I’m back in upgrade energy again. The New Moon has arrived with another blast of Divine Feminine energy. It’s time for a birthing. Time for a new me. And long past time to get real changes happening in the outer world.
Giving birth to anything new, and including babies, requires a lot of effort. As the time gets nearer to deliver the new it’s as if the birthing gets even harder. And more painful. Seeing my idea, project, body waiting to push a creation out into the world certainly feels exhausting. After all, I have carried that idea, project or creation for a long time. I’ve nourished it. Communicated with it. Worried about it. And had dreams for it. When the reality of it’s entry into the world hits I feel a mixture of impatience, fear, excitement and expectation. I can’t wait for the birthing to be over. But there is also the realisation that the last few pushes are going to be painful too.
Because I have to push myself to let go. Be ready to see what I’ve created as independent from me. No longer my closely held idea or project. Others will get involved. My creation will take on a life of it’s own. It won’t belong only to me any more. So I can’t keep it safe, or just the way I would like it to be. Birthing is also an upgrade. The pangs of pain I feel are showing me where I am still resisting letting go. They are showing me what wisdom I still need to acquire. Or what I am failing to trust. Especially if I am failing to trust myself. Each birthing involves me becoming a new you. I’m now the creator of something else. Something outside of myself. I have grown by the experience of creating.
As with all birthing times the key is to rest, conserve energy and await that last push. I am using the New Moon energy to recognise where I have expanded myself and where I have changed. That will help me to focus through the pain and get my creativity out as a material thing. I’m also looking forward to that fabulous moment when the pain recedes into the background and I finally meet the new me.
Day 814 of my blogging challenge
My plants have been calling me. Gardening is a low on my priority list at the moment. Today I needed to answer that call. And get myself firmly on the ground again.
It’s been a hectic month. With still one more energy upgrade to come in. I’m waiting for the inner shift that I know will happen when the wave peaks. So I’m trying my best to float along with all of the events. Giving myself time to process what has already happened. And the space to let the opportunities come in. I’m also being realistic about delays. I’ve spent a chunk of the weekend working with a great designer to complete the proofing of my book. Yet it’s been very slow. One solution after another has led to a fresh issue. We have been messaging back and forward. Uploading. Downloading. And uploading once more. It could have been very stressed. Except I wandered into gardening.
What a relief! For me and the plants. Most of the plants are in pots as I only have one flower bed. But they were all asking for a good tidy up. Weeds needed encouraging to go away. Old growth had to be stripped back. The bench needed moving so it could catch the afternoon sun. As I worked away the gnomes were also delighted to see me gardening. They put up with my random forays into their domain. So long as I move things according to their advice. Or do what they consider is necessary. Because they like a bit of wildness in the garden. So I have a corner just for them. And my pots are tidy for me. After spending a quiet but energetic hour gardening I felt much better. My connection to Mother Earth was restored. I could feel the Earth again beneath my feet.
Being intuitive affects my whole life. But I also have to make sure that it’s a balance. Spending time gardening is a form of self-care. To make sure I live in both my worlds – the intuitive and the material. Is it time to make time for your plants?
Day 671 of my blogging challenge
Some days it feels like two steps forward and one step back. Although I have more energy and inspiration since the last energy upgrade, today I hit a snag. I didn’t feel particularly motivated about anything!
I had some plans. Especially as I know it’s time to take steps to get my book upload completed. But whatever I tried to do with it on my computer this afternoon seemed to hit a brick wall. I realised after an hour I was getting nowhere really fast. Stepping back I thought about the eclipse energy that’s on it’s way in. The Moon in between the Sun and the Earth. That event is growing closer. So the energy from the sun will be blocked temporarily. By the watery influence of the Moon. It reminded me of ArchAngel Rophea, the Earth’s Guardian Angel of Opposites, who reconciles fire and water. It’s the end of her month of influence and it’s ending with a big push to get us to be balanced.
As I thought about what needed to be balanced I realised I had slipped back a little. Steps I could have taken had been put on hold because a little bit of resistance energy was still floating around. I recognise that it’s hard to step forward when I still don’t quite believe I’m the right one for the job. So I’m not putting myself out into the world as confidently as I could. As I thought about the challenge of balancing feelings and action, I understood that I had to do something to boost my momentum. So I got out my paints. Because I love being creative. Then I opened up my Newsletter for the Centre. Because it was supposed to have been sent out Friday (in my mind anyway). And I painted, wrote, designed and did more painting.
These aren’t the steps I planned. But they felt like the right things to do to honour the pause in my plans. By the end of the afternoon I felt in balance again. I sent out the finished Newsletter with a smile. Reconciling opposite energies is easier than it sounds. So long as I stay in a creative zone. Happy Eclipse energy!
Day 636 of my blogging challenge
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The upgrade continues. Today I found myself emptying boxes and containers looking for possessions to recycle, release or throw in the rubbish. Fortunately I wasn’t doing it all on my own.
