I was tired last night. Looking forward to a good sleep. Yet I woke up four times from emotional dreams. Though each time I felt I was letting something go.
Dreams are fascinating. They are a way of my mind processing the events I have experienced. They are also messages from my unconscious mind to help me make sense of what is going on in and around me. I also find that my Guides appear fairly often in my dreams. And sometimes I have to be very firm in telling them to let me sleep. Because sleep is an altered state of consciousness at one end of a spectrum that starts with consciously experiencing my world. My trance mediumship is somewhere in the middle. And when the energy waves are very strong my dreams also respond just as my waking mind does. So my dreams can be a rollercoaster. No wonder I woke up!
On each waking I was in a hurry to get back to sleep. I wanted to drift off into that space where my Ego mind was shut down. Because I enjoy a lot of my dreams. They bring me messages of encouragement and love when my Guides are around. Each time I was hoping for a good dream. Yet each time it seemed I wandered into turbulent emotions. Though each time when I surfaced from my sleep I couldn’t remember what I’d been dreaming about. All that kept coming into my mind was ‘let it go’. When I finally woke up properly this morning I asked myself what had gone. Then burst out laughing. Because it doesn’t matter what has shifted. So long as I am getting lighter and brighter I don’t need to know how it’s happening.
I love my sleep. Tonight I’m hoping for a dream free night though. Unless, of course, my Guides want to pop in and have a chat. If it’s time for you to let go of old emotions I wish you sweet dreams. And the support of your Guide Team too.
I don’t know where I went in my dreams last night. But the darkness certainly felt like it was pressing in. I was restless. Keen to get out of the dreams.
Searching for my freedom from something I remember waking up trying to recall a word. I know I said it in my dreams. It seemed to connect them all together. And it also seemed to be the key to setting me free. Free from what I wondered? From my fears came bouncing back at me. Along with another thought. Voiced by someone else. Karma is when you recieve the pain you caused others. Then have to feel it. As well as live it. It took me a little while to get back into balance. Looking back at my life I know there are threads that tie together. Waiting in the darkness of my shadow side are patterns and habits that drive me even when I think I’m making rational choices.
I thought about the delight I felt yesterday when I made my book ‘live’ to be purchased next week. The first copy is winging it’s way to me already. Yet, following the feel of my dreams last night, today has been one of potential setbacks. One stride forward three thousand steps back. But I also realise that the darkness in me is trying it’s best to swamp me. After all, if I do make big changes in my life my Ego Mind has nothing to frighten me with. It won’t be able to keep me small. Does that mean that I will play out endless karma? How can I release myself from what I have created? That’s the reminder I was being given. It’s time to challenge myself to embrace that darkness and show it some light.
Yet I feel I have been doing that for a year. The darkness has been in and around me pulling me back every time the light has pulled me forward.
I know that the resistance from the Ego Mind is at it’s highest at the tipping point when change is only a fraction of a step away. Then there’s the fact that I am catching the energy of the second big wave meant to shift us all forward. September has been heavy with unpredictable energy. Surfacing, clearing and surfacing the fears for me once more. This shift, at it’s peak tomorrow, is all about letting us know that everything that can happen happens somewhere. What that means is that the energy between the parallel worlds is very thin. We get a glimpse down the trouser legs of time, as Terry Pratchett would have put it. I have been experiencing, through my dreams, the me who made different choices.
The exchange of energy has shown me who I would have been, and who I am, in another life. Also who I am with and what I am doing in that series of lives. Because I’m picking up more than one life. So it’s easy for me to get lost or confused about what is actually happening in this life. I know it’s a hard thing to process. I spent a lot of the morning trying to check which life I was in whilst my Ego Mind kicked up a load of fear energy. The point of recognising parallel lives helps me to let go of those fears though. Somewhere, in some life, I am doing all of the things I dream about doing in this life. There are infinite possibilities. So I’m also lucky that I like the way my life is now. And where it’s going. That way the darkness doesn’t suck me into a fear state.
Once this current ‘thin-ness’ between the dimensions passes it will be up to me how much darkness I keep in my life. My dreams also showed me that I can be free. The key to being free is being me. The one driving the choices in this life from my Spirit self, not my Ego Mind. The missing word is authentic. Puzzle solved!
