I’ve been thinking a lot today about the last five years. I suppose I’ve been measuring the effectiveness of what I’ve spent my time doing. Looking through the memories to see what pings as something I’m happy to recall.
When I’m mentoring one of the things I like to do is make sure we can measure the progress someone is making. Because I know progress is something hard to see when I am in the middle of changes. So too for the mentees. If fact, it’s so easy to think or feel like you haven’t moved on at all. So closing the Centre, disposing of the material things associated with it, got me measuring what I had achieved. I started thinking about all the experiences I had whilst running it. And how I might decide if those experiences were worth it in some way. Then I found that I got focused on the things that hadn’t worked. Or been less than positive. Even disastrous. As if my Ego Mind wanted to present me with all the things that went wrong.
How interesting that I fell into that trap. I feel it’s one we all find hard to avoid. My mind seemed to have forgotten all the good stuff. All the thank you’s and well done’s that came my way. The success stories as people found a way out of the confusion in their lives. Measuring my life for the last five years by these standards makes for a a much better sense of progress than the things that didn’t work. I wondered if it was my tiny little streak of perfectionism jumping in again. I’ve reduced it’s influence quite a lot over the last five years. But perhaps I have more work to do on it. I suppose it could be my little desire to please others – rather than myself – making me feel a lack of progress. I’ve been working on that quality too. The last five years I’ve come a long way in knowing I have to please myself first. It could, of course, be the way I tend to let the judgements of others make me feel I haven’t done enough. Yet that tendency has almost disappeared too.
After I thought about it for a while I realised that a lot of things have changed for me. Measuring my progress means embracing that I do things my way much more. I trust my intuition to guide me and I stay in the flow of energy. Because I know that things will work well when I do. There is so much good stuff to remember. But most of all I can remember that I tried my best, did what I could and grew so much by having the Down 2 Earth Heart Centre.
Day 742 of my blogging challenge