I’m a bit of a hanger-on. I keep all sorts of things in the hopes that I can use them again. Or because they are still nearly new. Or have sentimental value. Even the replacement buttons for cardigans that I’ve sent to the charity shop years ago. I have a sort of ‘just in case’ mentality that I’m sure came from my Mum and Nanna. When money was tight they saved and reused everything they could. It was their way to recycle. So I acknowledge I’ve learned to be a hoarder from an early age. But not any longer. Because I know that stuck ‘stuff’ in my physical space also blocks the flow of abundance.
However I also recognise that even with the best of intentions I struggle to recycle my stuff. That’s when it’s wise to acknowledge the barrier. So I asked someone to help me. My lovely friend Rosie enjoys decluttering. She also, obviously, enjoys a challenge! For three hours today we unpacked, uncovered and dived into boxes, bags, drawers. In an orderly way I designated things to be sold on Amazon, items for the charity shop, bits for the recycling bin and unusable or broken objects for the bin bag. Inspired by this clearing I also identified 3 items of furniture that can be offered to new homes. And we moved my room around a little so that it felt light and airy.
Tonight I feel like it’s a recycle job well done. I hardly noticed the items leaving me as Rosie and I chatted. She valiantly put all sorts of ‘hard to let go of’ objects in front of me (books and CDs especially) and encouraged me to let go. As the clearing of energy goes on why not find a friend to help you let go too? It really can be so easy!
Day 625 of my blogging challenge
I’m glad I’ve had a busy day mentoring. Because I woke up this morning with an upgrading of my intutive system going on. In other words my body was going ouch!
I always know when I’m getting an energy boost. Because I develop slight cold symptoms for 32 to 48 hours although a full blown cold doesn’t happen. I also feel rather tired and need to rest. Then I loose my appetite too and forget to eat. Usually that is followed by upgrading of my intuitive senses. So ringing or buzzing in my ears. Headache feelings across my forehead. Especially where my third eye is located. And the feeling that cobwebs are drifting across my skin. My joints can ache as well as other parts of my body where stuck energy is being pushed out.
Small upgrades happen all the time. Like regularly scheduled maintenance. Bigger upgrades happen every now and again when I have a full reboot of my system. All this means is that my intutive senses are working better, receiving clearer information and I am translating it faster. However, Inc Erin a while the upgrading is a massive blast. Something that’s necessary for a whole new level of functioning. Then my body can be full of energy surges aligning me to that new level. And I can get much more serious ouch effects. Like today. My chest hurt, my right knee throbbed and my shoulders were cramped. In other words, lots of old energy surfacing from deep down to be let go.
Upgrading can be hard. So the distraction of work was very welcome. I could forget the pain for a while and enjoy the successes of my clients. Who are also all going through an upgrade. Because the whole world is. So tonight it’s time for me to rest, reflect and let the upgrading finish. And look forward using to the new software!
Day 624 of my blogging challenge
There was another energy upgrade on Monday. So ever since the energy has been wobbly. And wibbly. Trying to balance it out I’ve got cold symptoms!
It happens every time the energy around me changes significantly. The wobble begins and I go into ‘clearing’ mode. Because that’s what the symptoms really represent. I’m releasing stuck energy. Some of it years and years old. That’s why I appreciate the line from Dr Who about ‘wibbly wobbly timey wimey’ so much. Because the energy that has got stuck has no relevance to today. Or whatever I’m doing in my life now. And the cause has been lost. Or the effects blurred.
So I’ve been resting as much as possible. Trying to be at ease with the releasing. I’m not worried what I’m releasing. I just want it to hurry up and go. I’ve also spent some time meditating to pull in the loving energy. In that way I will be able to replace the low vibrational energy with a top up of positivity. I’m also very aware that whilst I’m out of balance I will be wobbly. My world view might be less positive than normal. Or I might be tempted to focus on my worries or fears. So I’m keeping away from anything that might prompt me to get into a negative cycle of thoughts and feelings.
Of course sometimes disappearing into my tent or retreating from the world doesn’t happen. I might still have to be around and about. Yet when a wobble hits it’s interesting that my diary tends to clear as if by magic.
Those things that stay active are the ones I really have to do to regain my balance. I know that those activities will bring me back into myself. Perhaps by bringing me more insight into what has to be let go. Or to offer me a new perspective on past events. Even to give me a clear way forward. So no matter how runny my nose, how much coughing I do or the strength of my headaches what will come out of all this is a better way of living as myself. My whole self. The non-wobbly self deep inside. Knowing that I can love myself even at my most miserable. Getting myself back in balance because I’m worth it.
My head is too woolly to discuss ‘timey wimey’ today. Except to say it really isn’t a straight line. Or even a ‘real’ experience. My Spirit knows everything happens for a reason. It’s only my Ego Mind that resists. It’s at the heart of my wobbly moments. I’m off to talk to my Spirit self again until I get back to ‘normal’.
Day 472 of my blogging challenge.
