Tag Archives: Doubt

Freezing: Weather, Action, Progress

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FreezingThe weather today has been freezing cold. Back to Winter as the frost bites. It seems like Spring is still a long way away. Despite the recent celebration of Imbolc. Yet the crocuses in my planters are starting to flower. And snowdrops are everywhere.

Perhaps this freezing cold weather will be the last blast of Winter. But I’m not counting on it. Because I know we need the frost and ice. My plants respond to the seasons. They push upward then pause until the perfect flowering conditions are available. Just like me really. I’ve been in a freeze for most of January. Stopping and starting. Feeling the need to rest and store up energy. Then finding myself in the middle of frantic energies of growth. I’ve also found it rather confusing. A bit like the plants must when the seasons get muddled. I’ve wanted to rush into my new work. Then found myself stalled by circumstances. Or by my own doubts.

This freezing of action has made me doubt that I’m making any progress. Yet once I’ve got moving again I have felt sure that I am doing the right things for me. Of course I have had to remind myself that a freeze response clicks in sometimes when I feel fear. It does for all of us. That moment in the headlights when I can’t decide whether to run or fight. So I stand still awaiting my fate. When this happened I try to take very small steps. Like the moment I ordered my business cards for Embrace Intuitive Mentoring. Or when I messaged some people to ask them to do a book review for me. Neither action took more than a few moments. But both made me feel like I was making progress in what I want to do.

If the freeze hits you and you feel like all of your action energy has drained away find a small thing to do. Make a call. Write a plan in your diary. Go for a coffee and discuss your options with a friend. Remind yourself that you a can and you will. Celebrate your progress in achieving at least that one step. And remind yourself that when you have taken one step you can always take another.

Day 802 of my blogging challenge 

Release the Past in a Waning Moon

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Today is a good day to start releasing the past. As the full moon tips into a waning moon, shrinking away into darkness, I always consider what energy, situations, feelings and thoughts no longer fit me.

It’s important to think not only about the recent past but also about those long ago times that may still haunt me. Or shape me. Do I want to continue letting them influence me? A waning moon reminds me that I can let go of anything I wish and remake myself anew. Because the waning  moon brings us the next full moon. It’s an eternal cycle. A reminder that nothing ever dies. We leave and return once more. I’m sure that’s why our ancient ancestors worshiped the moon as the Goddess. With the sun as the leaving and returning balancing of Divine energies.

So I’ve been writing a list of what I want to leave behind me. All sorts of thoughts, feelings, situations and energy made it onto my list. Of course I want to make changes but perhaps doing it all at once would feel rather strange. If I woke up tomorrow morning with all of these things gone would I know myself at all? Would the change be so drastic that I rushed to get all those released things back again? I’d rather not rush it and find myself back where I started. The list needed to be prioritised. What to loose first?

Back to the waning moon again. What is the first slice of energy to go? What is holding me back right now?

Part of letting go is also making sure that I’ve got a clear understanding of what it is. That means asking myself how that energy makes me feel or think. So, for example, perhaps I have to release doubt. Where does that doubt come from? How is it being expressed in my life right now? Am I ready to let it go? Because if it’s the most important thing I have to be totally committed to releasing all my doubts. There has to be no doubt, lol. If it’s holding me back and I’m clear that it needs to go then I will be releasing it’s power over me. And knowing when and where I gave my power away to it helps.

That’s the way manifesting works. Bringing to my attention the ways in which I have stopped the flow of abundance into my life. Reminding me that I have to make room for the new by letting go of the old. As I experience life I make choices. What energy to take on board. I make jusdgements, or listen to the judgements of others, about the meaning of my actions. Sometimes I can’t find the root of my doubts. But it doesn’t matter if I’m really intent on letting this feeling go. Knowing some of the reasons I am full of doubt I can set my intention to realease all doubt.

Then I can begin the process of shrinking or waning the old energy. First by imagining the new me. And how I will feel.

I like to write down what I plan to let go of. It clears my mind. And I find I recognise lots more about the stuck energy when I do so. Then I spend a little time imagining what I would feel like if I got out of bed tomorrow with no more doubts. How would it make me feel? What would I do? How would my life be different? I sit quietly and call in the feelings of a life without doubt. The energy of those feelings helps to make my intention concrete. When I feel like I have soaked up those positive vibes I write myself an affirmation. Something that starts with ‘I release … and I feel …’ It can be as long or as short as I feel it needs to be.

