Often I find that they have gone a little distant because they want me to make more effort. To get on my exercise bike, so to speak, and work harder to get the connection. My intuition is a group of muscles just like my physical body. Those intuitive muscles need a good work out on a regular basis to keep them doing their job. So my Guides set me a fitness schedule and I try to follow it. Because I know in the end it will make the communication even better.
So imagine me on my intuitive bike, if you will. Or if that thought is too scary imagine yourself in the intuition gym. Trying out each exercise to help you get better at reading energy.
Remember that it starts with a warm up. I like to do a short meditation so that I have stepped back from my everyday life. Then comes a bit of cardio to raise my energy vibration. Sometimes it’s saying a mantra. Other times I sing. Or visualise the pure white universal energy filling me up so that I am at the best energy level to make a connection. Once I feel the flow of higher energy I start to do some stretching, pushing gently with my intuitive psychic senses to find out if I can see, hear and sense more detail in the conversation being exchanged. I’m building on my natural senses – my core – and finding more balance in the flow of the energy.
My Guides are also helping me by switching vibrations around, using the senses I’m not as strong in and varying the amount of energy they feed into the connection. They encourage me to sense as much as possible whilst maintaining the connection through the ups and downs of the signals. When I’ve got the communication balanced and am picking up what they want me to they also switch into weight training. Sometimes I groan when I realise that they have added extra layers of information. They want me to ‘translate’ more of the energy. And then some more. Finally I get to warm down. Another meditative state to allow my human body and Spirit to come back into the three dimensional reality where we actually spend most of our lives.
Thank you exercise bike. I will be setting off on you again very soon. That means I’m also due another stint in the intuition gym working at my mediumship. That’s the excitement of developing an ability. You never know how far you can develop and I want to see how far I am able to get in this life. I hope you will join me int he intuition gym soon. It’s always an interesting work out!
I love giving gifts. All, sorts of items that I hope the recipient will appreciate. Of course I love receiving gifts too. But I’ve often struggled with the idea of receiving anything, feeling that it was me who should always do the giving. This last year has been a lesson in receiving though.
Gifts have come to me in very many ways. I have had time to be listened to. A gift of a car. The opportunity to find a place of retreat. I have received an amazing amount of healing energy from all sorts of sources. There have been so many positive compliments about my work. I have been treated to lunch, dinner and nights out. Books, CDs and films have been recommended to me because I would enjoy them. Many hugs have come my way too. I’m delighted to say I have received them all with open arms. Because I have finally grasped something fundamental to gifts and giving. There has to be a balance.
Just as I like to give so do the people around me. Including my Guides. Yet if I keep on giving and never taking someone is denied the pleasure that giving gifts can bring. I love looking for that something special which will have meaning for the other person. Or being able to do what, to me, might be a small thing. But it will make a big difference to the person receiving it. It’s not about thank you either. Giving creates a warm, fuzzy feeling in me because I’m sharing the love. I hope that those giving back to me get that same warm, fuzzy feeling too. After all, the more the love goes around the brighter our world.
Receiving is the other half of an important equation. An equation that is all about balance. When we get it right in giving and receiving gifts everyone feels the benefit of more love. I’m looking for other gifts to give this week. And open to receiving in return. I hope you have a gift filled week too.
I’m a great fan of jotting things down. So much so that I have lots of notebooks containing all sorts of scribbles, lists and mind maps. I have always tried to capture what pops into my mind as much as I can. Because I have learned these notes may be the inspiration for my next adventure.
Jotting something down serves as a reminder for me then. When I have a lot going through my mind keeping notes helps keep me on track. I find it easy to get distracted into the whys and wherefores of something and can end up loosing a lot of what comes in. So I love being able to go back a page or two to see what else was being processed by my mind. Sometimes I get a nice surprise. Something I have predicted has happened. Or there is a new creative idea all set out and ready to go. Going back months and even years I can trace how often an idea has come through. Long before the time is right for me to act on it.