The energy right now is bringing our worries to the surface. It’s time to face our fears. How do we keep trust and faith in positive outcomes? Are you looking for your white feather blessing?
There has been a tradition that white feathers turn up when the angels are sending you a signal of hope. Or when the loved ones in Spirit want you to know that they are around. Until I started using my intuition, noticing my feelings and paying attention to small details I hadn’t considered the possibility of signs. Being rather of a logical mind I dismissed all sorts of signs as imaginings. I know that I was being encouraged to see a blessing every time. But I wasn’t in a place in my thinking to appreciate my blessings. Or to pay attention to communications from Energy Beings.
Now, many years later, I love getting a signal from the other dimensions. I take it as an encouragement. Like a voice saying ‘keep going, don’t give up, we are with you’. One of the signals they use the most is the white feather. My photo is of the one that floated around my head and landed on the pavement in front of me this afternoon. There was no noticeable breeze. Yet this feather danced in a circle before gently zig zagging down to the ground right in front of me. As I tried to get a photo it skipped around a little. And in this picture (but not the others) it is all white and fuzzy though the detail of the ground is clear. I smiled when I saw it. A blessing falling down to me.
I have been busy working in a higher energy vibration for most of the last week. Today I was feeling the sluggishness of stepping out of that energy. Alomgside of more clearing and an energy upgrade too. Quite a lot to take on.
I know I needed some encouragement. There were several things I had to deal with that would require a lot of positive energy. And clear vision. Alongside plenty of determination. I’m stepping back from some work that I feel is necessary so I can focus on other work that is now a priority. And I’m not that good yet at letting go. Mulling things over in my mind I decided on a short walk to get some fresh air. That’s when my white feather blessing turned up. Letting off some steam later during my exercise session I felt that I had come back into focus. I’m ready to step up and get on with the things that need doing right now. I know each one will take me further towards my bigger dreams.
I also know today’s blessing is not the first, or the last, to remind me to keep faith with myself and the bigger picture. Dreams are built of small steps. Of sorting out the detail. Bit by bit following my intuition to the next moment of inspiration. I hope that you find your white feather blessing. They are confirming that you are loved, safe and going in the best direction for you. Let the fear go. Release your worries as much as you possibly can. Let the white feathers be your guide.
Day 353 of my blogging challenge.
I’ve been back home for two days and I already have a head cold. Today there has been a sharp shift in the weather. The season is changing and so am I. There has been an energy upgrade again.
Along with having to put my central heating on again I’ve felt colder too. Of course I’ve been somewhere that was a lot warmer so I expected to have to adjust. I guess that I also forgot that when I get away I often have an energy upgrade. My teachers take the opportunity to shift my personal vibration level up another notch. So long as I am prepared to do the energy clearing work necessary for it to happen. Sometimes it takes me a little while to notice that it’s happened. But when it’s a significant shift there are things that clue me in.
One of them is a cold. It seems a bit mad to get an ‘illness’ when you have moved to a clearer vibration. Yet that sudden shift knocks the aura and immune system out of balance for a little while. I have to adjust, energetically and physically, to the increased flow of energy. Once I am back in balance, usually after about 24-48 hours, everything will settle down. Another thing is my ability to connect. After an energy upgrade I can connect better and more strongly. Yet it’s as if the shift has switched my usual ways of connecting. It feels different. Almost like I don’t know what I’m doing. Or how I’m doing it.
I’ve done two church services and they went well. However, I felt a bit disorientated. I was working but not in my usual format. My directional compass was off in some way. Like the wind had changed suddenly.
It’s a really strange feeling to give messages but also notice that I’ve been set to deliver things in a different way. I know it will settle down in a few days. While it lasts it’s almost like trying to feel a tooth that’s not there anymore. Odd. Something is missing but I don’t know what. Of course, since I’ve had a lot of upgrades over the years I know what is missing. Some of the vibrational energy that was holding me down has been released. Stuck and blocked stuff has been poked and prodded until the shift happened. New, more positive energy has taken it’s place.
An upgrade also brings a clearer sense of purpose. Eventually. I’ve had a couple of nights waking up repeatedly as if I’ve forgotten to do things. Then today my mind has been almost blank. All the overthinking has suddenly stopped. I feel more able to go with the flow. Also more trusting that underneath it all everything is right for me in my world. An upgrade usually brings with it a sense of peace. Something new is happening. It will unfold, like me, in it’s own good time. I’m ready to notice what I’ve been thinking, reading, hearing and seeing from a more detached point than ever before.
The weather shifts and reminds us of the ebb and flow of our lives. New conditions need new responses. Nothing stays still forever.
Neither do I. I love that we evolve and change. Finding the wisdom in every stage of life. Enjoying the journey. Being ready for all circumstances. Each upgrade brings so much more of life’s experiences into alignment. Because each upgrade opens me up to loving myself and others more unconditionally than before. That’s the gift that this shift brings. A new way of loving all that is around, within, above, below. I wish you enjoyment of your upgrades too.
Day 316 of my blogging challenge.