Over the last week I’ve been having deep dreams. Plenty of them. Tangled recollections of my past in this life. With elements thrown in that I don’t recognise. All seeming to take me back to other times.
Yet, at the same time, these dreams contain symbols of travel. Cars, trains, a large ship, even a bicycle. I recognise that I’m being reminded I’m on a journey. Though it seems, at this particular point, that in my outer life I feel a bit becalmed. Stalled in some way. Definitely waiting for something to happen. Perhaps feeling the weight of the World too much. Of course I’m plodding along in a way. I’m taking each day as it arrives and doing my best to do what I feel is right for that day. But the bigger picture is missing right now. My focus seems to have shifted to re-examining my past experiences.
So along come the dreams. Not necessarily bad dreams. Because they take me back doesn’t mean I’ve got problems with what has happened in my past. But I awake from each one with a slightly different understanding of what might have been happening back then. I see that I was given lots of choice. There were times when I decided things, for all the wrong reasons, that somehow turned out right. By linking back in the dreams I’m being reminded that somehow I have made progress. Each phase of my life has allowed me to travel a new path. By doing that I have learned so much about being human.
My dreams are also showing me the times when I felt overwhelmed by being in charge of my own destiny. Even the times when my dreams crashed and burned.
When I didn’t honour my needs, dreams and abilities. And when I resisted asking for, or receiving, help with my burdens. Even if they were the ones I had created for myself. Because I can always ask for help. Or take some time to work it out with the help of other people and Energy Beings. It is possible to lighten my load. If I can find a hearer, companions to share with or those who can sustain me. I can also, with loving kindness, hand back any burdens I have taken on that really belong to others.
My dreams belong to me. I can’t manifest any for someone else. When I go into these deep dreams I’m also being reminded that each of us has to follow their own path with their own purpose. So the people who pop up in my dream have to be allowed to move forward with their own dream. Shouldering their own burden. I can help by giving them loving kindness. But it will be up to them if they receive and use it to lighten their load. In the end we might find that we have do-created a shared dream. That would be a wonderful outcome. But I’m also being reminded it’s not the only option.
I am embracing these deep dreams. I am revisiting, once again, who I am and what I have to offer. Ready for that moment when the tide turns. And my ship sails again. I’m going to be navigating to a new place. A place of more dreams.
I woke from a dream this morning. But I couldn’t remember the thread of it. I felt it was very strong yet the story faded very quickly.
That’s the nature of our dreams. They are jumbled, half rembered snippets. Most of the time. Occasionally I have such a vivid dream that it stays clear and I can write it down. Even understand it’s meaning for my life. And today as I tried to capture the fast fading dream it was because I hoped it had some meaning. I’m deep into a process of changing my life. However I’m also at that point when it seems I’ve lost the thread I was following. My certainty about the pattern of my life has disappeared. I can’t see the big picture let alone any of the threads that weave my life together into an understandable whole.
Of course it’s not the first time I’ve made changes. I am sure it won’t be the last time either. So I also know that bit by bit I will pick up the thread of each part of my life once more. However, this time I’m also embracing this period of not knowing what’s going on. The urge to grab at anything concrete is very strong. But I’m aware I may pull on a thread that ends up leading to a dead end. Or to me spending time and energy on something I end up deciding I don’t feel passionate enough about. Whilst I’m in this part of the process I have decide to observe but not choose. To stay silent and listen to my inner voice. And to be relaxed about what I do with my life.
I have resisted putting together a bucket list. Or a wish list either. Right now I am comfortable with my not knowing what I want. The threads of my life are changing. I’m content to let the new picture emerge.
I’ve been writing about the energy shifts for a little while now. About how this is a year of new beginnings. The first in a cycle of nine and this year I get to pick my course for all of that time. So how do I choose?
If you have been reading my blog for a while you’ll know I can get stuck very easily with choosing. It’s a bit of a Libran challenge. The urge to procrastinate in case I decide on the wrong thing. So I’ve been working for some years to get comfortable with the idea that all choices can be reversed. Or can lead to new choices that take me back to where I started. If I want. In fact I’m getting more spontaneous because I accept that not choosing at all is a waste of energy. I’ve discovered that choices aren’t concrete. And they don’t all have to be perfectly right. That’s a useful change when I’m considering setting my course for the next nine years.