I also find that my jotting contains inspirational words, hints and tips from the Energy Beings who work with me. When I am going about my human life they throw these into my notes for me to stumble across later. Like nuggets of encouragement to keep me going. Especially when I have stalled. Or I’m frustrated because I don’t understand something. Also, jotting in this way also helps me to reach the ideas I’m sitting back on. I often find that I doodle as I write. These are the subconscious threads still being woven together ready to be pushed across my conscious mind. It always amazes me when I look back and see doodles that now make perfect sense of what needed to come to the surface.
Of course I also enjoy jotting down ideas for my daily blog.
Not all the ideas get into the day they are noted. And a few are still sitting on my writing list because the idea isn’t ready to be expanded yet. But it’s surprising how, over several days, many of my inspirations fit together and quickly become a blog piece. If you haven’t adopted a pen and paper yet please do try taking notes as the ideas arrive. You never know – it may be your Guides letting you know what is about to happen to you next,
I’ve seen a couple of films recently about dark times. Moments in peoples lives when the worst has happened and it has been a challenge to do the right things. Of course I read and hear about all sorts of things every day. But what I noticed with the stories was that surviving was matter of finding hope.
I’ve always been encouraged by the story of Pandora. The way that her curiosity led her to open a box which let out all the evils of the world. That could have been the end of the story. Instead, at the very bottom of the box, under all the darkness she found a ray of hope. I feel that we have all been given a way of surviving even the worst of our experiences. That the hope I feel can carry me through anything. Yet describing what I hope in or for can escape me. Because hope is difficult to pin down. Am I thinking that I am still alive? Do I remind myself that I am still standing? Or perhaps I’m telling myself that it can get better?
Sometimes I don’t know. I’m in the darkness but looking for the light. And my hope spurs me on to believe and trust that I am surviving. Of course, since I got to know my Guides, I also know I’m not alone. My hope is boosted by the recognition that I am surviving the challenges with their help. Yet I still have to be the one hoping. I know that if I loose hope things will only get darker for me. So I stick to the story of Pandora. Reminding myself that there is always an up side to everything. Encouraging myself to feel the fear that the darkness brings. But to push myself on through it. Until I can recognise the love and the light shining into my dark place. I also know that to experience hope I have to experience it’s absence.
I have to know desolation, despair and defeat. Then I can feel the power of hope. The expectation, anticipation and excitement of Light breaking through into my darkness. I wouldn’t wish my dark times on anyone else. That’s actually because I know we all have dark times. But I am sending anyone trying to survive the darkness a ray of hope. Surviving is the important outcome. Let hope light your way.
Today my daughter has been reviewing her progress in her chosen course. She is working mainly with men in her studies as the subject she loves is often seen as a male preference. She has noticed that there can be a lot of competition between them. But she doesn’t approach her work that way.
This morning we had a discussion about women being able to vote. It has been one hundred years since women over thirty in the UK gained the right to vote in elections. Quite a landmark. So I couldn’t help but notice the synchronicity of this review date. Nor that we have entered another phase of Divine Feminine energy asking us to view our relationships as collaborations. Rather than make it all about competition. So as I was once again chatting with her this evening about her career choices we both listened hard to a news item on Channel 4 about feminism. I introduced my daughter to the books and work of Laura Bates, the Body Image Movement and feminist writing. And I hope it will help her balance the competitiveness of her chosen field with the collaboration necessary to help everyone succeed.
I believe that we all have a streak of competition within us. I find it’s a really useful emotion to boost me past giving up. When I’m doing something I like to compete with myself to see if I can do better than I did before. Because sometimes I tell myself I can’t do something well. Yet if I tried enough and stuck at it I would improve. In fact I have proved that with my mediumship. However, I have also needed to collaborate with others, especially my Guides, to find new or different ways to develop my skills. Competing with myself, collaborating with others and sticking at it has helped me to succeed. I feel that the Suffragettes knew far better than me how to do that. After all they got women the vote. And pushed on further to gain ground in improving women’s lives.
I’m glad my daughter understands the power of competing with herself. It’s also a blessing that she prefers to collaborate with others. In the end she will be successful in anything she does. I also feel that success will be shared with all of the people she works with. Because she understands the value of doing things together. And is prepared to put aside the corrosive aspects of competition in order to push forward with change.