The last step is to put my money where my mouth is, so to speak. It’s a curious thing about being human, when we add action into intention we get a reaction. What we want manifests. I’ve got my affirmation, I’ve got the feeling, thought or thing I want to release so I’m ready to take action so the Universe will act too. Each night for the next three nights I will light a tea light. I will read my affirmation statement. Then I will burn a slip of paper with what I want to let go of written on it. I’ll let the candle burn out completely. When it has gone I’ll remind myself that I’m letting go.

Every morning when I wake up I will tell myself that I have no more doubt. That the Universe is aware that I have changed and is sending me exactly what I need. As the waning moon turns into the new moon I will look forward to lots of brand new, doubt free times.

Day 426 of my blogging challenge.

Questions, questions, questions

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imageThe theme for today seems to have been questions. There is a line in a Johnny Nash song ‘there are more questions than answers, but the more I find out the less I know’ that fits with what has been happening. I have always been someone who asked a lot of questions. Not to be difficult or challenging. I’ve always wanted to know stuff. Like what makes people tick. Like why do we stress differences rather than similarities. Or why we have to be here in the first place. And did the dinosaurs really exist. Each time I ask what about this, why that and how does it work I also have a question floating in the background. One of my biggest questions has always been ‘who says so?’ I’m not very good at accepting some of the half answers either. ‘Because’ doesn’t work for me. Nor does ‘everybody does it this way’. Or ‘that’s the way it always is’.

It’s really wonderful that part of my spiritual path seems to be encouraging others to ask questions too. When I do mediumship and the evedidence is coming in I love that people wonder ‘how did she do that’. When Guides step in close (because they want to prompt someone to understand how to manifest a better world) I enjoy asking the questions that get someone thinking of positive ways to do that. When an energy imbalance has created dis-ease for someone I am grateful that I can ask the questions that might point them in a new direction so that they can regain balance. And if someone has returned to the Spirit World it’s my priveledge to help their loved ones get answers to questions like ‘has all the pain gone’, ‘are they safe & ok’ and ‘will I see them again’. Asking questions can bring so much positive energy for all of us.

Yet perhaps the biggest challenge is also learning when not to ask questions. Again, as the song says, the more I find out the less I know. Some things have to be experienced, lived through, to be understood. It’s the actual experience that provides answers (& probably lots more questions) so too many questions might get in the way of letting the situation unfold. In a way this brings us right back to doubt, fear and comfort zones. When we are developing intuition & mediumship it’s easy to want to know everything all in one go so we can get connected. Going for a reading or getting a message from Spirit we are also tempted to want specific answers because we have certain questions that help us to believe our loved ones are there. We also use questions as a way of getting the answer we really want to hear so we feel reassured to follow a course of action we wanted to do all along. In the end we might find we know way less than we hoped and still have a long list of questions holding us back from taking action.

My Guides have always said only ask a question when you are ready to hear the answer and act on it. I have found this to be a better way of questioning myself, my life and my spiritual path. It has enabled me to step outside of questioning everything I do. Yet I still have the freedom to question as much as I like if I want to. Today as I reflected on the questions people asked me I saw that what I was giving back were not hard & fast, solid answers. They were promts to encourage more questions, more action, more reflection in others. How lovely to share in being open minded, having the freedom to ask & answer and to arrive at a different point from which to view the experiences that life brings us. As the song says ‘what is life, how do we live, what should we take and how much should we give.’ I guess I will spend my lifetime looking for the answers.

Day 157 of my blogging challenge.

Outside the comfort zone

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imageLast night I had to move outside my comfort zone. Only yesterday morning I was talking to a wonderful group of visionary women about the nudges I keep getting from my Guides. They want me to make videos to help people find out more about connecting to the Spirit World. They also want me to get involved in radio & podcasting. To make the point sink in I ended up with a dodgy broadband connect so I couldn’t access this blog page as I usually do. In the end I had four attempts at recording a video, so more practice than I expected!

Today I went off to do something I enjoy doing. I was at Blackpool Spiritualists Church doing the service. It’s very much in my comfort zone now. So comfortable that I could take my shoes off because it was part of a message. Immediately before I started I suddenly thought about how scared I used to be of standing up to give messages. In fact I told people at my first development group that I would never get up on a platform to give messages. So Spirit have helped me move a long way out of that particular comfort zone. Now they want me to move out of other comfort zones. And I’m going to have to make myself uncomfortable to do so.

That is where the resistance usually kicks in. Making a change to any pattern involves stepping into a whole load of doubt, reluctance and fear. If I can’t ‘see’ how things are going to turn out, how I’m going to be when the changes have been made it’s almost easier to try to stick with things staying the way they are. Yet staying the same rules out discovering the new. So it turns out that I am good at connecting with the Spirit World, getting the evidence they want to give and passing on messages. If I had carried on resisting their requests for me to try giving messages in public an opportunity for me to discover a skill and a new passion would have been missed. I suspect it would have come around again but less people would have been connected to their loved ones because I was scared or doubtful. I now wonder how many times they tried to get me out of that particular comfort zone and my reluctance won.