Now is the time to step into fresh energy. To make choices that will set me off on a better course through those nine years. But how? One of the things I’ve noticed over the past five or six days is an energy shift. Once more I’m finding it hard to sleep or stay asleep. I’m waking up tired. Because I’ve been having restless, vivid dreams all night. Dreams that bring up uncomfortable feelings. Ways I’d rather not feel as they are low vibration emotions like fear, anger, sadness. Some have been quite graphic I think. Yet when I wake I can’t quite remember the content of my dreams. Interesting, as I’m usually a good lucid dreamer.
As usual, when I’d had three nights of this type of sleep I asked my Guides what was going on. Of course I’d already forgotten it was the waning phase of the moon. So obvious really. My Guides came back with the answer that I was letting go.
Letting go of what I wondered? Some of the snippets I could remember seemed at odds with my life experiences. Then there was another lightbulb moment. I was busy letting go a whole load of past life stuff that was still hanging around in this life. I find that the interesting thing about my karma is that I’ve built lots of echos of past life struggles into this life. But I don’t always know it. Often it’s after events have happened that I realise it’s an echo. Sometimes I haven’t realised. So it turns out the energy I’m releasing whilst I’m asleep has never made it into my consciousness. Somehow it has to go. Or I risk being blown off course.
I have to say that I thought I had done as much clearing out of stuck energy as I could in 2016. What a challenging year! Now it turns out that I have stuff stored away that I hadn’t known existed. But it’s stuff I don’t need to really bring into my conscious mind. Instead I can let my subconscious mind get to work releasing it. The benefit to me is when it goes my decisions will be clearer. Especially since they stop being based on stuff I didn’t know was influencing me in the first place. Whew! I hope that makes sense. Time for me to embrace this current period of internal housekeeping. I have lots of exciting decisions to make!
The month is flying by. Lots of things have come much more in focus for me since I stepped into the Light of August. Now I’ve started reflecting on my future. On the dreams I’m building and the focus I need.
I have to say that this time of year is always a time for me to think about what I’ve achieved and where I’m going. I find September is my month of endings and beginnings. No surprise really as my birthday is in early October. I like to check in to see how much closer I am to making my dreams a reality. That always leads me to planning for the future once I’ve reset my goals. Some goals have been ticked off the list, some fell off the list and some have more details added. Reflecting on all of these is very powerful.
Interestingly, whatever goals I set myself I know that I will achieve them if I pay attention to the guidance I also get from my lovely, lively Spirit team. After all, they know the dreams, goals and plans I made for myself before I fell to Earth. I’m the one who has forgotten what I promised myself. So they help me to remember. Sometimes it’s in the signs and signals around me. Sometimes it’s the words I hear someone else say. And often it’s my inner intuition being triggered by their presence.
The insights flash into my consciousness like bursts of fireworks. Suddenly I know. With complete certainty. It feels right. I’m back on plan. The future has become full of possibilities once more.
Reflecting on these moments, I feel that opportunities are everywhere. There are so many ways to go. Which route will build my dream in the best possible way? I know that I gave myself plenty of choices when I set my plan. Now it’s up to me to be focused. To tease out what will work best with the ‘me’ I am at the moment. Which options will bring out the best of me. And which options will bring out the best in me bringing out the best in others.
That’s part of the dream too. I want everyone to share in my dream. Everyone who wants to. Perhaps we can make it a wonderful team effort. Certainly our plans will have had that opportunity. I’m sure that the point of being here is to work together as one. To share good intentions, build big dreams and take the actions that will benefit all of us. Working together we can change our lives for the better. We can generate a positive flow of energy that will wrap everyone in love. For when we love what we are creating and doing we get passionate about life.
I want that passion for living. I know what it feels like when all passion has gone. When life seems bleak and empty. When I ceased to want to live. Reflecting on a life without passion I know I will choose the positive road every time.
So the year that’s on its way in is all about me doing what I love. Focusing on my big dreams (and there is more than one) and being creative. I fully intend to enjoy every moment of it and share it with as many people as I can. Here is to the books, the writing, the listening ear, the fragrances, the ArchAngels, the Mystery Odyssey, the artwork, the mediumship and the healing. And of course, anything else that takes me towards a passionate, fulfilling, dreamy life!