I’m off for the weekend. Ready to explore new energy and share the laughter with good friends. I’m also ready to find my star to wish on.
I work quite a bit with the Star Beings who are trying to help the planet right now. One of my Guides, Blue, always reminds me to ask for her help when the distractions of our little planet get too much. Then she will zoom me up to the starts and take me into the deep cold vacuum of the Universe. Void of air perhaps. But not of life. One of the books I’ve been reading recently talks about the Universe as a manifestation of the W mind of the Divine. That it came into existence so the Divine could see itself thinking. I love being out amongst the stars so I can feel the power of Divine thought. Blue takes me timelessly across the, to us, empty reaches of space. She wants to show me how it is brim full of life.
I used to wonder what was between each star. Of course I’m not the only one to have ever done that. Now I have discovered so much about the nature of energy. I have discovered the Energy Beings who people the stars. Those who watch as we struggle to be the next evolution of humankind. These wonderful beings send us healing, love and inspiration. I know that they recognise our struggles. They have had the same journey into enlightenment that we now face. So I was delighted to see the constellations this evening. Peeping out at me as a reminder to aim high. To keep my eyes on the stars and to follow my dreams.
I also thought about how I shine my Light. I know I am a star glowing in the sky to remind others that the Universe is full of possibilities, opportunities and adventure. I am part of a constellation, along with my friends, pointing to the next steps of the journey we will all be taking together. So I hope that I represent the thoughts in the Divine Mind in the best way I can.
I had a lovely treat this evening. I went out with a friends to a concert. Todmorden Orchestra were playing the waltz music so famous in Vienna. I had planned a stay at home night but thoroughly enjoyed myself.
I love music and enjoy a wide variety of styles. The orchestra were playing music I would certainly tap my foot too. Or waltz along with. So I found it very uplifting. And also inspiring. Especially when I realised one of my Guides was standing behind me enjoying the music of the orchestra too. He was prompting me to notice how well they were playing. And how each note flowed, apparently effortlessly, from each musician. The conductor wafted his baton around and everyone seemed to know exactly what was required of them. The sound was unified. Even when I picked out one instrument or another the rest fitted around that one. It was, to me, a demonstration of perfect harmony.
I’m sure that my Guide wanted me to notice. Because as I thought about the harmony of the orchestra and musicians I also remembered how much dedication, discipline and practice is needed to learn to play an instrument. Plus all the hours of practice required to make it seem effortless. Each musician had individually reached a high standard in their performance. Then they had the task of learning to blend their individual sound into a mix with lots of other people. All without overshadowing, diminishing or drowning each other out. The conductor had to help them bring the best out of themselves and each other. How like life I thought. And mediumship. It is the mix or blend that matters. I know we have to do better at putting our energy together with other people’s.
This planet is home to the human orchestra. Lof us are still learning to play our instrument, only a few have become really good and the conductors are a bit slow in stepping forward. I hope that we can eventually play all the challenging pieces that are waiting for us. And finally come together to make beautiful music that uplifts us all.
What a week of contrasts. From the sluggishness of Monday and Tuesday to the return of energy from Wednesday onwards. The New Moon making it’s presence felt. And heralding the return of the Divine Feminine. At last!
My Guides have been taking about Divine Feminine energy for some years now. Especially from 2013 onwards. They kept advising me that a big shift would happen soon. Five years – counting as soon in their terms. They helped me to recognise that we are all a blend of feminine and masculine energy. Every one of us. And that I had to understand the importance of using both sources of energy in my life. I feel it’s fair to say I had worked out how to use my masculine energy. But I found it much harder to return to using the feminine flow within me. Yet my connection with my own Spirit and all the other Energy Beings depends on it.
However, I had long been interested in Goddesses. It seemed to me that there were more powerful role models for women if we sought out and experienced Goddess energy. So I did feel excited at the idea that the Earth would be shifting position to flow with more feminine energy. Because when the Earth shifts, as a human being who is part of the Earth’s aura, so do I. I also felt strongly that it was time for a return of Divine Feminine energy to empower my daughter and her daughter’s daughter’s children. Finally that energy has begun to manifest. From a cycle of feminine energy going back two hundred years I am now hearing women once again raise their voices to say ‘Enough is enough’.
