It was great today to meet up with my lovely friend Brenda who writes and also does PR. We talked about the frustration that happens when everything seems to be confusion and chaos.
Then I had a conversation with one of my favourite spiritual friends, Diane, where the same topic of frustration came up again. Both these discussions centred on the process of change. I know that when I feel restless and ready to change it can be a bit difficult to find out when that change is going to happen. Or exactly what I’m aiming for. There is always a bit of a pause, just after I decide I’m going to change, when it seems I’m surrounded by chaos. Then the confusion piles in on top. I feel like like I have lost control of the whole change thing.
In the past I would let the frustration build up way past boiling point. I would rush around trying to plan, organise and be in charge of every little thing. It was my way of trying to reassure myself that I knew exactly what was happening. And where I was going with everything. One of the biggest steps forward for me last year was to recognise my pattern. Trying to be in control was my coping mechanism for the insecurity that change naturally brings. We want certainty. It’s far less stressful. Yet I know I live in an uncertain world to some degree. Tomorrow is always a hope because all we really have is today.
Thinking about the level of frustration I’ve been feeling recently I recognised that I can cope with the uncertainty much better. I don’t need to know exactly where this set of changes is taking me.
Somewhere along the line I’ve developed more trust in myself and the world. I can wait and see. It seems because I am more relaxed the direction of the changes has become a lot clearer much quicker. The hints and half ideas I’ve been getting are coming into focus very fast now. I can see the big picture and I love the direction I’m being taken in. I’ve lost my frustration at not knowing immediately where the changes lead. Accepting that I will be confused has given me the space to let the processing happen in the back of my brain. So rather than chaos that has no end I find myself sure of each next step.
From the outside I admit that it might still look like chaos and confusion. But not frustrating. Instead I found myself speaking confidently to Brenda and Diane about my direction for the next few years. I know that I still have quite a bit to resolve yet. There are more decisions to be taken. But I’m putting aside the uncertainty of it all. Of course it does help that my Guides keep sending in confirmations of the new direction. They also keep reminding me that some things I had planned to do will not happen. They are old energy. So I’m taking their suggestion and checking everything I’m expecting to do.
Their advice is: Look for those things that flow with the new energy you are feeling. Notice the things that you have done the same way for a long time. Ask yourself if the old really fits with the new and let go of anything that doesn’t. Be prepared to start with a blank sheet of paper. Remind yourself to welcome in all the new opportunities. Order will return to your life in the end.
Day 437 of my blogging challenge.