For a while I’ve been drawing back. Encountering endings with a tinge of sadness but a heart full of hope. It’s the year when I needed to make changes. Ready for a fresh start in a few weeks.
I’ve found myself drawing on all my reserves this year. As I head to the end, in this last couple of weeks, I’m noticing how weary I have become. Never weary of serving the Spirit and Energy people. But definitely weary of the way people demand that I give and give. Then turn round and demand that I give their way even more. Funnily enough, my Guides have never demanded anything of me. They asked me if I was willing to serve their higher purpose and, after a lot of thought, I said yes. Then they showed me where to go, what to do and who to connect with. Always with the respect that I could say no to anything they asked.
This evening my work in the Spiritualist churches and Centres was drawing to a close. I visited a lovely place in Sale to do my last public service. I know it will be some time before I return to public demonstrations of message mediumship. Because the Guides have asked me to work on the kinds of mediumship that offer evidence rather than messages. And I have agreed. With some relief. I have loved meeting people across the country in all sorts of Spiritualist groups. But I was, and may always be, a reluctant medium. Standing on a stage giving messages is something I’ve done as a service. Not because of a religion. A service to my Guides and the Spirit people who queue up to console their loved ones. And the people who have received comfort from what evidence and messages I can give them.
I won’t miss drawing back from those people who have seen this service as only to themselves. Who have let Ego blind them to the wonder of getting a message at all.
That really does happen. My messages are judged, and sometimes found wanting, by people who have never tried to communicate this way. The evidence I bring has been scrutinised, pulled to bits and rejected because a loved one didn’t say a particular word. Or, worst still, although my message has been correct it’s not what the person wanted to hear so they have dismissed it completely. What a waste. For all of us involved. I feel the worst of the worst though, is the expectation that I am there to entertain. Drawing on a common misconception, that it’s all a bit of fakery or foolery, some people expect to watch the people getting the messages. They want tears and laughter, often embarrassment or secrets revealed, all as long as it’s not them.
The Spiritualist Movement has missed a big opportunity. The chance to show what good and excellent mediumship can be. Out in the grass roots there are many honest, ethical mediums working day in and out to serve the Spirit World. Drawing on the best of these unsung heroes would go a long way to showing people what is at the heart of mediumship. The dedication, love and thoughtfulness with which each medium works to serve a loving purpose. Yet many places are driven by the Ego needs of individuals who are not mediums. Both in the management and attendance. I’ve talked before about educating sitters, the people who get the messages, drawing on all that knowledge contained in the Movement. But still we struggle to get people to understand what is happening.
Drawing back to serve in a different way is my answer. I know that my Guides want to educate people about connecting with the Energy Beings. Once it is better understood they hope that people will value the communication in a more reflective and considered way. Not as something to pass an hour on TV, in a theatre or in a Spiritualist venue. But as a genuine experience of comfort. And support for the notion that life does continue after physical death.
Day 748 of my blogging challenge