Friendships Come And Go But Each Adds Value

friendshipsIt’s been a day of friendships. I had a closing down sale at my Centre because I have to move on to new work. So it was lovely to greet friends as they called in and shared a final cuppa in that space.

Sometimes friendships last a lifetime. Sometimes they don’t. I have been very lucky to have good friends around me all of my life. Not necessarily always the same friends. My life has taken me to several parts of the country, different homes and neighbourhoods and a variety of people. I’m always amazed at the way in which new friendships spring up wherever I am. Sometimes that means I have had to let go of old friendships. Or that they have reached a natural end for both of us. Yet I also know that each relationship has been a part of my growth and expansion. I’ve learned to let go, to grow close, to share a friend with others, to have many different friends. Each pairing has been worth it.

So now it’s time to let some friendships fade a little into the background. I’m grateful for what these relationships have given me and for the people who have become my friends. I know that some people will stay in my life for longer. They have become part of the journey I’m currently on. But I’m also aware that they too may need to find a different path at some time in the future. When we move onto separate tracks I hope that I can honour what the relationship has meant to me, to us, in a positive way. That’s not always easy. Friendships sometimes end in disarray. With falling out. Or unhappiness with each other. Yet these endings are also valuable. They help me to work out what not to do in my next relationship with someone.

I have never expected to have life-long friends. But I have been blessed with a few of these friendships. I also know I have been blessed with every single friendship I have ever had. Good, bad or indifferent each relationship has helped me value other people and their share in my life. I’m looking forward to more friends on this next part of my journey.

Day 735 of my blogging challenge

Calling On Friendship: Help At Hand

Calling for helpI’ve been doing a bit more work to finalise my book today. It needs a cover. In a muddle I started calling on my friends for assistance. Thank goodness for their support.

I know I have a tendency to get in a dither. Especially when I know what I have to decide can make a big difference to me. Bringing my first book into being has had me calling on all sorts of abilities I wasn’t sure I even possessed. My writing for a start. Believing I could do it. And sticking with it through all the tedious bits. Now I have to finalise all those little details that make it as professional as possible. Checking the spellings, comma placements and grammar. Looking at what I’ve written with a fresh pair of eyes to make sure it’s relevant to the story. Making sure that there is a flow between each section. And trying to make sure it isn’t boring or long winded.

Having got through those things I’m left with how it will look when published. What should I put on the cover? That’s where I decided calling on my friends was a good idea. And they responded to my shout out. Not so that they would make the choice. But so that I could stop my ideas going round and round. I find that is a wonderful part of friendship. My friends knew that I needed to step back from the stuck spot. So they helped me do it. And they know that I will help them to step back whenever necessary. Get some space and look at things with fresh eyes.

Calling on friends wouldn’t have occurred to me a while back. I really thought I had to manage everything all by myself.

That meant I wasn’t valuing my friends in the best way. Because they wanted to help. It was me who was stuck on not asking. Or even when I did, on not receiving the help. Nor was I valuing myself. My friends wanted to help because I had helped them. We were in relationships based on giving and receiving. Except that I was unwilling to receive. It took me a long time to recognise that I was suffering from a serious shortage of self-worth and self-belief. Fortunately my friends kept calling, sticking with me until I had figured it out, making sure I had the chance to learn to accept.

Today I thought about how much better I am at receiving help. About asking for it in the first place. And I’m writing about it because I know that many other people are also stuck about asking for help. It’s part of the difficulty that hinders that community feeling we all hope for. When everyone is focused on giving and no one is receiving we have a one sided ¬†society. And the energy of compassion is stuck. To make it flow I have to become open to receiving and passing in all the goodness that is offered to me. Fortunately my friends have helped me get into a better balance with this. Now I can help others to notice and experience the balance of giving and receiving.

I owe my friends a lot. They have improved my life by calling on me to receive as well as give. Today I showed I could ask for help. And they very generously gave it. I’m delighted to receive their inspiration once again.

Day 622 of my blogging challenge 

Friendship is eternal

thank youIt has been lovely this week to share time with friends old and new. Whether it’s over Facebook, Skype, face to face or over the phone checking in with friends is a magical bonus to this festive season. It doesn’t matter if someone has been a short term friend, known me all through my life or pops in and out every now and then. Each person has made a contribution to the history of my life. I sometimes spend time reminding myself of all the wonderful people who I call friends. I wonder how they are, what they are now doing in their lives and if I will get to see them again.

For the friends I see a lot, the answers are easy to give. For those who are now out on their journey further away from me I hope that they are finding joy in their their lives. For my social media friends I hope that I can see their posts when it’s time for me to offer support, encouragement & laughter. A text can be a quick way to send a smile or hug too. Sometimes it’s about giving myself time to make that phone call or to Skype when the written word can’t do justice to the feelings I want to convey to my friends. Or they really need to find a listening ear, a warm how can I help or an it’s going to be ok. I guess friendship isn’t measured by the amount of time you spend with someone or what you do for each other. For me friendship is about those moment to moment connections that happen when you feel like you’ve met someone who ‘gets’ you. A shared ‘something’ that makes a sort of sense of the world for that instant.

One of the interesting thing about my work is who steps forward to give messages from the Spirit World. People often expect their nearest & dearest. Sometimes they are surprised that a friend has come to speak to them. They wonder why that person & not a family member. Yet friendship can carry us through the challenges of life, sometimes more successfully than anything else, because it is a wonderful form of love. Friendship is giving and sharing too. Our friends are the people who are prepared to tell it like it really is. So our friends on the Spirit side still want to be here for us. They want to remind us of what we shared together. Most especially they want to show that time, space and eternity can’t get in the way of a loving friendship.

It’s a festive time, a time to celebrate the change from dark to light, in whatever way that has meaning for each of us. Take a few moments to remember all the friendships you have had in your life, especially those still walking along with you, – you might be surprised at how many people are on your list of friends. Try not to judge the nature of the friendship you had or currently have – remember that for an instant or more someone understood enough about you and your life to share moments with you. Then add in all of the friends who live in the pink perfect now. Don’t forget your Guides either. Do you see that you have never really been alone? Do you understand that you have love around you all of the time? Fill yourself up with that loving friendship and let it spill out once more to all of your friends. I believe that what you give out you get back. I’m sending all of my friends in all dimensions my loving thanks today.

Day 37 of my blogging challenge.