What is missed when energy is out of balance is the opportunity to create and make it so – as a collaborative effort. When everything can return to a balanced position I believe each one of us will achieve beyond anything we can yet imagine. In a collective community of Spirit.
So back to this week and the first New Moon of the year. The first push of Divine Feminine to hit all of us full on. When I am riding the energy wave it can initially feel exhausting. Because I have to adjust to a higher vibration. Just like learning to surf bigger and bigger waves. My body, mind, feelings have to get used to the demands of that new experience. So I will feel more exhausted. For three days at the beginning of the week I was wide awake all night, riding the energy, and sleeping all day. Then the New Moon was finally here. I felt energy return. I could balance in this new energy and use it.
Use it to create order in my chaos. To dream some very big dreams. And to release myself from holding onto old me’s. This return of the Divine Feminine is all about activism. Not only talking about what feminine energy represents and challenging stereotypes I hold inside of me. But also turning my intentions into action. I have asked myself to take the necessary steps to embrace the full breadth of what being feminine represents. All the aspects of the Goddess. For me to honour the power of life and death as it inspires my creativity. And to work at balancing all of these aspects with their matching masculine energy.
I want to become a whole blend. Spirit and human. Feminine and masculine. I want the return of my true nature. The underlying uniqueness of who I am. So I’m looking forward already to the return of the New Moon in February. And wondering what wave I will be riding then. I hope it’s an even higher one!
I met a good friend for lunch today. We were catching up on all the changes happening to us. As we talked I realised that the script in my head had finally changed.
When I was growing up I worked hard to get other peoples approval. It mattered that I got on with them because otherwise the world could be a lonely place. But I also found it very confusing. Trying to work out who wanted what from me. How to settle on a ‘me’ that fitted all sorts of competing expectations. In the end I feel I managed to get my contact with others down to a set of scripts. Each script put my voice into the character that suited someone else best. So I was daughter, sister, work colleague, junior, senior, stand in mother, sex object, woman in the queue, server. So many different aspects. Yet non of them was the ‘real’ me. Until I became so muddled I didn’t actually know who I was any more.
Until I started to listen to my intuition. And my Guides turned up. By then the script had been edited, rewritten, edited again, thrown away, picked up again and edited some more. The first job my Guides had was to help me find my own script. The one I wrote as a Spirit before I came here. That document contained my blueprint. It was packed full all of all the things I said I wanted to achieve in my life. When I started to read it I found my authentic voice emerging. And I knew I had to change the dialogue I had with myself. It didn’t fit. Too many scripts had created contradictory descriptions of who I was. Even the directions I should head in.
I started by taking a long look at what I was telling myself. And what I wasn’t. The script had to go back to the basics. All the way back.
So did I. I had to learn to praise myself. To substitute kind words for the harsh ones I was using. By looking at myself again and again I could see what I valued about myself but had failed to recognise. Then came a more difficult step. Changing the script in my head was one thing. But I also had to change the way I spoke about myself too. What did I tell people about myself in the words I used? Did I show my love and gratitude for being me? Or was I still minimising myself? Because I wasn’t confident? Or too frightened of being judged?
Working to change the way I presented myself to the world I had to look at my gaps as well as my abilities. Then I had to decide if I wanted to please myself or others. In the end I realised I could only please myself. I could run myself ragged trying to please everyone who crossed my path. That would really be an impossible mission. When I got to that point my Guides encouraged me to speak my own truth. Not because it is the only truth. But because it is my experience of being human. It is as valuable as every other persons experience. This also changed the way I communicated with my Guides and the people around me. My conversations became a much easier give and take.
The basic script had finally allowed me space to be me. And for me to allow others to be themselves too. Our dialogues matter. They translate the world for us. They alter our perceptions of our reality. Do you praise yourself enough? Are you happy with the way you represent yourself to the world? Is it time to speak positively and lovingly about yourself – inwardly and outwardly?