I have several other comfort zones to expand and grow through yet. I have a distinct advantage this time though. I am aware that I resist out of doubt & fear. I also have Guides helping me when I take my first, second and third wobbly steps over the existing line. There is great support available to me from some wonderful people in my life who encourage me to go for it. And I also know that the dithering will always end up with me taking that first step. You see, I also know that I love to grow. It may be painful, challenging or hard work but I enjoy finding a new bit of me – a skill or talent, a mindset or attitude – something that will widen my horizons. Growth is also fun, inspiring, energising and exciting. It’s why we are here. In fact I called my business Growth Into Awareness because I wanted to remind myself that a comfort zone becomes something of a prison if I refuse to let myself change & develop.

Starting right now I’m working on moving outside another comfort zone – more of this in future blogs. Let’s see how far I can move myself this time. If you are finding the pressure of change is inside of you it’s time to recognise your comfort zone has got too small. You have undiscovered & unacknowledge talents and skills. Push yourself a little. Step out one, then two, then more steps. Explore. Rediscover the excitement of the new space in your life. Step lightly through the changes you are making to become more ‘you’. Doubt, fear and uncertainty will be part of your journey. Make then useful by stepping further into those feelings. Turn them into a positive force for change rather than a big brick wall to contain you. You are a unique human being with much more to offer than you recognise yet. Enjoy your journey of discovery!

Day 156 of my blogging challenge.

Room for doubt?

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imageWhen I was developing my intuitive abilies I asked lots of questions. I asked those questions because I was full of doubt. I doubted that I had any psychic senses in the first place. I doubted that I would be able to pick up any information through my psychic senses. Then I doubted the information assuming it wouldn’t be correct. Finally, once it seems that what I was getting was correct, incredibly correct, I doubted that I would be able to do anything with my ability to connect. A lot of people see doubt as a negative quality. We are often told to have faith as if we can automatically stop asking questions and believe everything we are told.

I love that I have doubt. I’ve asked questions all my life. Whatever has been presented to me as the ‘truth’, the facts or the only thing to believe I have wanted to ask ‘who says that this is so?’ I have also doubted myself. Evolving my understanding of who & what I am as a spirit in a human body has often been through challenging the way I understand myself. Of course my doubts have let me say I can’t do this or that. Certainly I have passed up opportunities because I thought I couldn’t do something. Or that I wasn’t the one who should be doing it. Yet amazingly, after all the doubts, questions and self challenging, I have moved my understanding of myself and humanity forward. Out of the doubt has come certainty about my values and beliefs.

I love to share my experiences. Anyone who knows me will say I can keep on talking forever. I always encourage people to question what I tell them. My world view may not be your world view. That is refreshing. It’s wonderful to discuss different points of view. Not to convert someone to my way of thinking. Discussing, questioning, swapping experiences is a way for me to hear out loud my own doubts or questions. Also to hear my own opinions and sticking points. Voicing doubt is also a way to help me consider if I’m doing the right thing for me. We love patterns. Humans general prefer to live by routines. In fact in groups if someone is out of step with the routine there will be subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) pressure on that person to conform with the group. What happens if that pattern only suits some or a few of the group? How do we change the pattern if no one voices any doubt?

When I finally decided to investigate my psychic senses I stepped outside of my pattern. I was somewhat out of step with my group. Mediumship is still a stereotype for the table tapping, crystal ball gazing, ‘is there anyone there?’ lady of a certain age with loads of cats & jingling bracelets. The doubts I experienced were a powerful energy to move me forward in search of other patterns and new groups. I widened my horizons, stepped away from the conventional view of mediums & psychics and started to discover a whole new life. My doubt drove that journey. My questions were answered one by one and have led to lots more questions. I do have faith in my connection to the Energy Beings I work with. Faith that has emerged through the test of doubt. Faith that is stronger because I doubted. To me doubt is a fascinating road to travel.

Next time you doubt yourself give yourself credit for being brave enough to question yourself. Look at the feelings and thoughts your doubt reveal. Are you judging yourself?  Are you afraid to succeed? Are you uncertain of what you want & who you are? Give yourself time to find the answers to your questions. The positive power of doubt can help you find your connection, your support and your group. Keep asking the questions and enjoy being curious!

Day 111 of my blogging challenge.